Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Thursday, January 07, 2010 I have a diatribe of thoughts every now and again. I guess that is what makes me- me..... I never was the poser type of girl in which I would portray someone else to get something. I have never been that way which would explain why I never made it for Prom Queen or something like that. I may have been quiet at times, but inside I would want to just majorly blow a volcanic fart and just go buck wild. I did in my 20's and some of my 30's. (Lest we not forget the New Orleans episode where the Big Eazy totally turned me into a non virginal whore for a weekend after hanging out with Da Diva) I haven't touched a drop of hard liquor ever since. Just the smell of Te-kill-ya (tequila) makes me wanna hurl bucket loads.Now I just find myself utterly amazed at where I have been in my life and where I am now, and I sit by watching where I am to be or go in the next years to come. One of the things that I have learned that I appreciate about myself is that fact that i can say "No" and feel good about it. I can say "No" to being a victim of life's unfortunate circumstances when it comes. I can say "No" to my kid when I feel he is being a total butt and needs me to snap him back into place. (Regardless of the fact that he is 6ft. something- momma can still climb chairs and furniture)...I can say "No" to people that are mean to me or that try and take advantage of me. And you know what people- it feels freakin good. No can be a powerful word that comes in handy. Another thing that runs in my mind is the fact that life changes the way a person sees things and prompts them to want the best. Well I would think it would be this way for a majority however there are those knuckleheads that will not ever grasp that wisdom and will just be lifeless until the end. I find myself looking back into my past to only understand that choices i made were mine. They were good and they were bad at times, however each of those choices is what brings me here to today. More confidant than I was years ago- stronger than the day before. Having been on both sides of the fence- it has helped me to relate to others in ways of compassion and grace. Lend a hand..Listen...give a hug...share a smile..... Cry with someone, laugh some more. Which I think leads me to the conclusion of this thought in my head and on my heart. I really don't give a rats ass if people choose to not want to associate with me. They are the ones that are missing out. It is up to each individual to take a place in deciding to read the hearts of man. Each person to me is like a book. They have a beginning, middle, and an end. It is up to me to choose to engage in their life if they are open to allowing themselves to be read. You know i have been on that Dating Web site, and although I am not really looking, or searching, (because I have gone into it with my eyes open knowing it is just a tool to reach out, if anything to find a new friend, go for coffee or something with the opposite sex. If something develops fine if not no worries. I have received 3 emails from married men- one wanting a so called- sounding board (yeah that's what he calls it) one wanting to hook up for sexual encounters and was so blatantly honest- that he told me that his wife would never find out because he pass codes his phone, pc's, doesn't use his credit card for paper trail purposes.......and the list went on....and last but not least the gentleman that actually looked like a GQ magazine model- who was interested in another female to assist his wife and to become a part of his polygamist or (poly) as I know it to be firsthand from back in the day) household. Not only did I explicitly reiterate what my profile states, but I gave them all a resounding glorified answer of No...only to have 2 emails shot back at me- telling me how I wasn't this or that anyway....So- what is the purpose of degrading someone? That is when one must delve into their hearts and search out the meanings of character, integrity, morals....etc. etc.. I think to myself, yeah to them I may not be all that, but at least I can face myself in the mirror and come clean and apologize for hurting anyone. And then there was that wild streak in me that wanted to really let into them and perhaps add an additional butthole to their asses with perhaps a brand mark to let them know who gave it to them. And yet- i took a breath and I cried. I am not afraid or embarrassed to admit that i did. I have feelings too. Beyond this device of plastic, and metal and wires with it's surge of electricity - there is a real woman on the other side that has chosen to allow strangers to get to know her and her vulnerabilities at times. Of course not "every" detail mind you, but enough to give validation of my existence in this world. And so along that note, I kindly emailed them back and graciously (as only callie can) extended a "Well good luck to you, by the way here is my web address where I blog. check it out when you have the time.) And here you are! Welcome to my realm!!!! Now that you THE GUEST OF HONOR has ventured into my domain may I offer a toast to you? "Here's to you and others that find degrading people to be a top of your to do list! I lift my imaginary can of Budweiser and shout a resounding toast of a "Fuck You" to you." ~callie |
