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World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007Thats right people! Apparently the stench of yesterday must have been horrendous for me to blog about it right? Exactly!
Onward we shall go people! Skip along with me on my magical internet portal and whistle that little tune of skipping through the woods..Only we aint really skippin through the woods, we are really walking to the gym in 100 degree weather- with a bottle of water in one hand totin a towel in the other hand *along with sani wipes*....... We are walking along when suddenly this guy walks past us and he is carrying a garbage bag as if he is on a tight rope- ya know? Keeping the bag at a distance far away from him, with a towel buried over his nose..... Also keep in your vision that this bag is kinda leaking as he is speedingly trying to get rid of this...this....something.....
We are walking along and all of a sudden- we all stop walking and scrunch our noses and perhaps some of us- *myself included * is now bending over as if to yak onto the hot concrete- but instead feels vomit rising to the throat in angst.... Not only do we get stopped in our tracks by this odor- but we still try and procede to the gym and whistle- but the smell is now lingering in the sweet hot air that was once filled with birds and happy bees....ONCE mind you...because when Mr. Man walked by trying to rid perhaps a body in a garbage bag those birds and bees just fell out of the fuckin sky! They are dead! We are heaving!
By this time my son decides to walk with me to the gym, sees me doubled over in disgust and then announces to the whole world...
"Mom! You stink! Why do you smell so bad?"
Of course I did a Laura Croft attention style stand off to my kid and informed him through watery glazed eyes it was not me- it was Mr. Man carrying the garbage....The smell people- was beyond stink on shit..It was horrid skunk ridden funk! Recognize...We tried to run back to the apartment to get away- and it followed us! It was like that little kid in South Park- wherever he went Mr. Hanky *imaginary poop* followed him! We were being targeted by terroristic stink people!
10 minutes later we see Mr. Man walking back to his apartment..He could not have made it to the dumpster that quick so I in tears kinda, went up to him and said:
"Dude! First of all I am not trying to be rude- but whatever you had in that bag has seeped onto you so I am gonna stand right here ok?"
"What...or WHO was in that garbage bag??!!!"
He smiles and says:
"Yeah I know...My Woman skipped out on me a few months ago while I was out of the country. She had all of the utilities turned off and didn't clean out the apartment...I got back today only to see my carpet littered with Gallons of Spoiled Milk and cartons of raw eggs..."
Needless to say people, if he was gone for a few months and came back yesterday after that stuff had been sitting- you would *THINK* someone would have smelled it also and reported it..I don't think he can stay in that apartment after that......I offered to track her down and beat her ass myself but he just smiled and thanked me.... that skank......
3 month old milk and rotton eggs people...I would have never imagined........
what say ye?
EMERGENCY ADD IN EDIT: I am referring this poor guy to this website SMELL GOODS SECTION , and creating my own must needs want list right now! "Hey That Guy...What's my scent or flavor again??? *winks"