Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Thursday, November 16, 2006

    People- today for me is a day of ummmmm shall I say "Re-Birth" ? Before I go any further- I must explain this... I will try and be brief and get to the point so as to not bore those intelligent minds out there.. Diva came over last night to give me a makeover... Of course I am going through some changes physically and mentally and well all of those "ally" words, and I decided well- since I cannot go out and buy a car or a truck *cause I am a truck girl* how about giving myself a new look....People.....
    May I just say that yesterday I was in the college of mediocrity per se'. This morning I graduated from Sex Pot College with a Magna Cum Libido Honor! What did the FAB diva do for me? Well she listened to my pleas of wanting to feel and look sexy and we went and bought some hair...Ok- lemme explain this real quick like...Hollywood has now just caught on to the hair extension business...And may I just say that whoever slaps that horse hair in Jessica Simpsons and Paris Hiltons head needs to be put out to pasture and shot....*ahem* Anywho- we decided for me to go with a bronze red with highlights... It took hours last night and yes- we did do the slight male bashing- but people, this morning After I showered and strapped on my black and red lace bra with matching panties, and put on my dark green suit, make up and fluffed out my new mane, may I just say I could have sexed myself up!
    And- we women always after having a makeover have to put it to the test...I rolled into my favorite gas station to pump some crude *which went up again- Thank you Washington* and as I was doing that a truck full of Banditos pulled up beside me..They were just smiling and carrying on...And then one of the guys got out to pump his gas and he was smiling, I was smiling, and he was so hot looking- but I really stopped staring becuase even though he was most beautiful with the longest curliest black hair and goatee, and *ok enough of that visual* He kinda looked like Jesus...and well that kinda spoiled it for me...So I paid for my stuff and rolled.. Onward to work.... A lot of people didn't even recognize me...And yes...Get this- a lady told me I looked *SEXY*....*laughs...I know..I am cracking myself up also...Me??? Sexy??? Well that is how I wanted to feel, and by george I am stoked... I told Diva that I wanted to make a statement...So what is that statement you may ask?
    Ummm lets see....Oh I know.... "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"......Ummmm No...that is not the statement I want...
    How about- "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still I'm still Jenny from the...." No...That's not it either.....
    How about this.... "To the guy that royally screwed me in the ass" * without the vaseline mind you*
    There! That is my statement........Next!
    I didn't tell you all that I had to once again go back to the Dr. on yesterday... It seems the lab *forgot* to do a blood test that I paid them to do the first go around..So I had to go back and have them take some more...Well, apparently I have really strange and tiny veins because they kept rolling...It ended up 2 nurses later that they called Dr.Feelgood with the warm hands.....He sat in his little chair and proceeded to prod my arms checking my hands, my wrists...Keep in mind I said 2 nurses tried..That means I was stuck 2times for all of you math geniuses...Now Dr. Feel good sticks me in my other arm, both hands, and one wrist...And still didn't get a drop... By the time he got to my wrist though, Dr. Feelgood was no longer my friend... I started to cry because it started to hurt with them jabbing and fishing in my body, and I finally blurted out:
    "Ok, Stop the Bus because I need to get off, this is now beginning to hurt, screw the test." He felt really bad and sighed, and kept apologizing as the nurses were dabbing alcohol swabs and band-aids all over my arms and lower wrists..Why you might ask? Because I was bleeding everywhere...And yet they couldn't find a vein..Go Figure...
    Dr. Feelgood- "Ladies, ahhh I feel so bad to not have been able to get anything, she looks like she has been through a war zone, don't charge her for anything- let's get her cleaned up and just give her the prescription to start and we can monitor her..."
    Darn skippy..I am not paying for a cent up in this joint! Is what I said in my head... By the time Diva came by last night- I showed her my arms.... She was like- "Girl what did you do?"
    "Duh, I didn't do anything, it was done at the Fat doctor!" People, I kid you not, by nights end my arms and wrists looked like I was a clumsy heroin addict.. I still have some visible blown vein track marks skidding on my arm- if I had a mattel car- you could use my arm as the Indy 500....
    Other than that- I am going to do my best to have a FAB weekend, and yes..I will not go by without snapping some photos to share with you all... Time for me to start living again.
    PS.... your funny thought for the day is presented by Diva from last nights conversation-
    Diva- "Ok, I am not gay or anything, but you have some pretty toes."
    That people cracked me the hell up.