People! I am getting ready to inspire you all on just how my interview went on yesterday. First of all- let me back up and just let you all know- that I at times can talk major shit. It's a given. It's a part of my personality. However- I can also be on the serious side and so into the intellectual stigmata of it all- that you would become so enthralled that you might even bust a nut. Seriously! So- now that we have that out of the way- let us proceed. First of all, there seems to be a random market of bait and hook going on in the job market lately. I have been in the job market for a long time, so if something is not making me giddy upon an interview I leave. Simple as that. Which is what happened on yesterday....

You see, upon my interview I asked those pertinent questions and wrote them down as I was speaking to the recruiter. I scoured the internet and did my research on the company and was quite impressed. On yesterday I called to ensure that my appointment time was still on the schedule- gathered directions a day before and drove it to ensure that I knew where I was going and what not. I did it all my friends...and yet on yesterday it was a totally different ball game.

First of all I rolled up on this joint and the first thing I noticed was the name of the company. Not only was it the name of a different company- BUT they had used a bigger companies name to get people in the door. So- I get inside and take a look at my surroundings. Now people..This is how Callie rolls and you all need to take note- because I am saving you all alot of time and gas. When I walked inside the building, not only were the walls plastered in posters of "Why you should do sales for us" but it was in need of a good scrub. I mean a Pine Sol, douse with bleach scrub. Second of all, when the admin. greets you and she looks like she just rolled out of her trailor and you yourself are looking top notch professional to where you can give her a good bath and grooming lesson- then Houston you got more than a problem. You got a situation of epic proportions. As she greeted me and gave me my little packet of information, I whispered kindly to her: "The position you called me about, is it for sales?"

Now look people. I have no issues with sales. In fact I worked in a large retail market where I sold their products at hundreds to thousands of dollars at a time. Yes. I can. and did. But in order for me to do that I have to genuinely believe in a product and use it, and build a portfolio of sorts on it. However, with sales there are also certain dynamics that come into play..One of those being-"lying", and of course the ball buster of threats in order to hit commision and what not. I do not need nor do I wish to engage in that kind of drama. Onward! So- "Ms. I just got up this morning", tells me: "Well, there is some sales to it, BUT your resume' is so wonderful please stay and listen to what the Regional Manager has to say it may benefit you!" So- I took it upon myself to sit lightly on a chair, and wait along with 3 other people. "35 minutes late for the meeting to start later" the RM comes out and talks about how she is sorry, lost track..whatever. She then leads us into this room that looks like a closet and proceeds to tell us about who she is and all that song and dance. While she is doing this I have my pad out and I am taking notes. She seemed impressed because she kept tapping me on my arm or shoulder whenever she wanted or felt she needed an extra voice or self reliant praise or what not. But little did she know- Callie was getting ready to up the ante and show her just who she called in on the sly.

So by now- I have sat through a so called flow chart on becoming a sales rep, how the commission works, and how to make over 136,000.00 a year. I am tired, I am hungry, and if anything pissed that I was lied too. So- before winding down, she flips her little flow chart screen and starts asking these questions.

"These are a few of the trips that are offered to our top sales people!"

"Have any of you been to Mexico?"

me- "yes"

"What about Vegas?"

me- "yes

"What about Jamaica?"

me- "yes"

"My my!- you seem to travel alot! But how would you like to make this kind of money and travel each year? Where can you find a job that can provide this much money and benefits other than right here?"

and we are all silent. and she taps me on my shoulder and says: "Ms? Tell me something are you ready to be on my team? Where else can you make this amount of money and have these kind of benefits?"

and I look at her and say in front of everyone- "Honestly?"

and she says- "But of course because we pride ourselves on honesty, and integrity!"

and I look at her and say :"Prostitution"....yes people I did.. and I even elaborated to the gasps and snickers and perhaps a fainting blow farting moment on behalf of the RManager.... and I gave her the Callie spill and definition of what I meant.

"You see Maam, if your a high class prostitute, you don't need a pimp. You can schedule your own appointments and command the sale according to what the client is wanting, and what you can offer. Further more, you also can command the logistics and you can work in a few extra benefits yourself, whether it be a shopping spree, or a trip to Greece. No Maam, I am not interested in working for you. I can do more on my own as a self sufficient whore."

and with that people, I grabbed my shit and rolled to the laughter of the 2 young ladies that wanted to leave but felt bad for up and walking out, to the I'm sure speechless rep. whose ass I just cashed in from making a buck off of me.

And people, no I am not this ruthless when it comes to dealing with people in general. However when I find out that I am chess piece on the playing board, you better believe I can become tenacious and aggresive enough to read you, write you, and erase you as I call check fucking mate! As all of you should be when dealing with this kind of tackiness in searching for a job. People, don't let the game play you, you play the game! Know your worth and have the highest bidder pay for your services. Where one may not agree- someone else will.

And that.... THAT is my story, and I am sticking to it!

~c

PS. Phat Edit Addition:

Thank you to my anonymous emailer that sent me this link and info which basically backs up my story and claim about this a-holes. check it yo! just click on the name: