Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007 People, momma is having a day of issues I tell you, so if *anyone* is a drinker and having some thing strong right about now or tonight to just kill the pain- please have a sip for me.. Just lift up your glass and make a toast- "Heres to Callie, the high class whore on the net that I have befriended..... May she feel better and kick someones azz pronto so she can smile again! Drink Up!"Then people- after it is said and done...... BAYBEEEEeeeeeeeeeee........It is *balls to the wall* Ok....Valentines is coming up.... I used to royally hate that day all.... I would playa hate *really* bad looking at all those skanks while in high school lugging 50 vases of roses in every color of the rainbow spectrum, while also lugging teddy bears and freakin chocolate... And don't think for one moment they really *loved* those guys... NO..It was a competition of who got the most calls to the principles office to pick shit up....Therefore I established my own Valentine ritual-  Don't hate! You know you probably thought of the same thing, I just have the balls to put it out there! I would buy me things all of the time....EXCEPT roses....I think that is the worst waste of money on a flower people..... Have you timed the life expectancy of those fragile flowers??? If you have bad breath and talk to it or blow on it, the next day that $300.00 pack of flowers will be black and crumbly! Funk That Noize! lather momma in gift cards! At least I could get something I like... and your money will not go to waste........ Oh......but ya know deep down I am this-  Why is it men- do not believe in poems and stuff anymore??? Well not all men- and I am not bashing really I am not...Because for all I know, it could be the women that are giving guys a hard time about that- and ladies...WE cannot do that or be that way to our men....But the way to my heart is a poem- or a story written just for me.... That is the true spirit of V-Day..... *sounds like a disease that way doesnt it?* UPDATE ON THE FANTASY BOYFRIEND LIST- That Guy- as you can see has not been around lately.... Perhaps he got intimidated by the strap on remark- or maybe the *depends* remark...I dunno...but "Hey...Boo....you still alright by me" Djimon H....is no longer on my list.. I had to cut him down because he thinks now that he is a big time movie star, he doesn't owe the non famous women anything....Damn him...and just as my hormones were getting regulated to birth his kids..... LL Cool J- you are still in my book, but a sister is still mad for having you show up here and not call me to let me know... Yeah..Momma says knock you out, but I wont go that route... FIO- is off of my blog roll as of 5pm CST people...perhaps it was a language issue, but damn that..I put babel fish on my blog, he could have at least taken a moment to say- Hola mamacita! Go head Fio..It's all good...Momma didnt even break out the red leather Ms. Clause outfit this year. You are pardoned... In other words all- my list is damn short now.......... I would not make it on the dating scene I tell you.....I think men are scared of me.... And gosh forbid I sign up for those dating things again... Hence how I got the name *Hooker* from Anne and Jimmy.... SHE talked me into signing up for the phone thing- where women are free..You call and place an ad or *introduction* about yourself- or whatever.... And men would scroll and listen and if they like you they leave you a message... Well, out of the many that left Ad's I really enjoyed talking to 5 of them often. And after a lengthy bit of time we exchanged phone numbers..Well I was getting calls all of the time, and Annes daughter asked if I was a Hooker..so...the name just stuck.... But you know what???? Oh my gosh- if you ever go this route, exchange photos some how...Because- Oh dear gosh Momma ended up in public with some fucked up men! There was Jabba the Hut that drove up to the fancy eating place in a corvette that he knew his azz should not have been in...I at first thought it was pimped out into a low rider, until he got out of the car and the shit raised back up to it's usual height...... I faked a head ache and bailed after the appetizer.... Then there was the California dreamer...He was the boyish - clean cut looking type which was all fine and well UNTIL....Sweet Jesus- He didnt tell me he had something like a stunt growth in limbs or something..I mean he could have told me by phone- hey I have a slight deformity..no problem.. I would have been prepared..But we met at a bookstore for coffee and he came limping along with one shoe bigger than the other, and one of his arms were longer than the other, and Shit....I didnt know if I was to cuss him out or just ask..so I didnt say much of anything down that road.... And last but not least......Oh my..... There was Grizzly Adams in the flesh... MEN....if you are not used to dining out at the upper diners, then admit that and we women can rearrange our outfits.... I am sitting at the bar at Ruth Chris Steakhouse with a glass of wine, and here comes Grizzly Adams all decked out in blue jeans with a hole, a muscrat hat and a stench of deer hunting urine as his base cologne...Momma politely excused herself and never went back! Funk that noize.. Oh but I was polite...I gave a waitor a note to give to him telling him that I was ill, and felt it inappropiate for me to vomit in public... In other words people..Don't do it..Learn from Mommas mistakes... I am sticking to the grocery dating from now on.. At least you can see them, and converse over the fruit or something to break the ice.....Damn that phone and computor dating.....Skanks.... love -me |
