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I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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Thursday, January 10, 2013

I am currently in this moment watching Sex & The City- and that Samantha Kiiiills me.. after her day at the spa she figured she would wind up the rest of her day by using her favorite vibrator only..it ran out of juice so she beats it on the table only to get a slight buzz and then it stops. Hahaha.. Been there myself I tell you. Which brings me to the point of just talking to you as a woman. Well I have always done that- but damn we women are so filled with so many wires and not so many connections and we just find ourselves plugging into whatever outlet we have available until a complete blow out.

I have found myself in this situation on a few occasions. It isn't that I had a major meltdown from time to time, but there have been times where I was just so overwhelmed or overloaded that I curl up into a ball and just cry. I mean cry. I have not had one of those kind of cries since November 2011 when I got the call from Michael's girlfriend informing me of his death. It was a moment of heart wrenching, dry heaves as I listened to her tell me how he died and then being faced with the thoughts of "I just spoke with him"....... 6 months or so later, I cried again as I let go. I kept his number in my phone just to listen to his voice message. I let go knowing, that he was at peace when we last spoke. He wasn't angry anymore. He apologized for how he treated me, he wished me happiness and wished for me the kind of love that he was not able to give me.

So here I am now in the year 2013. I am still waiting for that wish to come true. I am waiting for that moment. During that moment of waiting, I am continuously laughing. Continuously loving me. Laughter from deep within. Laughing when I don't feel like it, Laughing to not be afraid of the unknown, Laughing because it gives me strength to keep moving. Talk about steppin on a pop top. Jimmy Buffet had one thing right- Margaritaville is great with me from time to time with a bowl of chips and salsa. I find laughing out loud from a margarita moment- priceless.

Keep on laughing.