People- Friends, Far and Wide lend me your ears! Ok...so maybe not your ears...Lend me your eyes and your imaginations! I know you all missed me...I saw it all on my comment board when I stated I was running off to get married.. You all are my peeps! I have better class than that. I would have at least sent you all an EVITE and then eloped! Recognize!



I do hope that you all had a great weekend though. As for me it was quiet. I ended up watching movies and more movies... can I just say once again that Daniel Craig freakin rawks my sox while playing *Bond, James Bond* ????



Lurve. That. Man.

"YO"

Oh ok let me calm down for a moment.. Other than that I have been just pondering a few things... And when I get like that I tend to just sit back and think about some things at times.. No worries *mon*...... Oh...While I am at it- I know you all have missed my words of wisdom lately, so let me go ahead and get this out of the way right now!

*Ladies!!! Although we all come in different shapes and sizes please recognize that there are some things you should NOT wear! To YOU Ms. Madonna-Like a virgin wannabe....Sweetie.... white lace spandex that you re-rolled 6 times above your knee cap is a no no... You look as if your trying out for a goalie position on a hockey team.....And by the way- the big wide neon belt....tsk tsk.. Unless your taking over the position of a street light..No...*

*To YOU Mr. Man who walked out of the bathroom to hand me your key card with *dry hands*..... Your gross....No way to say it...You went to the restroom, probably blew that shit up because hey- I timed ya! You were in there for a good 12 minutes (which means you took a crap) and then proceeded to hand me your access card...I looked at your hands mister, there was no misty water effects! Did you not notice how I pretended to be on the phone and just smiled and asked you to lie it on my counter??? Dude...your nasty..You are carrying Weapons of Mass Destruction on your hands!! It's called E-Coli........Your nasty!*

*To YOU Mr. "I need to get my coffee and doughnuts really fast because I am late for a meeting do you mind if I cut in front of you"? Ahhh Yes! I do mind! I along with 6 other people have been waiting patiently while my little friend Nasim has been doing her best to get us all out on time by smiling and asking how many sugars! yes I do mind, because your azz should have been up on time and in line like the rest of us...Oh and you looked shocked when you asked me. Normally I would have said "Sure go ahead" but I spotted you before you ran in mister.. I saw you sitting in your car on your mobile phone laughing away...Laugh this way mister! I bet it's not funny anymore is it? Get in the back of the line!*

And last but not least........ *Ms. lady with that wild ass animal of yours you call a child....First of all I am a true woman lover of kids..If I could I would have more- but for now let me just school you on some Callie Advice..Bless your heart, I know you think you mean well, and I am not saying that you are a bad parent..Because I do not know your situation.But I know enough to tell you sweetheart..... "Your child is a demon in disguise! Sybil does not have anything on your kid! I saw him bite you, and scratch you when you told him to put the candy bars down...I saw the terrified look in your eyes as people watched your child call you names, blow snot bubbles out of his nose while he screamed at the top of his lungs "candy"...... 3 words momma....just 3.....

Body.Slam.Him.

ok...so you can't do that...But you are the parent...You should have jacked his ass up and threatened to send him off to boot camp....You need to master the evil eye look...the I dare you look.... and then for extra effect- showed him the ping pong paddle that you bought at the thrift store for a quarter. Girl, you better get a hold of him...Quick......*

And that is all...Enuff for now.....Until then, may you have a great Tuesday, may someone get laid- because it aint happening here....

And for my friend Lily:

HAPPY Birthday!

peace!
callie