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Wednesday, January 02, 2008New Years Eve...Ok let me back up a few notches.... First I have to tell you about my shirt incident. and yes ~Angie~ this has got to be the biggest jinx yet. You see, I ordered this shirt from a reputable company to wear for the Sugar Bowl- ya know? Had to represent my team....Anyways- I ordered it on Friday, paid express to have it on Monday. Monday came and I am elated and giddy knowing that I was going to be sportin mah team on my chest. and then the inevitable..So- I call guess who?
UPS.....and ask them to trace my delivery as I had yet received it. And then the operator proceeds to tell me something until I burst out in this "You can't be serious" yell which then turned into an open floodgate of tears. My package was sitting in Atlanta, Ga. not 5 miles from my house at 3:44 am on December 30. The operator than proceeded to tell me, how sorry she was, and she did not understand why no one picked it up for delivery- and that she sees in the system where I paid additional for Next Business Day- but that the offices were closed for the remainder of that day and would be on New Years. I was at a loss of words. All I could do was cry. And yeah- I am sure some of you would be like- "It's just a shirt" right? Let me say this to you - had my ass been Donald Trump and I needed to close a contract deal for millions of dollars, I bet UPS, FED-EX, Climax, somebody ex would have jumped hoops to get it done. But because someone wanted to get off early- my package along with others I am sure- had to take it and just oh well it?
Funk. That. Noize.
UPS-I paid additional for a service, your phone system is stating they are guaranteeing deliveries an additional 90 minutes on New Years Eve beyond the norm, and your telling me- it's basically an oversight and nothing can be done? I don't think so....Ok....onward...So- I am just at this point at a loss, and my head is hurting, I had not eaten basically that day because I was so called fasting, and I did good until lunch time- in which I binged and ate a small slice of ham and cheese on wonder bread- and I am just done.....So- after my crying spill, and taking two aspirin *because I ran out of Goody Powders* I lay in my bed in the dark and needed to think....and then...I had a vision....
I jumped out of the bed, put my hair up grabbed my shoes and truck keys and hauled ass to the Ghetto Mall- WalMart! From there I found a black and green jersey and looked at it inside out trying to put together a Martha Stewart Creation. I then went to the arts and crafts section and contemplated adding some rhinestones or spell Hawaii on the jersey using iron on stencils, but then I opted out because I figured the lei would hide all that anyways.... Ohhhhhhh..the lei...I did not have the time nor did I want to handstring one- *I have done this many times, and it's alot of work* So- I just made one with a one two snap. In the Floral department, I found a garland of flowers in different colors and sizes. It was truly a picture perfect lei. 2 hours, 3 new bras, a camera, 6 panties, and a large fry and coke from McDonalds later, I got home, cut it linked with Dental Floss *minty flavor mind you* tied that bastard together and voila! a lei! I also bought a cool head bandanna that was black with skull cross bones. I wanted to make a statement.... *Warriors Bringin the Pain* all in all- that was the emergency outfit for the game. And yes..I am still pissed about my still waiting for my shirt. and before I forget....
UPS....You ask your clients "What Can Brown do for you?" well from my point of view right about now, you can suck my boobs...Both of them...Just kneel and insert those 38Ds and choke.
GAME DAY- I ran to the fancy ghetto mall- *Target' * and bought glass chalk in which I wrote on my truck windows all kinds of neat Aloha Cheerleader verbiage rooting for my team. I went to the sportsbar -settled in with my Guiness and a Cheeseburger and waited. At first I was maybe one of 7 people, but then as game time rolled on I became lost in the crowd but still stuck out among all the Georgia flags and uniformed attire. I was heckled alot....Some jack off even decided to taunt me by announcing that if my team lost I had to wear his Ga. attire and do the bark....... Well, I am true to my word and stood by my team and ended up holding jackasses hat to my chest *cause I was so not putting his hat on my head* and I stood in front of the bar and did a few woofs....All in the name of Aloha spirit. One guy did come up and hug me and told me that I had good team spirit and he felt bad for me because I was the only one rooting for another team. He gave me a hug. I got a photo. but alas, I gotta scan them all so be patient yo.
Needless to say we know how the game ended....And I was heartbroken... I left the bar at almost 1 am and got to my truck only to realize...my keys?! I couldn't find them...I searched high and low to discover... "I locked them in the truck..." So- here I am 6 glasses of Guiness later trying to decide how to get my keys and then another moment! Recall my truck window being smashed due to the Christmas Break In? A-ha....no more needs to be said.
THIS people- was my New Year.....No celebration really...Just me getting through another fiasco......2008 has to be an improvement yo!
Edit: Oh...I forgot another highlight..Recall the cheerleader verbiage all on my truck? I got up extra early this morning to revise the "We're kickin your ass" to something more "subtle"...only when I tried to wipe it off- it was then I realized it was 20 something freakin degrees, and the windows are iced.....Yeah...Go Team Go!