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I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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South Carolina born, Hawaiian Embraced

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Merrie Monarch Festival

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

OK. has anyone seen the caption on MSN about the lady who jumped in Knuts Polar Bear cage? She scaled the damn wall like spiderman on crack- through thorns and other security measures to what? See what she could see???? What???? But her ass got a rude awakening. She became delightful edible food. Lady- you are an ASS! you may as well just wear the sign!

Gas Station Chronicle Ass award goes to- "The Man who wore no underwear". yes people. Not only was he not cute, but he was bigger than the plumber and had his pants so far down all I saw was Hair and ass. No thong- no nothing. Just bear hair covered ass. I think I gagged. No. I am sure I gagged. I mean, it was only 7 sumethin in the morning- and yes- he may have been running late for something, or he was just coming from something, or well- no excuses. He was an Ass showing his ass......

Ass award goes to the Driver who I cussed out on yesterday. Example- If you are in a right hand lane waiting for the light to change to green, and the car in front of you- instead of going "STRAIGHT" when the light changes to do a U-Turn in front of you where you almost side swipe their vehicle- then you have as ASS in front of you. People. I lost my shit. I mean- it is understandable that you may realize at the last moment that you missed a turn or something, but give me a break. I cussed that man out until I ran out of words. And he just looked at me and honked and smiled. *sighs* I think I need a vacation or something. I am just done these days.

The "wannabe you are an Ass award goes too"- The so called boaters taking over ships- thinking they are Jack Sparrow and want to be Pirates. Look- I will break it down as gentle as I can- but..... "YOU ALL ARE NOT JACK SPARROW!" You are ASSES! stop watching the movies, and find a new career for crime! Cheeze and Crakerz! Everyone wants to be a star. If I were out on the seas chasing you down, I would be a woman on a mission. I would show you what kind of ghetto pirate I could be. werd!

And that ladies and gentleman.....is my vent....ooooooooohhhh... I forgot. For all my ladies out there, do breasts increase with age? Because I went bra and panty shopping, only to have that heffer tell me I am now a 40 D- DD....I was a 38D...How does that happen????

Ok. I am outta here! Holla at yer gurl. I miss ya'll.

~c