Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
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Thursday, September 06, 2007
Thursday! ....Today. Is. Thursday. I am ready for the freakin weekend... People just seem to annoy me this week.. Not you all because at least you all some class and common sense.. I am talking about the people that have nothing better to do than to come up to you, and ask you stupid stuff all day long, and then wonder why I sit there staring for a moment before responding....
"Hello??? Here is your sign!" "I am staring at you because my flesh wants to confirm how much of a jackass you really are- but I am learning how to deal with it, because after all, you are a jackass and will still be one once you walk away from my desk!"
Example? Well sure..Lemme dig in my box of tricks and just fling something to you all!
1. The man that cannot read the sign... "NO SOLICITING"....In walks Mr. Man in his suit and tie with a briefcase... He wants to apply for a job. I politely tell him- Sir, unfortunately you will need to apply online- we do not accept resume's in this manner..... Naturally perhaps the only thing he heard was: Yes I can accept it.... So he continues to thrust it at me with questions.
Well at whose attention can I give this too?
Well, can I get a fax number?
Can I have a personal email address ?
And then the ultimate of all questions: Well I have already gone online and noticed the position still there, can you tell me who is the Hiring Manager so I can send it to them via mail?
"Jackass, it is time for you to leave- now..." I wanted to say that...I felt the little ticker going off in my heart and in my head..and yet I managed to stare at him- with a smile...No words exchanged..Just...A..Stare...and a smile....... Needless to say he got the hint and thanked me and walked off.. I do believe I heard him mutter and call me a bitch.... In fact I am sure he did so I decided to give him a few birthday gifts on the way out..I called the other buildings on the property, gave his description and told them he was tresspassing in the event he showed up trying to pass off his resume'. Sure enough...He decided to do just that...Only he was met with *this bitches* security officer who gladly escorted him off the premises...
2.Oh yeah! And the ones that call or come in for an Interview- "Hi I have an interview at such and such a time...Only I do not know where to go...." ok...no problem...Who are you here to meet? "Ummmmmm...Ahhhhhh.....Well, I cannot recall that either....Ahhhhh...Ummmmmm..." Ok...this is not really a big problem. I can try to requestion this for another Hint.... What position did you apply for? "Ummmmm...Ahhhhhh....It was set up for me...."............Jackass...How in the heck do you show up - now probably late for an interview and not know anything? So you know what happens now? You have before you a panic stricken applicant who is as bright as the sun
on a cloudy day, and me trying to play a board game with them reality version wise. Never a dull moment people..Never.....Did I ever find who she needed? Sure..Albeit 15 minutes later...But yes I did.....
3.And lest I forget to mention.....My good friends at Dunkin Donuts...I go in to get a white hot chocolate....Medium...I pay for it, and wait.....and wait.....and wait.....Ummmm..let me rethink this for a moment.. I walked in and there was no one in line...I am still standing here and 300 people have all come in and received their cups of joe and decorated sprinkled cakes, and I am still standing here...What gives yo? So I go back to the counter and see the gentleman that I gave my order to, as well as my money...HE is now working in the drive through....So..I flag his ass down and as nice as I can I say: "Excuse me, Sir?! I have been waiting now for about 15 minutes for my white hot chocolate..I still have yet received it-may I have it now?" He looks at me and does this: "Oh Snaps!" Look and says... "Maam. I am sorry, we do not have any white hot chocolate." Ok...So when were you going to tell me.....I just told him to give me my money back and left..So here I am now...pouting. sulking.cramping. and flooding like the mighty river I am of the crimson tide from being on the rag- with no white hot chocolate....no love....
Oh and for your guys that just went ewwwww- when I mentioned I was on the rag. Get over it. It's life. by the time you get to know me, you will have earned a MANs MONTHLY KNOWLEDGE AWARD....You will learn by me and others on this board how to walk proudly in your Manliness to go into any store- head straight for the personal hygiene section and just rattle off:
"Honey needs the super plus tampons, and the night time slender pads with wings, Summers Eve unscented wash cloths, 1 bag of oreos, 3 pounds of dark chocolate, and a partridge in a pear tree."
Smile you handsome men of today! And with that- this chica is outta here!