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I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

I will be the first to admit that I have had to learn how to "To Let Go"...in general. It is a process in life that takes time, and perhaps courage, because you are allowing yourself to let go of things you cannot control. things that you cannot change and of course things that are of your past which may keep you grounded in areas which prevent you from moving on.

One thing that I am having to let go in is my job. I spent this morning in prayer and just silence because sometimes *noise* detours me from being able to hear my own mind. Sometimes my thoughts come to me in such rapid susession that I have to find a way to shut down and just breathe. It at times means going to the restroom with the door closed and sitting in the dark. Just to get that moment of peace. Albeit my job can be demanding I am Letting Go of trying to make something work. When in reality I cant make *anything* work. I can however continue doing what I am good at and doing what needs to be done. In the end, it will fall into place the way it is supposed to .

Another area that I am Letting Go in as with my son. He and I have had each other for all of his 17 years. Now when I look back at how I brought him into this world.and raised him, I have to start preparing myself for the possibility that in 6 months, he will make a decision to start his own life. Though he may be 6'1...He is still my child and he still doesnt know how cruel the world can be. I feel I have not been able to teach him all of that- or not so much that I didnt teach him everything, but there in lies a bit of guilt that I was not able to offer to him the Manly side of life. Being a single parent and not having *real* relationships of worth to bring into our lives, he has missed out, and it will now be up to himself- his choices .... I even considered my thought process and talks that we have had regarding Military Duty. Of course I cant be the only one, but- I dont want to detour him from his desire or calling because of MY FEAR of him being hurt, or someone hurting my baby.

But it is time for me to Let go of my own fears...Let Go...Let Go...Let Go......