Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Monday, January 28, 2008

    It amazes me how people go to school to become Chefs and think they can just charge people outta the ass for these meals that look more like an art exhibit than food. Case in point. I get this email late Saturday informing me that I have a meeting with a social group that I am a part of at this Ritzy like joint in Mid Town Atlanta. Ok....no worries.....

    I do have to admit that the decor and landscaping of this place was really nice- and when walking in your captivated by Jazz music on the overheard speaker, and the swankness of the place. In other words, instead of a fork and spoon on the table- you get a table dressed in white linen, with overturned glasses and gobs of silverware. I get to my table and start to chit chat with a few people of my little club and this is where my story really takes off. First I am handed this ginormous menu. The *Brunch Menu* at that! Well....Damn! I couldn't understand all the little high tech dining gibberish so I ordered the one thing I could recognize-

    Chicken and Waffles people! Would you have guessed anything else of me? First of all while everyone else was sipping on 10.00 half a glass of orange juice and champaigne *those are called Mimosas- a bitch knew that after her first cruise *winks* but...to be paying 10.00 for a half glass of mostly juice I didn't see it happening so I opted for water. Besides I was not enthused with their drinks anyways. Anyways, my little short and thin waitor shows up and asks "What would the lady care for?"

    I politely responded all lady like" Yes, May I please have the Chicken and Waffles with a side order of Tabasco?"..... He looks at me and says in a whisper like tone- "I am sorry, we do not have the bottles for your table but I can bring it to you in a small cup?" Okie dokie joe. That'll do....and I waited...and waited...and waited....1 hour people! One hour it took for them to stir the freakin batter and pour it in a waffle maker.. 1 hour for them to dip my chicken and fry it in some canola oil or whatever chefs use....1 hour... I downed a whole pitcher of ice water, chatted amongst people that had their food- and stared at some picture trying to figure out what it was....and then...my food appeared.....Mr. waitor sets it down and I guess my face was a dead give away because he asked with his hands folded...

    "Maam, is there anything else you require?" and of course my response in a semi-hushed tone and a smile.... "Well, Sir...no disrespect but what is this?" and I am pointing to something that resembles home fries, but laced with lettuce......

    "Ahhhhh..." he says... "Those are home style potatos with Collard Greens"....I about shit my pants people. I kid you not.......First.....my waffle...was half of a waffle...2 squares that were no bigger than my palm. I counted a total of 3 strawberry halves for decoration...my chicken was half of a breast of chicken that was smaller than the waffles put together, and then they added 10 pieces of hard cut potatos slathered or rather delicately bathed by large leaves of half steamed collard greens........

    I just smiled and told him ok..and proceeded to eat... Oh they brought my syrup and hot sauce in those little silver plate dipping bowls. People...I finished it and was still hungry. I felt my little stomach do that roll-grumble- hey whats going on thing...and the poor guy beside me. He finished his little egg and toast with champaigne dish and he looked at me and said:

    "I think I am gonna have to make a Waffle House or Burger King run." So- you see? It was not just me...After the waitor came to clean up our dishes we sat and waited another 30 minutes for a check....Now.....guess how much my brunch was? 15.00 yo! I handed over my credit card and waited another 15 minutes to bring me my receipt. While waiting though I did a little head scratching while I was viewing the multiple Arts for sale...One in particular just had me stumped. I recognized the other paintings well. One was a family at a picnic eaiting Watermelon. The photo was called Watermelon. I could see that... the other was of couples in Paris at a cafe ..that was entitled: Cafe Au Paris...ok...I gathered that well....and the one that kept me staring was a large painting in black...With neon designs..I thought they were African Masks....and then I noticed the tag underneath.... "Ballet Slippers...price 2,450.00"............ Mr. Waffle House -Burger King man read me well - and he whispered- "Maybe it's one of those that you have to stand far away to see. are you gonna buy it?"

    I got home after that meeting and headed straight for the kitchen and cooked a fabulous organic meal I tell you.. My son walks in from playing soccer and says- "Ohhhhh Mom! That smells good and it's my favorite- but didnt you eat already for your meeting?" I just looked at him and responded dryly I dont eat alot of foo-foo food.... I then had to explain it to him....after that he looks at me and says:

    "Well, I am glad you didnt like your food cause then you wouldnt have come home and made beenie weenies!"

    yeah people! THAT right there is good chef cookin! and know what? That cost me 3.00 to make.