My Style

Oh my gosh someone just slap me hard and bring me *back* into reality! Better yet just let me wander into oblivion... Ever heard the saying so many things to do and not enough hours in the day? That is basically what I am going through... I am to be leaving town this weekend for a much needed break before I snap..... *Breathe-Breathe-Breathe*

Oh- I forgot to tell you all how I kind of showed my butt on late Sunday... This is what happened! My sons two other friends dropped by on Late Sunday- which is nothing new- because if you read my other entries you will see they are always at my place..Anywho- my son comes to ask if he can have some money to buy one of those Popsicle Fruit ice creams. I gave him 10.00- and told the boys that each of them could have one and to bring my change back... They come back- I get my change..... "1.00" "What the hell???" So I look at my son and ask:

"Ahhhhh, dude, where is the rest of the change?"
Him- "He gave me a dollar back mom."

So of course I turn to Juan whom I dub Lil Street Smarts- and I ask him-
"Juan- is that man still down stairs?"
Juan- "yes, I think so...."

So, I look at all of them as I am sliding on my loafers and I say- "Boys, get your shoes back on and follow me."
My son starts to get a tad nervous... "Mom- did I do something wrong?"
Me- "No sweetie, but today you are going to get a crash course in economics..... I get downstairs and cannot see the gentleman but can hear him ringing the little cowbells..
Juan- " There he is!"
We fast pace hoof it to where a few kids have gathered along with a parent or two.. I whisper to Juan- "Juan, my spanish is not all that great- so translate whatever comes out of my mouth understand?"
Juan- "Yes Maam"
I walk up to the ice cream guy and I smile- and I am trying to be cordial. He looks at me and smiles and automatically proceeds to open the little ice cream fridge.. I look at one of the other kids and ask a parent what kind they had and how much- the lady says "Oh- pina colada-all 1.00!" I say thank you and smile and look at the ice cream man, and then I look at Juan...
Me- "Juan, this is where you start talking."
Me- "Hi, I dont wish to buy your ice cream, I think you still owe my kids some change."
Juan is translating...The guy looks at me and doesnt even hesitate to pull out wads of bills and starts to count it...
Me- "Sir, stop counting for a just a moment and look at these 3 boys right here."
He stops and he looks...Juan is looking a tad confused but still translating....
Me- "These boys are mine, and they look to you as an adult to treat them fairly...."
Me- "If I ever find out, that you tried to rip them off again, and steal from them, I will gut you like a fish and I will be selling your ice cream from now on do I make myself clear?"
Juan at this moment stops after the part of stealing from them and he looks at me....
Me- "Juan, it's ok, just tell him..."
Juan smiles boldly and starts using animation in his gestures as he is translating how I was going to debone him like a fish... *Ever seen the movie the Goonies and Corey Feldman is translating to the Maid? Imagine Juan.*
The guy looks scared but he still manages to count my money in english and keeps repeating how sorry he was.. I get my money and tell the boys "Lets roll" and walk off..At the same time I am muttering:
"He must have bumped his head and thought his name was Big Worm." My son looks at me and says- Mom, who is that? I replied- Just a person from a movie babes, no big deal.... He then grabs my hand as we are all walking back home and he says- "Mom, I am sorry I didnt get all of your change back." I stopped in my tracks and turned and looked at each one of those beautiful faces and I told them:
"Look, I am sorry that you guys had to see me get ugly, but what that gentleman did was wrong.. He stole from you, and when someone steals from you, they steal from me.... You didnt know this because you all trusted him.. If there are times in your life that in your stomach you are not comfortable about something or of what someone tells you, that means you should think about it before acting- because it could be the wrong thing." "If anything, I am sorry, because he took advantage of you all, and I cannot be there all of the time...."

I felt bad because....well...there are no manuals or booklets on how to raise a kid to not get hurt, or swindeled... We worry about them and want to protect them the best way we know how, and sometimes that just isnt enough...However- while they are still under my roof, I do the best I can.

I didn't tell you guys what happened on Saturday when I went to weigh in did I? "SHOCK FACTOR"..*laughs* I just have to say some things to get a reaction... I know, I am bad....sue me... *smiles* So... I go to weigh in and I sit with the Doctor who is going over my blood work....
Dr- "How are you doing and how are things going? "
Me- "I am feeling and doing well thanks. Only problem is that I have this swelling going on from where I had the last shot and when I try and jog, its like a stabbing pain."
He then asks to see it- which means I have to drop my pants and pull down my panties somewhat...His hands are like pressing here, there," Ummmm They are warm" I am thinking, and he is too cute too boot... He finishes and he tells me what happened, and volunteers to give me another one..*free* and that he would do it. I decline... He then starts flipping through the folder examining my results of the past 3 weeks...
Dr- "You are doing exceptionally well!" "Do you know that in one weeks time you have lost 6 pounds of fat and your cholesteral is balanced, your iron is good, your blood sugar is a tad high when we drew your blood though."
Me- "Yeah, thats because about 15 minutes before I arrived I ate a Reeses peanut butter cup."
Dr- "Oh I see...Ok..well what I would like to know is...tell me exactly what a day is like for you, so we can balance out your HDL levels...."
Me- "exactly?"
Dr- "yes"
Me-"ok".... (Get ready folks this is where I just started betting if this man was going to turn red, or just become speechless! It was a KODAK moment I tell ya!)
Me- "Well I wake up around 6am or so and then I masterbate before getting out of the bed. It jumpstarts my heart rate, and then I have breakfast around 8- take my pill around 9:30-have my snack, then lunch, snack, my other pill around 4, go workout, have a light dinner and then I am in the bed normally by 10 or so, and then I masterbate again to help me sleep because the workout has me edgy."
SILENCE..........He just stares and I am wondering if he is just really at a loss of words or if he is going to need CPR... I then let him off the hook...
Me- "I am kidding....relax... I just wondered if people actually say stuff like that since you are a doctor and all... "