Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Thursday, December 13, 2007

    Please ladies and gentleman. No pushing.... This was the episode at my place late last night right in the middle of watching the Second Season DVD of Ugly Betty *which by the way people is my favorite* ....when suddenly the following conversation ensued....
    My son- "Mom, something smells like it's burning."
    I paused the movie and did the little gopher alert stance trying my super sensitive nostril sniffers.... I did smell a little smoke and got up to check the oven and the stove- *because the other night I made brownies and accidentally left the stove on with the already done brownies still in the oven..yeah get the point.* Everything was off and I could not find the source so....... We proceeded to watch more of Betty....and then it kind of reeled from there....
    My son- "Oh Snaps! Mom! the tree is on fire!"
    It wasn't really on fire you see.... Long ago at a day care, my son was being rushed out of the building due to a kitchen fire. It scarred him....It got to a point that when he and I went to Tokyo's Japanese steak house one time- that when the chef did like this onion volcano flambe' demo my son went apeshit and jumped out of his seat and ran to the lounge area. Heck he just got back in the mode after watching a few Chris Angel Shows along side with a few JackAss videos and now he is becoming a pyro when it comes to making a Christmas fire in the fireplace.
    Alas, the tree was not on fire, but kinda smokey. It appears maybe it was a bad socket or something...maybe bad bulbs..I got them at the dollar tree instead of Home Depot. and well...my little pink tree is kinda burnt on the edges, with a few crispy flamingos and a singed penguin on a surfboard.... But people! I am the gravy on the mashed potatoes! All I did was unplug the smoking villain and threw the tree with ornaments outside on the backporch. Be prepared for anything yo!
    In other news of the wild... USPS sucks major butthole! And for those of you that do not comprehend the acronym...USPS= United States Postal Service. Angie my wahine from da islands- sent moi.. *and I did shed a tear* a Christmas gift people....!!!! I was touched...but guess what....???????? Since I was not home to sign for it, they took it back to the Post Office. Now THIS is where stupidity falls in.... No one...NO ONE at the Post Office location where this delivery was logged back in and returned can be found. I kid you the hell not! I have been on the phone every 2 days speaking to man in charge asking for info. and it's the same... *Eeyore voice insert here people* "well, I just don't have an answer. We show where it was delivered and brought back, we turned this place upside down and cannot locate it, we do not even show where it was sent back to the sender."
    Ok...lemme break this down to all of you how I replied back in Mary Poppins tone...
    "Sir, I understand that with the Holiday season things can get misplaced, perhaps even overlooked. However, considering that you have the same confirmation info that I have, do you not think that you have a thief in your department?"
    Speechless..was.He..... So...people....be on guard with that crap this year. It's a shame shame shame......
    My coffee high is running low! Now I need to come up with a plan B for Holiday Decor...any ideas?