Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007 What kind of woman are you- or have we been broken in to? This was really eye opening to me because of course- I did not think I had any serious issues...Truly... And then it came to me.... I *did* have a problem as does every woman and every man.... We all needed to be *validated in who we are* Since this is my post- and I am trying to relay this to a broad spectrum of women- I felt it humbling for me to express some things about myself in order to express to you- that Hey! I know what it is like... I know how it feels to be so caught up in dilemmas and not think I would never amount to anything...I know.... Been there, wrote the book, took a photo, created a t-shirt, wore it, and became the manager of printing it. *laughs*I know........ My need for self validation came not in the form of drugs, or alcohol, but in the form of men. I bounced in and out of long term relationships thinking that *hey- they love me- I have never felt that- and therefore they can tell me who I am, what I am, and how to become all that I want to be* May I be honest with you, in telling you that self validation does not come free- nor is it cheap when you are looking for it in or through other people. It will only cause you to be used........and heartbreak. I will also be honest in telling you that self validation as a woman is also like being a steak to hungry lions...Men..... What Men do not openly admit- is that they TOO need to be self validated therefore they get it from women. See the connection? Men do not go to other men and ask- "Dude, do you think I am pretty? Am I fat? What do you think?" No....they go to women..And if there is a woman around to give them that validation then it builds them up, which is why it is so important to seek that Beauty inside you. Which brings me to another point in which I think most men are weak. If they cannot validate themselves, what makes you think they can validate you? What kind of woman- today are you? Are you Desolate-Dominating, or Arousing? Desolate meaning needing validation- Dominating meaning- You have it all under control and your way is the best way-screw everyone else- or are you Arousing- meaning accepting and embracing of your femininity? I can openly admit that I was Desolate.....I had that *something* inside me- but could not place it- so I looked for certain men to define it... Now that I have that A-Ha moment- I am in the phase of Arousing....Not in the sexual tense- but in the sense of my Femininity as a woman. I am: inviting and open to others I am tender and full of forgiveness and compassion I am nurturing I am strength I am sexy I am adventure I am Love..... Because of that embracing- THAT is where you find your confidence. Ever notice how when your at the mall and you look at people and wonder- Wow they are too cute to be with that person how did that happen??? It was what the person has on this inside that flows on the outside. It was their Beauty. This can be for women as well as Men.... I know men that have gone through that phase of validation- and it oozes out of them- and they are just beautiful in that light and others flock to them because of that... I also know men that still seek that validation and prey on womens needs of validation and in turn they fill their heads with all kinds of bull shit in order to make them feel *manly*. Oh yes. I am putting it out there and calling you out. You are the men that are married- or have so called girlfriends- that know nothing of each other- and then sneak out to meet another woman to help validate what your *current lady* is not... You are the ones that are blatant in seeking women that have needs of validation- by telling her- "I Love you, but I also have other needs that you cannot give me- and then you prey on more women to validate your so called needs..And yet you FEEL it is ok because you have permission from your partner." What you do not realize is that the day will come when they will wake up out of their brokeness and will kick your asses to curb- and will rise up to become the Beauty that they are meant to be..... My sweet sisters....It is ALL ABOUT YOU....It really is...You have the right to be Feminine and Beautiful in every way. You have the right to say no for not sleeping with someone- or yes if YOU want to...You have the right to be strong, and sexy, opinionated with grace and dignity...It's ALL ABOUT YOU...... And yes...It is scary..It will be when you take the step....To live in this type of Beauty and light, we have to understand that there will be no guarantees that our hearts will not be stomped on...There are no guarantees that someone will accept what you have to offer..I know this all to well also...To give willingly and lovingly- to only have someone weak just abandon you because of their own insecurities. And yet- I do not stop or block that Femininity.. It is who I am.....And yet I did not offer it to just anyone....Only select few.......and when you face that in your life- it's ok to cry..It cleanses your soul....... And then in time when you heal you get back up and keep living! Ladies, don't stop your beauty from growing because of doubts and fears.....Don't bury it because of heartache from the past. Today is a new day..As long as you are breathing, you have another day to live. Live- don't just exist. Another of my favorite authors C.S.Lewis writes about a womans Beauty being rebirthed....Here is a sample: "If there is a real woman-even the trace of one-still there inside the grumbling, it can be brought to life again. If there's one wee spark under all those ashes, we'll blow it 'til the whole pile is red and clear." C.S.Lewis So it is here my sweet ladies of Beauty. Bring her back out.....And I am one that will continue to blow on your embers into full ignition............................ callie |
