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Thursday, October 25, 2007
People...I just wanted to bring to your attention a tad of a discussion in which I participated in...On Live radio....Yep....It was moi that called in to a radio station basically to say in short easy to understand verbiage that "Hey, I disagree with the so called Psychiatrist that you just had on the air." The producer before going any further with me then says: "Are you a Doctor, a Nurse, a Teacher?" my response.... "No. I am a mother, a sister, a friend, and though I may not carry a degree of some sort of high class facility- I do hold an honorary degree in which I graduated Magna Cum Laude- at the Moms school of Hard Knocks.." His response... "Sweeeet. Hold on while I get you on."
And I waited, and then the radio show hosts came on and said" So, you think our chosen book author was not correct in his evaluation and studies for the topic- Being a Bully's Best Friend?"
My Response: "Good Morning to you both, and no I do not agree with his system or his suggestions"
Basically this is the jist of things....The so called pronounced Doctor and Author of a book he wrote- Befriending a Bully just basically painted a picture of how to raise a pansy. This is my opinion- so if any of you disagree that is fine. We all have them like buttholes. I basically disagree in what he was saying which was that when our kids are being bullied, that they are to constantly love on these bullies and do whatever they ask..... in order to gain the bullies friendship..I basically disagree with that- because not everyone in the world needs to be friends with everyone. There are those that chose to be your friend, and there are those that can care less.... He gave a few examples on the air of how kids are to act towards bullies...Example- and yes I am paraphrasing because a blog whore was driving, chugging down a V8, whilst laughing a hearty har har laugh as I listened to this man- that sounded more like a character from the Bird Cage with his advice......
Him- when your child is in class and a bully comes up to them and says-
"give me your lunch money". Your child should respond as such- "Oh, I will kindly give you my lunch money, have a good day." and should smile throughout this process.... His teaching is that this will soften the hearts of a bully in which in time he will become your childs best friend. Well....Calliez philosophy is Funk. That.Noize. In that type of situation and grooming, you are then responsible for your child to engage in and become stuck in a rut called-
passivity...and then in time they will continue to just stick with mediocrity in their thoughts because they are too afraid to be out of the box... I tell you what..when I was growing up- I got my azz kicked alot...I tried to follow that rule of- If someone hits you, don't hit back. Go tell a teacher...Yes that was all fine and good..BUT what some parents...*not all* but some- do not realize is that your child will still get their ass kicked for then being a snitch. When I got tired of having my ass kicked daily I then arose to the occasion and started defending myself... I got to a point that when the 3:00 playground challenged was issue- Instead of running and hiding, I fought...Sometimes I lost...sometimes I won...But I took a stand against those that wanted me to be a victim....I chose to be a victor.
And then...this is what the radio person had to say next..."Well, I understand what you are saying, but we also have to look at the teachings of Jesus and how he was bullied and he never did anything back...We too should be the same way...."
My response- "yes I agree to a certain extent, however it also states in the Bible to not bear false witness or seek revenge and you are currently breaking that by doing drive by's in your neighborhood to report those in your subdivision for breaking the water curfew band.....Instead of rising to the occasion and being a man by going to your neighbors, knocking on their doors and asking them to stop." "You are in a sense passive and chose to remain in your sacred space just to keep from being retaliated against." "As for Jesus he may not have lifted a finger, but there were others that did on his behalf I am sure. And if you wish to pull the Jesus card, that is fine, however in scriptures it also states to Pluck out your eye or cut off your arm to keep from sinning. Let me know when you start to chop off body parts."
He then kinda of hesitates as to probably be thinking..."Who the hell put this girl on the line." After a moment he then says: "Well, I just think that your methods are not appropriate considering how we are to follow with Jesus' teachings.To Turn the other Cheek..And well....I don't know."
My response- "Well I understand what you are trying to convey to your listeners however please do not misunderstand what I am speaking. I am not saying that kids need to just up and fight all of the time. I am saying that children should be able to stand up for themselves and rise to challenges in order to be able to adapt to this world that is going to hell in a basket quicker than a Larry Bird dunk. I am saying that parents and children need to be more involved with each other, and school officials to be more proactive in challenges than to be passive and give in to those that desire nothing more than to be vicious in their thoughts and actions towards those that are weak. Turning the cheek all of the time is not what Jesus wants of us- and what happened when you have no cheeks left to turn and offer? Being a bully comes in many forms. Not just physically but mentally. You are basically confirming as an example mind you, that when a person cannot think for themselves and allows someone to run over them, that they should still do whatever it takes to befriend them in hopes that they come over to the bright side of things.. And that just won't happen. It is a chance you take. But if we continue to teach this type of passivity to our kids, when we are dead and gone, who will be there to guide them on how to fight for freedom and liberties if they continue to remain oppressed?"
By this time- the announcer then decides that they have to depart- but that I was very insightful and they enjoyed my call.. I too enjoyed calling in..I have no beef against anyone..truly...People do against me, and yo- that's ok too because I know who I am and do not need someone to validate me. However I am raising a warrior...not a pansy...and if he cannot learn to stand even after being knocked down- he will never be the victor that he is destined to be- but only a mere pawn in someones Else's chess game.
I beg to differ. I would rather him call... Check Mate.