Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Thursday, October 12, 2006

    Hellooooooooooo Neighbors..... it is Thursday and today I am actually feeling good, so please allow me to share some of that with you...Now this can only work if you trust me enough, and you do what I do got it??? Good....


    1. Stand up wherever you are
    2. Raise your arms high above your head and stretch!
    3. Now- grab onto your breastesess (men also) and repeat after me........
    4. I- on my honor, do accept life and its abilities to challenge me to be all I can be..I do accept the honor of smiling when I dont want to, saying nice things when I dont want to, and being polite, even when I do not want to.

    Now- grab your boob nipples and pinch real hard and say-
    5. Cause if I dont, I will feel just like my nipples do....Painful and aware of the pain I cause others for being such a jackass....

    Now- relax and consider yourself *Dusted*

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    Seeeeeeee.....That was not so bad now was it???? I am so easy to get along with I tell ya! It is Thursday and we have one more day people to run the race.. Let us do this together......

    I found this in my toy box and decided to tell you about my story......

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    See....it really was not my fault. I am kinda wild at times when pushed to the *ultimate* limit..And people when I say pushed I mean, you have to really catch me when all else has hit me in the stomach and I have had enough, and that is only 2 or 3 occassions out of my whole 36 years of being on this earth....... The background of this story was me driving my mechanics loaner vehicle while he was operating on my truck....... I am sitting at a red light when all of a sudden I feel this large jolt and I hear this loud *crunch* to the back of the vehicle..... After already being in a vehicle with no ac- and missing breakfast and lunch, and having to go spend more money paying a bill that was not even mine along with other past issues, this was just not a great day... What really set it off- was after the person hit me, they drove up beside me and waved and kept going!

    Ohhhhhhhhh.....Let's switch this car in Drive and catch them I tell myself.... I was for a few moments in a Smokey and the Bandit move you guys..You would have been proud.. I put on my hazards and was in an official car chase chasing this truck...They turned left, I turned left..They dipped I dipped...I caught up to them and cornered them in a grocery store parking lot... This man got out of the truck acting like nothing had happened, until I screeched my tires behind him....

    I jump out of my car with my cell phone and the First thing the driver of the other car says is-

    "I speak no English"

    Me- "Oh ok...Let me help you understand what I am saying.... You hit my car and just drove off.. That is illegal....No problem, you can talk to the police...Understand now? Ok?
    He then looks at me and says "No police- No license, how much?"

    Me- "Oh you can speak English now? No! How about No license, you hit people, drive off, you speak to Police.. It's free..........."

    I get on my cell and call the police..He gets back into his truck- tells the other passengers to get out, and drives off.... By this moment I had taken his tag number etc etc...The other passengers are looking at each other and start to walk off... I notice that one of them had a little boy in her arms that she was holding whose head was bleeding a little bit from it being hit on the dashboard....

    I look at them and the only thing I could say while on the phone with the police-

    "Look, your child is hurt, and I need for you to stay here until the police come..if you run, I will chase you."

    So...after what may have been a freakin pondering of life moments- they both decided it was best to run.... I did also.. I took off my 40.00 earthware sandals (which by the way are awesome for ones feet) and I hoofed it down the street... Cell phone on my ear with the police telling them I am in pursuit- and looking like an Olympic Sprinter .... Well, I took it a step up people.... One of the girls stop and flags down this driver, who in turn was the same driver that hit me but in a different car- He stops and picks them up..How do I know all of this? Because Moma has now turned into the freakin Bionic Woman and jumps ontop of the car hood! Well while the vehicle is still moving, and me hanging on- it just so happens the Police see this spectacle and there go the blue lights a flashing...The car pulls over, I get off, the car takes off, and what the hell happens next? Officer Friendly comes and asks me questions....Hello?????

    Officer- "Maam, you want to tell me why it is that you are riding down the street ontop of a moving vehicle?"
    Me- "Well Sir, those people hit my car and drove off and I caught up to them, but now your letting them get away."
    Officer- "Maam, you need to calm down and lay off the attitude I am trying to help you."
    Me- "then help me by going after the driver that just dodged into that apartment complex!"
    Officer- "Where are your shoes?"
    Me- "my shoes???" (by this time I am pissed)
    Me- "they are at the grocery store parking lot with my friends bent in car that was hit by the people you just let get away...."
    Officer- "Maam, get in the car...."

    He opens the back door and I am sitting behind a cage- fuming......... We go back to the parking lot and he asks me for the story.... I have to repeat it like 5 times to get him to understand...... He then asks for my information (personal) and then sits there in silence.....listening to people on the radio awaiting for tag information and other good stuff......

    Officer- "Maam, do you know that they could have killed you?"
    Me- "Did you know that you could have caught up to them?"
    Officer- "Look, how do you even know it was the same driver that hit you?"
    Me- "Probable Cause and Preponderance of the Evidence...."
    He looks at me and smiles.(yeah smile on Officer Friendly, you didnt think this fyness took Criminal Law did you jackass)..I look at him with an eat crap look and turn away...... Well after another hour or 5 so it seems, they radio back and tell him the vehicles arent registered this and that- and that because of it there is no way he can follow up because it's a tag scam...Meaning switching of tags to different vehicles which he states is common....

    Me- "Great...can I go now or are you going to arrest me for something....?"

    Officer- "you got a smart mouth I am trying to help you...."
    Me- "well, thank you for your help Sir, but your credo doesnt quite add up with me sitting here when the real people just busted up my friends car....Besides, I am hungry, I think I stepped on glass because I am bleeding on your carpet a little bit, and I am just tired of life right now...."

    He goes onto giving me more advice and finally lets me out of the car......

    Officer-" Maam, the next time- please just let it go,,I dont want to see or hear about you getting killed over something like this ok?"
    Me- "yes Ok....although it was fun for the moment..You all need more people like me.... ready to get the bad guy..."
    Officer- "maybe we do......just sign up at the Department..."
    Me- "I was kidding.....I just want to go home now...Thanks....." (I Muttered...For nothing)

    So you see folks...Live life to its fullest! Who knows....you may make it as a stunt double one day like me.....