Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Saturday, September 19, 2009

    I attended a special event for a friend of mine that adopted 3 kids. What was so special is that she is a grandmother, and took on the responsibility of adopting and caring for a set of twins at the age of 2, AND a 5 year old. I can only say that I am out of practice because when I assisted her by supporting her and going with her to court- those kids wore my ass out! I had one on my left hip, one hanging onto my hand- all of them screaming for apple juice and potty breaks and ....geez..... Ok... so after that beautiful event, she decided that we would eat at a place I had always wondered about but never took the chance. It was called The Waffle King....Not Waffle House which I am so fond of but the Waffle King. So- we get to this place and it is bigger, cleaner, and has a huge menu with all kinds of stuff. I ordered hashbrowns all the way- ya know- ham and onions and peppers and mushrooms with hints of tomato. I also ordered of course a Waffle. Plain....just a waffle.... When the food came out it smelled good and looked tasty. I ate the small plate of hashbrowns with a weird face of not being all that pleased. I was looking forward to my waffle yo! I poured that hot syrup all over my belgian waffle,took a bite and almost hurled. I made this face of "what the fuck is this yo?!!!" It tasted "sour" ya know? I mean, it had a wang to it. Like as if you lick a lemon and you get that bitter taste. I politely called my waitress over and whispered... "Something is wrong with your waffle batter, it tastes sour". She politely said ok, let me talk to the cook....Well, he looked at me, I waved and then he whispered something back to the waitress. She in turn whispered something back, by then the manager walks up to them looks at me, I wave again and they all huddle together.

    By now, I am getting a little perturbed as I await a verdict on why my waffle is tainted. The waitress comes back and tells me- get this: "I talked to the cook and manager and they said it is just the vanilla, he can make you another one if you want." By this time I think I looked at her like :" I think I know how vanilla tastes, and this aint it sister." So I tell her, "No, I don't want another waffle." She smiles and walks off...Now, I am not the brightest star on the planet, but don't they take it away and discount your ticket or something? Because I never saw that bitch again until she was ringing me up and brought my ticket back to me with the waffle still attached to the price tag. So- by now I shoot a look at the manager who is hovering in a booth that is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to small for her sloppy looking ass because she only weighed 400 plus. She shoots me a look and gives me a phony smile missing 4 teeth in total and waves as if I am a lucky winner for the day. I am still sitting in amazement trying to find some niceness in how to approach her, and then the scale tipped when I saw her do this.... Apparently Ms. Waffle King is actually the Queen for the day and was waiting for the cook to fix her breakfast which consisted of scrambled eggs on wonder bread slathered in 4 packs of mayo. She took one bite and yells out to the cook- "These eggs aren't scrambled hard enough, I need you to recook this." I then decided etiquette on my part was tossed in the wind and decided to take my check and approach her.....this is the dialogue as I recall....

    Me- "Excuse me Maam?" "I am sorry to interrupt you and your egg sandwich but I was not pleased with my waffle, can you please take this off my ticket?"

    Waffle Queen- "Well honey, the cook offered to make you another one and you refused."

    Me- "Yes I understand that but I didn't want another waffle with tainted batter so can you please take it off my ticket?"

    Waffle Queen- "No maam, you refused to take another waffle."

    Me- "Ok...fuck it! (I did whisper this cause I didn't want the kids to hear me) You should be ashamed of yourself, but that's ok! I will pay your additional four dollars and will also tell you why I think your waffles suck major balls. It's because you have a cook sweating like Kunte Kinte in the fields picking cotton. He is sweating over everyones food because he has no air ventilation while cooking!"

    By this time I think she is getting ready to call the police because she tries to weeble wobble her fat ass out of the booth, but by her red sweating face she is probably in heart failure mode because she is having a hard time scooting out. I am observant..So- I end my analysis of the tainted waffle- pay my tab and we all leave. To bad she didn't know how suave I am and had a web site. Fuck a refund, I just got it riiiigggght here yo!

    In other words- DON"T eat at the Waffle King.....it sucks......

    Blither roo!!!! I have missed you!!! Send me your addy cause Christmas is almost here and you always send out cards and you need one from me for your all this year! Kiss tink for me....!

    Pele- I have no idea what song you were referring to with Ms. Long name.... sorry. I suck I know....

    PS....my son asked me to sign up for swagbucks. He is trying to win a cruise. So- if you guys can click on the banner on my page and sign up, that would be swell. It will only take him a year to earn enough swag bucks for a cruise. Jus sayin yo!

    Lurve ya!