Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
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Wednesday, August 01, 2007Yo!
So sorry that I did not post yesterday, but can you believe it was because I was working??? I know..Bowl me over why don't you..So I had to lay low on yesterday in order to complete my task of work obligations...But I am here now! So quit your whining. Sheesh.... People the state of Georgia has declared a state of emergency because of our so called drought issue. I say so called because if water was that big an issue- they would stop building freakin car washes left and right! I reckon that gives me a greater excuse to buy more Guiness then...
"Oh- I had to cut down on my water intake because of the drought so I am replacing it with tons of Guiness-Drink Up!" Which by the way- I am wondering if I drink a few prior to my doctors appointment how my test results will be when they draw blood. For shits and giggles I think I will do such a thing...Mouche- give me a number.....Tookie- sling me a number...Blitheroo and Bettina- KEV- sling me a number.....This will be classic!
Speaking of classic, I have a "GAS STATION CHRONICLE." *Insert Alford Hitchcock Scary Theme Here*....Work with me..... First of all - I realized how good a driver I am holding a Great Guzzler of a mixture of coke and vanilla flavoring, a hot dog in the other hand- and a bag of cheetos in my lap...Skillz my friend...Skillz!!! Anywho- prior to driving this way- I went inside the store to pay for my goody bag when I hear this lady talking about how her ankle was leaking green stuff.... Ummmmm Ok.....CHICK..LISTEN TO ME NOW! If your ankle is leaking green stuff it is a sure sign that amputation might be needed....SECOND of all: you don't need to be discussing that stuff near me while I am trying to slather my hot dog in mustard... THIRD of all- just because one of the customers was in scrubs does not mean her advice is free yo!
So then after this upsetting moment in Hot Dog- Glory fixin time history- Her ass is at the register asking this poor cashier about some Mango Wrapping papers....Sorry they don't carry those...Then she asks for Cherry sumethin rather wrapping papers.....Nope sorry they don't carry those either... Ummmmmm...am I missin something here in this line???
"YO!! Crack Head Pot Smoking gangreen leaking barbie- this is not flavored drug paper day! " You want flavored paper buy a pack of starburst fruit chews and lick those...Sheesh!" So what next? She hits some guy up in the store for a ride..and of course some goody action- and she pays for get this....His beer...He tells her meet me out in the parking lot.....She then pays for some smokes- probably to use those as papers and she pays the cashier with a 50.00 bill and walks out the store- jumps in this guys truck and off in the wild blue yonder- probably with the theme of Top Gun blaring in the background....I look at the cashier, he looks at me- and accompanied with my laughter I look at him and say:
"Dude- you guys accepting counterfeit bills now?" He laughed as he put the money in the register, but I guess it dawned on him because he re-opened the drawer and started to check for water marks and such.....wanker....
And that people was my highlight of the day- aside from reporting that I had one heck of a dream the other night and fell out of the bed.....I can't even tell ya what it was about. I could have been running with the bulls for all I know.
Yo! Holla Back you Callie Blogaholics!
Sending you off with a proper Piratess Arrrrggggghhhh Mateys