Who Is Callie?

I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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  • Monday, July 21, 2008

    You all are so sweet you know that? I need to win the lottery so I can fly you all out somewhere and we can just veg and hang know what I mean? OK- so I told you all that I was going to go get my piercing done right? Well I did. I GOT ER DUN people! The saddest part was that I didn't have anyone to share that moment with you know? So- I ended up texting Hope and her reply was of course a "WooHoo!" and then later on that night as we were chatting she closed her remarks by saying- "Have a good night "Holey"..Yeah- leave it to her to give me some kind of perverted title. So no worries Pele- it aint tha cooter that got the jewelry. I did in fact go with the belly button. I went to one place on Friday and was totally creeped out. Not only was this place all dark and dreary but so were the people. When I asked for some information, the guy said- "talk to our piercer she's right here." When I looked at her she then retorts- "What do you want to know?" Of course I smart ass kindly replied back- "Well since I have never done this, I would like to know the beginning to end." She didn't even look at me- she was too busy drawing a design and talking to me at the same time- and then she said the magic phrase of why I got the hell out- "I can't do anything anyways because the Health Department doesnt think my stuff is clean- so I have to wait for another report. They basically took my money and ran- assholes." I said thanks and walked out. Briskly people. I could have set my own ass on fire walking out of there so fast.

    Needless to say I ended up going to a place called - In The Flesh Tattoo and people- they rawk! TIM is a sweetheart and he is the one that did my piercing. I mentioned to him while I was waiting that I was scared as shit. Which I was. It isn't everyday that I am begging for someone to stab a needle in my body and put a fish hook through me for decoration. He told me not to worry, and he was awesome. I laid on that table and carried on a conversation with him that lasted but only 3 minutes or so and he was finished! I walked out with a barbell in my belly button and a smile thinking that was cool. I was fine...UP until I went to see Batman- which by the way lasted almost 3 hours- and then I felt the little pain hitting me. Nothing major. On a scale of 1-10 ten being nearly dead from pain- I was at a 2. So- I went home and made a phone call and was told to take some aspirin and I would be fine. It was common. And I was fine. and now- I am good to go. So much so- I will attempt to do at least 30 minutes of racquetball- cuz people- I am jonesin to play. I didn't play Saturday or Sunday and I ate like a mofo on Saturday and need to keep my metabolism up. So- yeah me!

    Yo- recommended movies- Wanted, Batman- The Dark Knight and The Bucket List- by the time the Bucket List was over I was crying major snot bubbles. It is really good.

    I did promise you all a little bit of the So you Think you Can Dance auditions at that club didn't I ? Ok. so it wasn't an audition. But dammit people- I would pay a cover price just to sit there and watch people. Life for example- I shall name her -"Tic"....this lady was not only having flashbacks of trying to be a solid gold dancer- but I think her outfit proved her right. Not only did she don the gold spandex hot pants, but she also had the little headband thing going, and freakin leggies people. She was a 70's star! I was waiting for Kool and the Kang to jump out of her pants. This visual was something similar to the Seinfeld episode of Elaine dancing. EXCEPT she didn't do that little donkey kick. This heffer did more of a chuck berry twist- and "tic" jerk movements. She did this dance not only drunk, but with her eyes closed. She was feelin something people. I don't know if it was the Music or not. Yo go girl! This Buds for you- "Ms.Shinypantschuckberryticmovin dancer"

    And let me not forgot the gentleman whom I named- "Brooks and Dunn and Don't." You see- this young man was all but doing his best to impress his date. He was even dressed for occassion in his Larry the Cable Guy shirt and jeans, and John Deere Cap. He may have had some chew going on also in his mouth, but I just rather not see that much as that would have had me hurling chucks all over the floor. Ahem- anywho- Mr. Man was being hella berated by his date who was mad that he couldn't salsa, mambo, anything latin. She was yelling at him and screaming "Watch how they do it! Copy the moves! No no your doing it wrong!" For all that is holy this man had enough and grabs her by the shoulders and yells back at her" I aint furkin spanish! I caint do that shit!" and he walks off- leaving Ms. Daisy Dukes to her own devices. Poor him...it was funny though. I gotta tell ya.

    Also- regardless of where you go there is always a female to female humper doo which takes place on the floor. These two I guess were audtioning for some kind of reality show and figured they would get the part by humping each other and feelin up mass quantities of boobage and ass while trying to dip baby dip at the same time. My motto...Regardless of who you are- you can tell how people are in bed by the way they dance. If they totally suck at dancing for lack of rhythm- I rest my case.

    and yo peeps. the rest is history. ala-cart mojito style comprende'? I reckon I will take my butt home now- I am beginning to get a tad agitated after working 9 hours and sitting most of the day. Holla at me- and DAZD- I lurve you back papi! *muuuwaaaahhhh*

    ~slingin you deuces I am "CALLIE"