Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
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Friday, November 10, 2006It's Friday You Blogger Addicted Pimps and Ho's! I am thrilled because momma has hit the limit
this week..So much so I may have to gulp one of those Guinesses that I have had hiding in my fridge for the past month.....
Ok- so let's get to the nitty-gritty dirt of the day shall we? I rode to work this morning listening to the radio and it was all about Brittany and Kevin... Someone...please explain to me how this man thinks he is going to take care of her kids, when he cant even take care of his other two? Kevin, listen to momma for a moment ok? Stop trying to sit at home shopping- and go back to dancing...Shar called and said you still owe her child support that you have never ever bothered to pay....Justin Timberlake called and said he wants his Rolex back that he lent you for your non sold out concert that went bust. Guess you better start groveling and ask Britt to hire you back as one of the Fly Boy dancers..Or if that fails I am sure her ex Justin will need a dancer for his "Sexy Back" number...*skank* "Take it to the Bridge!"
MJ!!! You are finally coming out of hiding in hopes of showing us "Who's Bad"...Well I only have 2 words to say.. "GO...YOU..." Just keep in mind a few tips though MJ....
1. Leave the Jerry Curl, S Curl, Leisure Curl, and any other hair curl back in the day man...Weave is in!
2. Don't do the flying rocket ship thing... I would hate to think some angry parent is still pissed at you, and while you are floating above the crowd they pop a cap in the tank and down you will go.
3. Leather Jackets, Rhinestone Studded Gloves and Penny Loafers are a no no... We now prefer to see half dressed people prance on stage- especially at your rate of ticket scalping.
4. Bubbles, and any other specialty pets you may have confiscated from Never Land are non entry on International Flights.Don't give the po-po something else to add to your past rap sheet.
5. And finally...MJ.....Stay the hell out of the sleeping machines, and surgeons chairs for any more body modifications or reconstructive projects...Boo, you were all that back in the day when you were stalking Billie Jean...errrrr or is that the other way around? You were so beautiful with your pearly whites and that jerry curl superman forhead droplet when you posed with ET...Now you are becoming Mr. Potato Head with added options of using silly putty and play doh....Dude, don't let them jack you like a wax statue....Just cover your little pale skin up, and lube your lips with Burts Bees chapstick.....Call me if you need some more advice ok??? But listen, do not call me collect from the Middle East.. I don't have extra billions stashed like you do....Got it? Shaamon!
Whitney and Bobby...Bobby and Whitney....Whitney, gurl you look good now that you let the old New Edition Go...I am proud of you...Now you get back to singing and doing your thing..And Whitney, touch base with that little gay guy that you took a picture with at that mini mart when you went to buy a pack of smokes...Remember??? He sent it out to everyone and dogged you out about how bad you looked and how your breath smelled like ass...Email that queen and ask him, "Who smells like ass now?" Ps...instead of Mariah Carey, I would really thrill if you did BodyGuard part 2.... "Ohhhhh I wanna dance with somebody!"
And now....For the Friday Shout Outs!
Diva, Diva, Diva...you have a little pickle going on don't you? No Worries Mon....do what you have to do..It will all work out.
Swaff- I have not heard from you in a week...hope things are well...Let me know.
Twist......- all I can do is smile...Have a great one............
T- forget you! *Post Edit- I text T the other day and asked if she had plans for Thanksgiving..This was basically the conversation...*
Me- Hey, you have plans for Thanksgiving?
T- ummm not that I can think of why you cooking?
Me- sort of but yeah would you like to come over?
T- it depends....are you cooking a real turkey or are you serving Tofurkey?
Me- screw you T....and no...I was not cooking a Tofu turkey, I was ordering a real one.
T- alright...I will let you know...
T- if you and your guest want to dine on appetizers of spam and crackers, and your main meal consists of Peanut butter and jelly that is on you...Don't beg me for any leftover spinach dip or anything else got it? I got your Tofurkey.........heffer....*laughs*
Sheets......It has been decided, Diva, T and I are taking a road trip to your area to have a nice chat with your soon to be ex wife..First we have to stop at the Home Depot and pick up a few items we will need...you know...like a crowbar, some type of bondage devices to mobilize a person...things of that nature... I am driving, they are riding shot gun..Our schedules are clear, we have ATM cards and gas in the tank..Say The Word...*winks*
And to you others.....Have a grand weekend, and be safe.............