Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Thursday, September 28, 2006

    What Up Yo!

    It's me again. I know, you dont have to bow and kiss my feet or anything..... Today I am honored and graced by my friend "T" who is here to enlighten and school a virgin mind like mine into a few subjects that I have encountered....

    First of all she was kind enough to show me a VERY nice 50.00 Bloomingdales Gift Certificate that she is flashing in my face... "Biotch" I just found out she has..not one but 2. (I think she stole em..... )Anywho- this is what she had to say about Lesbianz stealing-

    1. It is very tacky and cheap for classy Lezbians to steal. (they leave that to the Gay men.)
    2. Who would steal something so worthless... (Did she just hit her head??? 50.00 is worthless???)
    3. She is trying to do the Enron Scheme so "F" the theft of gift cards... (She dreams big)
    4. Besides where are the 26 inch rims? ( do all Lezbians have rims??)
    5. She is sooooo the lipstick flicker...... and she said she only steals from Tiffany's and Neiman Marcus..(You know, she has to keep all her girls happy happy joy joy!)

    OK.... this is what happened to me.. And well I am such a virgin to all of this... So I am learning the hard way. I went out on Saturday night to a bar... I was asked to dance by a really cute guy, and since I like to dance alot I was like suuuuure.... So- we hit the floor.... PEOPLE MOMMA was hittin it!

    Dip baby Dip, Tootsie Roll, Shakin the Money Maker the whole nine yards..."What".... This is also my latina roots that gets involved and all...Don't hate.... So, after we dance, he kisses my hand and leaves, I go to the bar to get a beer... "Guiness" mind you.... As I am drinking my beer and patting the glistening sweat from my brow ( women blot and pat- men wipe) I noticed my little friend with his friends who are all girls.. I didnt think any thing of it...He removed his glasses, and you all... If I could have shot a golden egg out of my butt I think I would have... He turns out to be a She.... Awwwww... I was dancing with a CHIC... I was humpin it with a Dyke- so my friend T says.. (She said Dykes were different , they wear fade- hair cuts.) I dont care... Hair no hair...Him was a She and all I can say now is SHIM.......... You all, help a sister out... How was I to know...????? And then I accidently felt SHIMs peepee rub against me....*ack* you all, T said I was- DanceFloorRaped..... I felt like it...I was bamboozeled...............

    5 Ways to point out a Dyke not a lesbian (stud) thats me T a stud...Written by "T" (I am so confused about all of this)

    1. They have fades
    2. They like to be called "HE"
    3. they wear their strap ons everywhere (you all I about died on this one)
    4. They give handshakes like men.... "dap"
    5. They are overly aggressive towards all women... (but he kissed my hand)
    I was just informed by T hand kisses count- it is part of it.....

    Ok.... SO now that Ihave been date raped by a Dyke, and I have dead fish as memorials, I must suck at life eh?

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