Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Friday, September 29, 2006 It's Friday Finally All!
ShoutOuts! Extra Edit- I have no idea why the blogs have shifted. Help me out Blogger! callie rocked you at8:55 AM 1 Comments: 
Thursday, September 28, 2006 What Up Yo!It's me again. I know, you dont have to bow and kiss my feet or anything..... Today I am honored and graced by my friend "T" who is here to enlighten and school a virgin mind like mine into a few subjects that I have encountered.... First of all she was kind enough to show me a VERY nice 50.00 Bloomingdales Gift Certificate that she is flashing in my face... "Biotch" I just found out she has..not one but 2. (I think she stole em..... )Anywho- this is what she had to say about Lesbianz stealing- 1. It is very tacky and cheap for classy Lezbians to steal. (they leave that to the Gay men.) 2. Who would steal something so worthless... (Did she just hit her head??? 50.00 is worthless???) 3. She is trying to do the Enron Scheme so "F" the theft of gift cards... (She dreams big) 4. Besides where are the 26 inch rims? ( do all Lezbians have rims??) 5. She is sooooo the lipstick flicker...... and she said she only steals from Tiffany's and Neiman Marcus..(You know, she has to keep all her girls happy happy joy joy!) OK.... this is what happened to me.. And well I am such a virgin to all of this... So I am learning the hard way. I went out on Saturday night to a bar... I was asked to dance by a really cute guy, and since I like to dance alot I was like suuuuure.... So- we hit the floor.... PEOPLE MOMMA was hittin it! Dip baby Dip, Tootsie Roll, Shakin the Money Maker the whole nine yards..."What".... This is also my latina roots that gets involved and all...Don't hate.... So, after we dance, he kisses my hand and leaves, I go to the bar to get a beer... "Guiness" mind you.... As I am drinking my beer and patting the glistening sweat from my brow ( women blot and pat- men wipe) I noticed my little friend with his friends who are all girls.. I didnt think any thing of it...He removed his glasses, and you all... If I could have shot a golden egg out of my butt I think I would have... He turns out to be a She.... Awwwww... I was dancing with a CHIC... I was humpin it with a Dyke- so my friend T says.. (She said Dykes were different , they wear fade- hair cuts.) I dont care... Hair no hair...Him was a She and all I can say now is SHIM.......... You all, help a sister out... How was I to know...????? And then I accidently felt SHIMs peepee rub against me....*ack* you all, T said I was- DanceFloorRaped..... I felt like it...I was bamboozeled............... 5 Ways to point out a Dyke not a lesbian (stud) thats me T a stud...Written by "T" (I am so confused about all of this) 1. They have fades 2. They like to be called "HE" 3. they wear their strap ons everywhere (you all I about died on this one) 4. They give handshakes like men.... "dap" 5. They are overly aggressive towards all women... (but he kissed my hand) I was just informed by T hand kisses count- it is part of it..... Ok.... SO now that Ihave been date raped by a Dyke, and I have dead fish as memorials, I must suck at life eh? Until then your thought of the day: 
callie rocked you at12:21 PM 2 Comments:
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 CONGRATULATIONS TO: The New Orleans Saints!!!! I mourned with you, and now I celebrate with you!!! Good Morning All- We are now on Tuesday and headed for the halfway mark of another week finished! By the way- Recall on my 50 things to know about me list I stated that on Mondays and Tuesdays that I do not answer my phone during Prison Break or House MD ??? How about my mom could have been having some issues and I did not pick up. I kid you not people.... She called right during the part when the Rapist Perv- Aryan Brotherhood guy was getting the Homer Simpson"Doh" look when that lady was telling him she didnt want him- she wanted some of Lincoln.....Needless to say it was a crucial moment for me as I had to see who was calling and it killed my suspense buzz..... *sighs* I must admit, I would be wanting some of Lincoln too, he is tooooooooooo fyne..... This is the season where thoughts come into my head that I dont think of during the summer or spring...... I guess if you really think about it, I am not the only one that has thoughts like that. You know- some people say that certain scents bring certain memories to ones mind- well that is to be said of clothing, or even seasons..... Fall and Winter to me is a symbol of death per se' while Spring is the rebirth....... Fall for me- is Fall Festivals, Hot Chocolate, and Cozy moments watching tv or a movie on a weekend.........It is also a charming memory of a fish called BUBBA.... I know I know...How can I be so caught up in a fish.....Well, throughout my life thus far I have had numerous pets- and each one was unique..There was snickety the snake, pearl the kitten that I rescued from a drainage ditch that I crawled in when I was skinny, numerous dogs- the list goes on...Each was unique in charachter and charm.... Bubba was a Beta Fish....  He was BEAUTIFUL with tones of angelic red fins with hints of purple...He had a cute condo that I decked with the prettiest of marbles to compliment his fins and the most gorgeous of aquatic plant life that he would sleep or hide in.. Bubba was unique in that when it came to feeding time, I would take a pinch of food and hold it at the surface and he would come and nibble it from my fingers....Of course he was also a showstopper also when I would show him his reflection in a mirror he would poof out his fins as if Patti Labelle was Reincarnated flaunting the new attitude hairdo.........He was....beautiful......... The weather started to get cold in October, and I recall clear as a bell my former boss telling me-"You might wanna take Bubba home when the holidays come up, because the heating unit will be off..." No problem, I was going to do that.but one particular weekend the temps had fallen and when I returned back to the office It was freezing cold, and there was Bubba....*sighs* He was dead...Deader than a doornail...The water was a murky grey, and he was floating sideways at the top.... I was heartbroken...Bubba was my longest lasting fish I had ever had after a year....He was the company mascot...... My boss came in and she didnt have the words to say.......I was in tears and well, I braved it, by saying a few little words, and placed Bubba in the porcelain casket and flushed the toilet.....I was washing my hands and drying my face, and suddenly...something caught my eye........ I looked into the toilet and jimminey christmas, would you believe there was Bubba, back from the Toilet Bowl of death swimming in all his damn glory! I was ecstatic and ran down the hall screaming he was alive- found a plastic cup- ran back to the bathroom and scooped him out and placed him back into his home where he lived for another year.... When he died that time, I had to put him out of his misery....My friend Petey flushed him down the toilet because Bubba, developed some kind of neuro issue to where he swam in ballet circles..His body was curved like a croissant, so he swam that way in the same spot....I just couldnt let him go one like that.........Well, needless to say after Bubba I never got another fish. It sucks when pets die ya know??? Go on crack heads...It's ok to laugh now because today this story is funny...But back then- I would have Jackie Chan slammed you! Ghetto style. Anywho- Heres to you Bubba...This buds for you! Cheers! And your thought for the day:  callie rocked you at8:01 AM 3 Comments:
Monday, September 25, 2006 Good Morning my beloved friends on this Monday! It is once again a new beginning, a new week, and of course a new entry into my realm. Unfortunately, I was running late to work this morning thanks to the many Thousands of school buses blocking my path... And the matter of it that kinda causes me to squirm with words of "jackassness" is that the poor drivers of these buses have to literally stay at a stand still until all of the kids are seated in their assigned seats....... "Kiddies, listen up- Get on the Bus and hurry your butts to your seats! It does not take a year to get in and walk and shove someone to get to your seats......" Now with that beginning off of my 38 D breasteses- chest I must touch on the subject of dating...Well not really dating per se' but the art of dating... See I have this friend named Michael... (And yes by the way- I know many Roberts, and Michaels in my lifetime and this one is a good friend....) Michael- is a divorcee who is perhaps anticipating meeting someone after being alone for so many years- in hopes that he can share something valuable in this world....... He is handsome, he is funny, he is "Very" single, no kids.....So you are thinking......Is he Gay? *laughs* I dont think so..I never asked, but 99% says no he is not...... Is he crazy? Again, I dont think he has any hidden illnesses like being Bi Polar or anything....99% says he isn't........ Is he a loser or bum? No on both of these questions and I am 100% sure on that..... So, whats wrong with him? He is "Picky"........Point blank..... I told him this recently..... I guess it is ok to be picky, but sometimes I think you men need to evaluate more of the inside of a woman versus the outside.. I mean of course you want to be "visually compatible" but what happens in the years when all that "visual" starts to diminish? When her boobs start to sag, or she gets stretch marks and things like that- will she still carry that desire in your eyes still? Women on the other hand, of course we like the visual, but because we are so hard on ourselves as it is- we find that other attirbutes of a man override visuals.... When you start to lose your hair, hey we just tell you to shave it off..no comb overs needed When you start to gain that belly, no problem, we either help you in shedding weight or we buy you bigger shirts or pants. When you start to lose that animalistic sexual drive or become impotent, No worries, we do our best to still entertain and entice you, and go shopping with you to Sex shops..... So- my dear friend Michael, as you can see, the woman you want is out there, your just not giving her a chance. Todays woman, is more independent, and self motivated.... We want the mystery and chivalry of a man-  As well as the protective, caregiver and romance of a man....... In return you will get one heck of a woman...........  In Other words, QUIT BEING SO PICKY. *laughs*DILDO- Ok...I am learning as a parent, that kids will ask the most weirdest stuff...... How you respond is a total different area of opening up a can of worms.  The Question on the way to the Grocery Store: "Mom, whats a Dildo?" I cannot tell you the facial expression of "questioning" that came upon my face, Like for example- Did he see one and where Was it mine or some elses What the Hell! The droplets of sweat start to glisten my forehead in which I calmly replied- "Well, babes, where did you hear the word?" "Use it in a sentance for me" My knuckles are now turning white from gripping the steering wheel to tight........... "Well, Greg on my bus called Shawn a Dildo." Here, is where I sighed a relief so big, I think my butthole silently replied Thank You because it was tense as I was trying to figure out how to answer my kids question. SO to all you parents, be patient and careful when questions come up on ya! By the way- I ended up just telling him it was not a nice thing to call a person because it makes them look like their heads are shaped like penises. It amazes me seriously, how things can tick people off... I really have to exert alot of control and patience when it comes to people...Sometimes instead of going Jackie Chan on people, I have to relax- pray and then screw with them mentally....Ever have people that just cross your path that are pure buttholes? Even in cyber space for goodness sakes.... Soooooooooooooo- Since I am trying to carry myself as a "Lady" I will just give a moments vent and give a "Virtual Whoop Ass" - A Little Poem I wrote- Whoop Arse I can-  In a sink, holding a drink On a boat taking a toke In a house with your spouse, Beating you into a pulp, like a louse Eating a Meal Getting a thrill Having a drink and not even blink Whoop Arse I can........................... *sighs* I feel so much better...No Bitterness left here........................ And your thought for the day- 
callie rocked you at8:56 AM 2 Comments:
Friday, September 22, 2006 That's right my little pretties! It is as we would say in Hawaii-And of Course the: Funky Friday Sound Off! I know I know....Don't break a sweat of excitement ok? I started my morning off today by popping some more vitamins along with drinking some type of vitamin concoction..... So- if my words get a little hard to read - relax and no worries.. I have the little jittery ticks every now and then fmro all of the excess vitamin c............. I DID however rock out to 80's music on the way to work... Flock of Seagulls "Photograph" was the first and then Blondie came on........ ( I think it was that song Rapture cause I tried to RAP it ya know? and well...I screwed it majorly....) Anyways- I was thinking of all of the things from the 80's and how corny we all must have looked..... Remember When the 80's 1. All the guys wanted to have a Michael Jackson jacket and wore the glove 2. All the girls wanted to be Madonna and had the lace gloves, and headband and wide belts that you had to loop around 70 times. 3. Bubbalicious and Hubba Bubba bubble gum was the gum of choice.... 4.gas was around 89 cents! (I still have an 80's newspaper article with a flyer for advertising that shows that!) 5. Jerry Curls were in and were messy as hell....( Let your Soul Glow!) 6. Michael Jackson was "BAD" at that time 7. Prince was Hot 8. Was Rick James in Prison then???? 9. The Top Movies then- The Breakfast club, and Sixteen Candles 10. And Random 80's thoughts I recall- Vanessa Williams was decrowned Ms. America after her nudes were published, (And look where she is now! Good for her) Stamps were 23 cents, The big Headphone Radios and Roller Skating were in, and cordless phones were the cell phones of the 80's. If you can think of more- feel free to comment them! I am interested in some other 80's facts......... I found a few of these from cyber space- Perhaps they are a sign of how I feel, perhaps just boredom.... Never the Less, Here goes! 1. How I feel about my ex husband-  2. How you can visualize me-  3. Thank you Corporate America for DSL-  4.  Yeah well, sorry...38 D's does it to me all the time.5.  Ummmmmmmmmm.... Vicarious,Vivacious, Voraciously, Vulnerable..................Loved it !6. And Last but not least- Something my kid got busted by me for doing for 10 bucks-  He actually did some ones homework for 10 bucks.... That is a no no..........................And now- Funky Friday Shout Outs- The lovely ladies that fix that food at work... I know you are tired of getting up at 5:00 am to make sure we are all properly fed from the 4 Basic Food Groups...May I add a request? Please lay off the Fiber Enriched foods you have been preparing so much of lately.. I find myself after lunch falling alseep at my pc and that does not look good while manning the phones. To my Friend Nicki- Speedy Recovery so we can travel again soon.. I am getting bored and I need to flash my beautiful feet and breasteses at a beach somewhere... To Emme- May your night out on the town be one of booze, and grabbin booty...... I would be so Honored if you can snap a photo of the Naked Cowboy for me! Ms. Sharon and "Diva" Liz- As always I miss ya, Love ya, and Ms. Diva, I am sooooo proud of you and CONGRATULATIONS on your BOOK being published!!!
To my coworkers that visited recently- Well, what can I say? They dont pay me enough.... And to the rest of ya- Holla at a girl sometime. Thought for the Day-  callie rocked you at9:53 AM 2 Comments:
Thursday, September 21, 2006 And of course "Malama Pono" to all Da Kine in Hawaii and mainland bound.... I forgot...An addition to my Christmas Wish List- Li Hing Mui and choke Punaluu Sweet Bread k? I am here at work with a massive head cold and just want to curl up in my bed and sleep... My eyes and ears hurt and I am just coasting..... So- how is everyone else on this crisp Fall Day? You can tell that it's here..We have deer staring at us as we drive to work...Some of them arent so fortunate though, they get hit by vehicles and if they are still alive but in bad condition I have seen some hunter get out of their vehicles with a gun and shoot them....It's a sad sight to behold......... Word Of the Day- Abortion.....In the context of a childs mind like this- "Mom, are you gonna abort me?" "Ahhhh, no...explain what you mean so I understand what it is you are asking." "Are you going to give me up for abortion because I dont clean my room all the time or help you around the house all of the time?" "The word dear, is Adoption...And no...I dont plan on giving you up at all never ever cause your my running partner." "I am?"  Need I say More???Other News Highlights- I found my song you all and I am thrilled...And Nicki, this one is for you Babes! Beyond the Sea- Bobby Darin Theme for Carnival Cruise Lines Somewhere beyond the sea Somewhere waitin' for me My lover stands on golden sands And watches the ships that go sailin'  I admit it, I am a cruise Fanatic! I love them......Cant wait to go again next year......... During one of my coffee moments on yesterday as I was putting together a scrap book, I was recalling memories from my child hood..And I recall this incident which I will title: Moving Glasses .... See, I think I used to do things to my mother and say things for shock value..I dont know why.. But, one day I got this "bright" idea... I gathered some fishing line and tied it to her reading glasses on the arm portion, and then trailed the thread around the sofa where I would normally sit...Careful to not have the thread where someone would walk into it...My mother, after a hard days work, came home, sat at the kitchen table to eat, and proceed to read mail....... When I saw her reach for her glasses I gently tugged on the string which caused her glasses to move across the table..... She was real quiet, as I watched controlling my laughter at her face..She stared at them for a while..and proceeded to reach for them again....This time I pulled a little harder and the glasses slid further on the table...For shits and giggles while she sat opened mouth staring, I then pulled the string some more and the glasses moved at a slow but continuous pace across the table.... By this time she jumped up screaming. I kindly chimed in by jumping up and running to the rescue.....She was stuttering: "My my my glasses are sliding across the table.." I just looked at her in agreeance...And stood there with her staring at the glasses just waiting for them to move...... I had a pencil in my hand and dropped in on purpose, bent down to pick it up and at the same time yanked on the string which cause her glasses to fly right off the table...By this moment she was hysterical screaming and started to cry...I caved in laughing and told her it was me.....It took a while before she found it funny....Heck, if Master Card had hired me for their marketing project back in the day- that "Priceless" caption would have landed me a good retirement by now, because that was in itself "PRICELESS"............. You all have a great day! Thought for the day- Go Head Boy!
callie rocked you at12:26 PM 0 Comments:
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 I would like to know how many of us not in the millionaire club are going to try out the new Hydropolis Hotel in Dubai opening up in 2007............ I was reading about the architecture and schematics and I must say- this is going to be a futuristic venue that I only thought imaginable by Walt Disney World...... I must admit though, my first reaction after reading it was "Did they not see Jaws 3d?"Oh well......It is nice to see where Michael Jackson spent his money.... Awwww Come on, do you really think he went there just to get away from Neverland? I dont think so..He had to go check on how his "investment" was working out..............  Ok......Emme, my friend gave me a Meme Challenge of 100 Things to Know About Me....I decided that I would do up to 50..... So Here goes: 1. I love animals......except bugs.............. 2. The commercial with the Burger King Man gives me the creeps for some reason. 3. I love Thai Food 4. I am an artist 5. I am a kid at heart and love rollercoasters 6. I hate petty High School Drama between adults especially when it comes to women 7. I have 2 tattoos and will soon be having my whole back done 8. I am a genuine caring person and will give my last dollar if I know it helps 9. I have an awesome 11 year old who is my biggest joy and accomplishment in life thus far 10. Funerals no longer make me cry 11. I am a Truck Woman and love mine to death... She is all beat up and can still rock and roll with the best of em........ 12. I am a country girl at heart... Solitude, fishing, camping, growing my own stuff..... 13. I currently reside in a city- and will return to country life in the near future. 14. I am very much involved with Holistic Medicines and Sustainable Living alternatives. 15. I dance and teach for free in my local community 16. I have been involved in representing people in matters of Legal Issues and have been approached by certain Government Officials requesting me to help on campaigns. 17. I declined knowing that just because I helped them to become leaders, does not neccesarily "make" them good leaders. 18. I do not take phone calls on Monday evenings because I spend that time watching Prison Break 19. Same as above except on Tuesdays it's House MD 20. I cry watching movies that move me 21. I no longer watch scary movies after a terrible nightmare years ago. 22. I play percussion in my church 23. I sing in my shower 24. I dance while I cook 25. My son laughs at me when I sing the song for Carnival Cruises 26. I make great french toast 27. I love Senior Citizens and listening to them talk about "When I was your age.........." 28. I have limited friends but lots of aquaintances. 29. I am in love and am loved 30. I believe in Freedom of speech as long as it does not intrude upon others emotions and ideals in ways that hurt them. 31. I travel ALOT 32. I love hosting small affairs 33. I journal to God alot and have thus far 6 journals of my highs and lows 34. I cross stitch 35. I enjoy cooking and learning new dishes 36. I speak basic German and Spanish 37. I love BookStores and Coffee Shops 38. I am a beach fanatic 39. I taught myself to boogie board 40. I am a former resident of Hilo Hawaii and will move back soon 41. I pray with my son 42. I cry when frustrated 43. I eat limited red meat 44. I love girly things like lip gloss, trinket jewelry 45. I love womanly things like Corsettes and Thigh Highs 46. I have 3 Corsettes and tons of silk thigh highs in my possession. 47. One of my most treasured gifts is a Bible that was given to me by a Muslim Neighbor...She is blessed and lovely..... 48. I miss my Native American friends friendship which ended abruptly because of the term "religion" 49. I miss my musical writing and singing partners friendship which ended abruptly due to his heroin useage. 50. I live for the day and not for tomorrow, wishing all that I come into contact with to be blessed in whatever manner is fit. The End- Thought for the Day- Forgiveness Remembers to- "FORGET" 
callie rocked you at9:52 AM 2 Comments:
Friday, September 15, 2006 Happy Friday Peoples! I for one can not "TELL" you how happy I am that this week is over... My brain is literally fried from dealing with people all day long..... I have discovered that now- I have customers and clients that I relate to by name as "JackAss"...And no- this isnt about the movie. It is pretty much breathing hotness in your face Jack Asses.................. You all, mucho grande PROPs to those that spend their times all day creating neat stuff to put on blogs.... Please take a moment to visit a few of those "blinie linkies" that I have listed and add a few dollars and some coinage to keep their sites going! Ladies, have you evah had a day where you just want to look at the world and say "Shut Up"? I am having one of those days- So Help Me Jesus....... People are just bothering me today, and I am normally not like that... My face hurts from smiling to much, I am irritable from listening to people whine, and my gosh, although my lunch was good...GREAT as a matter of fact, I am so bloated now I thought I would have to lie on the bathroom floor to button back up my blue jeans for goodness sake.......... Calgon please- if you love me, take me the Hell Away.....Far Away...... OK......Today is FRIDAY so I have to do or "start" rather the Funky Friday Sound Off....Although this blog is fairly new- I am giving you all opps to send in your Funky Friday Shoutouts to other peeps! Cool eh? Ok....Word of Caution though..... Don't shout off any "rank Tank-Porn infested" shout outs on my blog ok? It's tacky and I want to keep my blog site free of garbage............Thank you Muchly! See, I am not that bad of a person............. Here Goes- Mighty Man Michael- Come home baby! Thats all I need to say Deborah- you need to get your blog fixed- or have someone mail you a new puter! T and Chyna- keep it real this weekend at the NOPI Show- Emme- this weekend is "YOUR" weekend gurl Jonathan- Hurry back and drop a line to this girl, you are missed! And the finale of the take a deep breath and shout out line- Dozier,Chris,and the rest of the crew youallhaveafanfreakintasticweekendanddontdranktomuchbeer causeitwillmakeyoufatandcrabbyandactlikesumethingweallcanlaughat. *Whew!* And the thought of the day from me to all of you-  callie rocked you at1:43 PM 1 Comments:
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 I am jonesin for Chocolate. SO, I used 2 packs of Hot Cocoa mix and a small bit of Hershey to make an ultimate Hot Chocolate Drink...Dunkin Doughnuts, eat your heart out.My breasts are not perky today. I think it is because gravity is beginning to take charge. Time to buy the ugly bras. I tried to dress cute today and opened my front door to leave this morning and saw a flood on my sidewalk... Nah- I think today is going to be a casual day. Dinner tonight is Chef BoyArdee Ala Momma style... Just open the can, dump, heat and stir, and add a slice of garlic cheese bread on the side and parmesian cheese on top of that with a few sprinkles of Oregano and Voila! Spaghetti Momma style.... I really need a pedicure, but after listening to the undercover tapes of Radio Hosts recording conversations in the little pedi shops where a lot of Asians do this delicate task, I am now afraid they will talk about me... *laughs* At any rate- give me the rest of the day to come up with more things that are on my mind. By they way- The designer of these blog skins is awesome! Please contribute to his art work! ciao callie |
