Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Thursday, August 30, 2007

    Hello...I am Callie and I am once again *slinging your cuteness with some garb of our world* What better way and or place than to come here and be your own News person??? Check this out- Katie Couric aint got nuttin on me!

    Cars smash German man’s home for 10th time
    ‘We're living in a time bomb,’ says homeowner after truck hits living room
    Reuters News:
    Updated: 2 hours, 52 minutes ago
    BERLIN - A German man said on Thursday he feared he may have built his own tomb after a vehicle plowed into his house for the 10th time.
    *Mr. Man, you and your wife need to just move..You spend more money on rebuilding your house then you do living in it. Not to mention you are beginning to pardon my french "lookalikajackass"..I mean...what happens at your next tupperware dinner party- all of a sudden you got a car parked at your dining room table trying to compete for the centerpiece? Just get your little broken dishes and whatever and move...Away from everyone with a vehicle...Something....*

    Man with no legs and his friend cited for DUI
    Police: Wisc. amputee steered while buddy worked the pedals
    Updated: 4:50 p.m. ET Aug 29, 2007
    ABBOTSFORD, Wis. - Police in Wisconsin have cited a legless man and his friend on a drunken driving charge, saying the amputee was at the wheel while his friend worked the pedals.
    It was the third and second such arrests for the men, respectively.
    *I think I blew a fart on this one people from laughing..How the Hell you gonna try and do a mad getaway from the liquor store while yelling to the person between your legs...STOP! Now Go! Now Stop! Now Go! Oh my goodness.."wipes a tear" Look...you two....Just call a cab from now on to make your booze runs before someone get's hurt......Yo! this image in my head is a funny one right about now.*

    Next!.................No stop...Now Go.........hehehehe

    Snakes on planes, Snake Eating...Snakes Snakes and More Snakes yo. What the hell???

    Man Bites Head off Snake
    Updated: 5:57 p.m. ET Aug 24, 2007
    BELFAST, Northern Ireland - A Northern Ireland man bit off the head of his girlfriend’s pet snake during a fight and remarked that it “tasted lovely,” lawyers testified Friday.

    Snake on a plane, riding shotgun
    BROOKHAVEN, Miss. - It was no movie moment when a physician, flying himself across Mississippi in a one-seat plane, discovered a stowaway — a gray rat snake.
    Dr. Ed Carruth discovered the snake-on-a-plane when it began “licking” his arm Thursday, he told The Daily Leader of Brookhaven.
    “I’ve been flying planes for 50 years and over 14,000 hours, and this is the most unusual in-flight emergency I’ve encountered,” he said. *I bet he didn't say much, but pooped his pants, and cursed...I bet he also did some Tae-bo punches and kicks also instead of the *aerobatics* he stated he used to try and rid the snake....CLASSIC*

    Wayward emu visits Wal-Mart
    Workers corral ‘Myron’ with shopping carts
    Employees of a Wal Mart SuperCenter used shopping carts to corral a wayward emu outside the store Monday about 6 a.m., West Bend police said.
    A manager fed the emu grapes and apples in an attempt to calm the bird inside the makeshift enclosure. *Attention Shoppers, please head for our greatest special of the day- MYRON the EMU! Not only is he alive, and loves grapes and apples- but prices are falling fast for this once in a lifetime bargain of our Pet Section pets! poor Myron, he thought he was running free only to be jailed by people playing buggy bumpers into keeping him locked in. With this story though Myron was happily taken home by the owner..Who errrr also had to wrassle up his kin folk that were running away to freedom with him.....ya think they got hold of what may happen to them when someone from a grocery store enquired about Emu steaks?*

    and Last but not least!

    Helmsley leaves her dog $12 million in trust
    'Trouble' is top dog; 2 of her 4 grandkids get nothing; billions go to charity
    NEW YORK -Leona Helmsleys dog will continue to live an opulent life, and then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. But two of Helmsley’s grandchildren got nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire’s estate.
    Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court. *Peaple....I am "still" at a loss for words on this one..I mean..what does a dog do with 12mill? Does whoever taking care of this dog have an accountant who views each expenditure? What do you tell these other 2 grand kids? Oh- I am sorry but grandma gave the money to other people but most of it to Trouble. 12mill people...... Sad just sad..I can't even muster anything funny or snappy to say about this incident. I see it as a sad story of how money just ruined peoples lives......

    Oh but I guess I can tell you about my first time experience going to a funeral that was held in a mausoleaum... First of all- I was the only *ethnic* person at this funeral...Ok so I invited myself so I could eat at the luncheon afterwards...big deal..sue me... Just kidding...geez, don't get your knickers in a twist. *winks* actually, it was someone I knew from my church, and well, I had never been to a caucasion funeral so I asked ahead of time what to expect... Don't laugh! There is NO SHAME when I ask a question...because I really do want to know because people are different... Anyways- I was led in this building by the hand of one of my lil senior citizens who is a tad...ummmmm....*outspoken* who announced to everyone that it was cold- very cold- and smelled like an orange grove. Yeah well she was right. The place was freezing, and I guess to detour people from feeling sad- they spritzed alot of orange scents through the vents...Not only that but it was just.........cold.....During the service- everyone was crying...I mean..hysterical...The minister was boring as all get out and kept this same monotone.....about 30 minutes in this I respectively leaned over to my lil grandma friend and politely asked,

    "grandma, is there a choir that will be singing or anything?"
    her response.....

    "Baby the only choir that sings today will be the Angels above- unless all these dead people that we are sitting around climb out of these marble walls, and I won't be sitting here with you at that point."

    Did I mention that she was also hard of hearing and we were now the spectacle?

    have a great one all,