People! It is that time of the year again and this is why I do not go out much spring and summer unless I am going out of town. It is because of those flying bastards called Cockroaches...Now- I beg to differ and unless you can sway my thought process I still- do not...understand the verbiage of roaches....

Dang it- Here in the south there seems to be a variety. Cockroaches, Waterbugs, Palmetto Bugs..am I missin something???? No! They are roaches! plain and simple. and they scare me shitless people..Truly...They sneak in and fly into your homes when you least expect it...Which is why I do not go out after dark nor do I open my doors. I kid you not...I just yell to my sons friends, "Climb the Balcony" or I stand close to the door and let them in as I slam the door as quick as I can which has involved someones ankle or a toe a time or two.... Yes! I am deathly terrified of them....... I was in a deep sleep one night and felt something crawling on my head and i woke up and turned on the light and stood there with a shoe in my hand waiting. I be damned if that thing did not Rambo style me and flew past me into the ceiling fan. Needless to say there was no fan left by nights end. I ripped it out of the ceiling kind of in order to kill the cock. I did..but at a cost...... I am now a certifiable bug doctor. I go to those Do It Yourselfers and walk in empty handed only to walk out looking like I am going to war. Face mask and all! carrying tons of stuff with cross bones on them.

Last night as I was taking a long awaited bath- I sat in my tub inhaling my eucalyptus with my eyes closed and I heard something.....I opened my eyes and waited to hear it again and there it was! A big bug with all these legs clinging to my towel rack, and people........*shakes mah head*....I was so terrified I started my own jacuzzi club from farting so much...I farted bubbles in copious amounts for sure seeing this thing and just freaked! I jumped out of the tub and stood there in the buff with a pair of panties to swat it to death. And then it dawned on me that it would cling to those so I opted for a bottle of pine sol that I had under my sink in a spray bottle. I sprayed and sprayed until it fell off the towel and just lied there twitching. It was dying a horrid death as it's legs one by one started to give out..And I am standing over it still spraying shouting my thoughts to it. "Die you bastard!" "Trying to sneak in on me and my bath time!" I literally stood there counting the minutes until I realized it was dead...I then used a half a roll of Bounty paper towels to pick it up and flushed him down the toilet.

My bath water was cold.I was to edgy to get back in and reheat. So I just went for a new towel and got dressed. I was on edge the rest of the night people. My son came home from trying to learn to play basketball- to a home filled with bleach, and some other stuff I got at that Bug store. He walked in and asked if I was ok and I had to explain the dilemma that momma had to endure. And of course I gave him the spring and summer door speech. He just laughed...I don't know why...This is serious business!

Just for thought though, I think it is funny how "cock" roaches are synonymous with men since they are known as or by their cocks. I'm jus sayin yo.