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I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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South Carolina born, Hawaiian Embraced

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Yo- I hope all ya'll had a freakin good Christmas! As for me, Wine, Wine, And More Wine. yep yep! Of course I did not really spend my Christmas all by lonesome- I volunteered to attend my families little throw down and got my Ham and Collard Greens on! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I am talking about eating so much that you are beggin for an enema because you ate so much you can't crap. *wink

See, those that read my stuff you try and act all bashful and "OMGosh I can't buleeeeeeve she said that!" Well listen up mateys, buleeeeeve it! I said wrote it and plastered it all over my lovely blog. Now- whose gonna fess up and admit that they prayed for a big dumperoo after that holiday meal? Exactly.

Onward- My christmas was lonely in a sense because it was not at my house, because hellloooooo- the gas company f'd up a Blog Whores Christmas by having wrong contact info in their database which has prolonged my domicile to generate heat. That's right, not only did I piss a few icecubes which if I didnt wipe fast enough they would have been icecicles hanging from my vajajay- BUT I said HoHoHo outloud and puffs of dewy mist in cloud format blew out my mouth. And no- it wasn't pot or anything like that. I am a natural buzz and high. TRUST. I did accept an invite on behalf of my aunts and rolled down to south atlanta and hung out there. It was cool. And then I jumped back into my truck and hauled ass back to Mexi-lanta and feasted with a few other friends on ceviche, tortillas, and I be damed the BEST cake I have ever eaten. and I think after that is when my mood just went south because my stomach started cramping, and I really wanted to blow a fart but couldnt, and well my night was shot as I doubled over in bed praying that Santa would just fly away and have the reindeer stop running all over my poor belly.amen.

So the fiasco finally ended this morning when I overdosed on laxative and now I have a new bounce in my step and I have been a whistle blowing fool spreadin more good cheer! Woot Woot!!!!

2009 is vastly approaching. One of the many things I will attempt to do is get back into dating. It has been a while and I have learned alot about myself and what I like, want, won't put up with, and I will - am- willing to give it another try. But damn it people. I hate dating. I really do. I am so not wanting to deal with men of many masks, and lies, and oh jimminy cricket on crack- the whole "What's your sign, what's your number (and they don't call) yeah I like you (and they don't call) ..you know what I mean? Or better yet..the sex...I don't know but I can't fathom the thought of laying up with someone that I have never been with before...Am I making sense? no? Ok let me explain...I don't want to be with someone that may not know how much of a freak I can be. The last thing I want is to be with some guy and when I slap his ass he gets pissed. Or if I like to be stroked a certain way- he starts having heart palpatations and then dies on top of me because he was not ready to ride SeaBiscuit. I'm SEXY BABY recognize dat! Cheeeeeeze and Crackers. Dating scares the shit out of me. I think I will just invest in the pumpin peter and call it a night.

I of course have a lot of other things on my list I want to accomplish. Nothing drastic to where if by chance it doesn't happen, I wont lose my shirt over it. Would rather lose my shirt over something exciting and sexy know what I mean? not over drama that I cannot do anything about.

Ok- so- tell me what's up on the horizon for you?

until then...LATERZ!!!!!!!!
~callie