Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Thursday, November 09, 2006

    A courier walks in to deliver a package to me today...
    "Sign here" he quirps
    "Who is the package for?" I ask
    "I don't know, there is no name."
    "Then how do you know where it needs to go and who needs to sign for it?"
    "I don't know."
    I grab the parcel, and notice the ATTN TO section, with Lookey here- a name and a building number!....
    "Sir, this is the name of the person that is awaiting for this parcel, and you need to take it to this building number listed right here" I told him with a smile....As he walked off I muttered to myself, "How in the hell can he get paid good money to deliver stuff and he can't deliver because he can't read..I am in the wrong profession...Jackass, here's your sign."

    I get a call.... and these I must tell you are the highlight of my day- with the exception of the guy that just dropped off flowers for someone and told me I was pretty and brightened his day... *Thank you Lord, for the glow from the colon cleanse I just tortured myself through!*

    "Thank you for calling __________________ How May I direct your call?" *Insert Cheerleader greeting here*
    "Yes, I am calling about my bill, and I don't want to talk to another customer service rep, because they cant help me, they read from scripts and say the same thing, I want to speak to a manager, this is ridiculous..."
    *Insert Interruption by me right here*
    "Sir, first of all I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience, and please do not take offense to what I am getting ready to say, but it helps me to understand exactly what your needs are, so I can assist you alright?"
    "Ok, go ahead Maam..."
    "Now, you spoke with someone in customer service about your bill correct?"
    "And they were not able to help you and now you wish to speak to a supervisor correct?"
    "No..a manager can't help me because they all read a script. I want to speak to who is in charge not another customer service rep!"
    *Insert Dr. Phil with a hint of sugary Dr. Ruth here*
    "Sir, excuse me for asking, but how is your problem to be resolved if you do not ask to speak to a manager or Supervisor on duty? They are above the reps you have been speaking to, and can over ride whatever issues you are having...Would you like for me to personally get one on the line for you?"
    "I am sorry Maam, I did not think of that, yes please thank you!"

    *Instert muttering here as I am transferring his call- Dude, it isn't even 10 am yet, I haven't had my pill, and I am still sore and hungry.*

    And Last but not the final- As this goes on all day-
    "Thank you for calling ___________________ How may I direct your call?"
    "Thank you for calling ___________________ How may I direct your call?"
    "Hello? how may I assist you?"
    "Oh Christ! I am so sorry I thought you were a machine- you are a live person right?"
    "God Bless you my child, yes I am a live person Sir, how may I direct your call?"
    *insert his embarrassment laugh here along with mine.*

    In relation to yesterdays Sex Question *which by the way you guys suck.....* The question or poll rather was- 90% of women do or have done this/what during SEX?* Why you guys send me emails is beyond me, but I got 5 emails from guys telling me the same thing... Women Fart... First of all I beg to differ....Women do not Fart we queef.... Second of all you all were wrong.. The answer was *SLEEP*.....which I find hard to believe, because if it is that boring, I am pushing you off of me, or faking a great orgasm, just to get you finished so I can roll over and perhaps never speak to you again for boring me and wasting my time...... So to all of you ballers out there...Here is your sign....

    VIAGRA and a BOOK on HOW to Rock her World so She doesn't nod on you during SEX.