Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
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Monday, April 30, 2007
I am in silence today to honor those fallen at Virginia Tech
I am in silence today to honor those fighting abroad for freedom
I am in silence today for a family broken because of someone elses silence
I am in silence for a young man, a child who did not a get a chance at happiness.
I am in silence for a world in chaos
I am in silence for those who feel Hope is lost.
I am in silence for those hungry and homeless
I am in silence for a nation divided, cultures estranged
I am in silence for you....a people.....
for me.........................
callie rocked you at6:57 AM
0 Comments:
Saturday, April 28, 2007
People, I HATE being the disciplinarian in my household. Truly I do.. I mean I can handle the verbal aspect of it, but I HATE being the one to have to deliver consequences when one keeps up with the charade...Example- On the way home yesterday while sitting a rail road track, I get a call from my sons teacher.. it seems that he has had ALOT of time on his hands lately and has been entertaining class mates for free.... Now, my son and I had this conversion before..I told him I do not appreciate him going to school cutting up. Teachers have alot on their plate- I do not send him to school to cut up and act crazy for the benefit of a few laughs and heckles.... I also told him, I did not want another call from his teacher telling me things of this nature or he would be in big trouble.. He agreed, said he understood, blah blah blah, Hell we even shook on it as agreeance to the understanding of the nature of his next punishment.
I be doggone if not only has he been cutting up, BUT he has not been turning in his homework on time.....Ok..she is telling me all of this....I am listening...I am trying to be pro active... Thank God for rail road tracks people, because I needed that time to pray and ask for wisdom..... I get home, all the gang are at my house, I tell them to leave and I ask my son... "How was school today?" Ohhhhhhh- it's fine, things are good... yada yada yada.... "Ok.... how is homework going lately?" and by this time, he knows something is up... He THEN proceeds to tell me how he doesn't understand how to do this and that.... I look at him and say, "Wrong answer- because we go over homework here, and what you and I cannot figure out, you seek help in school or from the tutor.. So...tell me something new.." He then says- "I have just been lazy" ..Ok...so now I cannot be his friend right now, I have to be Dad-Disciplinarian... Keep in mind I do not do this often so I have to ask how to go about doing such things... Talking was not an option right now, nor was grounding, he had to be punished physically....So- I go through the process of telling him how disappointed I am, how rude he has been in disrespecting his teacher and others in the class, and that he was going to get a spanking.... He agreed and understood... Now- my son has freakin grown in the last month, which means he is taller than me... I also do not know or had anything to spank him with so I grabbed the best I thought would do the waking up job...
"A Flip Flop"
it wasn't your good sturdy one...It was like a 5.00 pair of flip flops with big flowers on them. I got them at Walmart...So...I tell him to hold on to the table, and he does and I start spanking him..Well,I KNOW it did not hurt...I know he squeezed some water effects for my benefit of trying to uphold what I said I would do if he got in trouble again... People, by the 5 whack the damn flower on my flip flop flew off, and it broke in half.... I tried to contain my laughter by just adding for special effect: "This better not happen again, go to your room you are grounded for the rest of your life here at home."
I had to scram to my room where I laughed and cried at the same time... I cried because I do not like having to spank my child- he is a good kid, but he is also growing into an adult, a male leader.. He won't get breaks in life, and he needs to learn that at home..I do not give breaks when your being a jackass... I laughed because I looked at my poor flip flop and started thinking of the Jimmy Buffett song- margarittaville, where he talks about blowing out his flip flop, stepped on a pop top. Yeah, I blew my flip flop alright.
I know...I suck don't I?
callie rocked you at10:04 AM
7 Comments:
Friday, April 27, 2007
I just had a craptastic day yesterday. You know? No matter how nice you are and all it just seems that you have one every now and then and you have to battle the blaze. I thought that my being a firefighter was over until I got home last night. Just as I had settled in a hot tub of relaxing lavender milk beads, with an ice cold Rolling Rock Beer-my phone goes off... Yes, I carry my phone into the bathroom- just like I read what's in toothpaste as I brush my teeth, sue me....at any rate- here is the fire for the evening....Me- Hello?
Voice on the other end in jerking spasms of tears- Callie?
Me- what's wrong??? *by this time I am sitting straight up in the tub fumbling for a towel in the event I have to jump out butt nekkid and run and put clothes on to rush to a hospital or something*
Voice- I'm not going to the prom tomorrow...
In this moment I know who it is and I am trying to get her calmed down in between the spurts of heaves, and snot inhales.
Me- Bri? What do you mean your not going, and please calm down so I can understand what the hell is going on...take a breath - now tell me what happened.
she takes this long breath and sighs and starts to rattle off in lightening speed what happened.
Bri- Jason called me a few moments ago and told me that he was not going to the prom and that he was sorry and he hung up and won't return my calls, and now I don't have a date, and I cant go, and you don't need to do my hair or make up cause I'm not going.
and then she starts to heave and cry again...... At times, I feel so helpless when it comes to hearing other people cry. I am not there and cannot at times do anything for anyone, so I go into rescue drill Sergeant mode and do the best I can in handling the situation.
Me- Ok......stop crying and give me a moment...
I then found myself being a tad more stern with her as she continued to cry...
Me- Damn it Bri, stop the sniffling and suck it up! You are going to prom, and everything is going to be ok, give me a moment to think and stop crying. It is not going to solve anything.
She sniffles and does those little heave spurts...
Bri- Ok....but you don;t know how I feel, I was dumped right before prom!
and then the freakin Alley McBeal moments went off in my head..Ladies you know the ones..Where someone is telling you something and the moments they think you don't know or could not possible understand, replay in your mind because HEY you HAVE BEEN THERE... Except at this Ally moment, I saw my recent situation of being dumped.
Me- Bri, calm down ok? I know how you feel, need I remind you and your mom???? But this isn't about me, it is about you.... Now this is my question... Do you still want to go to prom?
Bri- I already bought my dress and shoes and everything.
Me- But do you want to go????
Bri- yes I do......
Me- then that is all you need to concentrate on. If Jason does not want to go with you, no worries.. You will not be the only girl there by yourself, and this will not be the last time you will ever be dumped in life.
Bri- ok
Me- So....I know this will be hard, but I promise you, you will have a ball and you will look back on all of this years later, and be glad you went. Besides, who knows what guy you will meet ok???
Bri- ok
Me- So. I will be at your house tomorrow at 4 and I will glam you up like the fairy godmother and your going to be beautiful and your going to have a good time- and the next day we will roll Jasons car in toilet paper or something....Ok????
she laughed....and I was relieved...
Me- Look, please don't cry anymore.. I will see you tomorrow.
Bri- ok...bye
Bri hung up...I settled back down in my now cold bath, with my luke warm beer, and cried.... I cried because yeah, I know how she feels...I cried because perhaps I was angry in trying to understand the methodology of some guys or men in why they cant just *say* what the hell is going on with them and their thoughts, instead of having us try and figure it out for them only to feel like boo boo the clown. And then maybe I cried just because I have so many of my own pent up frustrations and just need a good lay.
Yeah, I am a woman and I am not ashamed to speak about such things. I at least have the balls to do so....
Oh please just give me another day....just...a rainbow..just for me....
callie rocked you at7:27 AM
13 Comments:
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Check It People!
This is who will be joining the New Generation Of Muzik and *Eye Candy for the ladies*....
Want More? Check them out in my blog roll and make sure you sample and say hello to Kev and the guys!
Ciao Bella!
callie
callie rocked you at3:52 PM
7 Comments:
First of all I work for a company that is so called BIG on security... You are given an ID Badge to get into what? *Secured Buildings and Areas* Mr. Man who makes a 6 figure income, I double dare your roly poly sloppy ass to come to my face again and threaten me with Supervisor Reprimands because I will not let you behind the glass door.... You may make more money than me, you may have a few extra alphabet initials after your name, but you have NO GAME Mr. smartass.. This is MY area! I am the boss.. and if you did not forget to grab your wallet, or your car keys to drive that fancy car of yours, but blatantly left your badge- your not getting past me..And then to threaten me about reporting me..Puleeeze..Wanna see how much power I have? That's why I had you sitting in the lobby for a good 20 minutes until I decided to cut you an extra badge! Oh- by the way- when you come back to work and realize that you can't get in the door at all using your permanent one- that's because I had it disconnected! REPRIMAND THAT!
And to the girl that wears pretty make up- and yet has a horse grin *meaning when she smiles at you she sticks her neck way out like a horse getting an enema, and has to throw all of her teeth at you- to show off her lasered white bright smile* Ms. Thang, if you EVER embarrass me in front of a table full of men like you did at lunch today, so help me I will not only punch you in the eye, but I will feed you a carrot in the middle of my Jackie Chan spin chop suey style move! When I politely excused myself from lunch and you blurted out- "I am tired of you always leaving early I am never coming to lunch with you again!" Mrs. Ed... first of all I do not ask you to have lunch with me. Majority of the time I eat alone because I like the silence after dealing with craptastic people all day.... I THEN had to politely say in front of everyone "I am sorry but I need to go to the restroom and make a phone call" ....And what did you then decide to say Mrs. Ed???? "Well the restroom is right there, and you have your cell phone right here- so when you finish you can make your call and come back here." Bitch have you lost your ever forsaken mind? Or did the bleaching on your teeth just warp your brain? I do not owe you or anyone else any answers on MY private time! And for you to advertise that you were probably upset because you were feeling neglected- tell ya what...How about an apple AND a carrot stick? Much Lurve to you!
And last but not least........ Ms. Cutey Pie at the Walgreens..... I purchased a box of tampons and pads and gave you the special coupon that allowed me a free item of either or for trying a new product. Sweetie pie with your nose piercing, lip piercing, multiple ear piercings and God knows what else underneath your clothes, please do not hold anyone else up in line by trying to charge me for an item I am to get FREE.... Free does not mean I am poor or broke. It simply means that I was eligible for something that I regularly use every 28 days, and need every 28 days, and that they want my business......... If I ever see you again, and I come with a FREE coupon, don't even waste your time trying to scan that bitch and meticulously try and input numbers through your register! When you see me coming and I am waving my coupon in your face, that is the moment to pick up the Red Phone and ask for a manager..... Women on the rag do not want to be held up while cramping and flooding like an over run toilet.. RECOGNIZE. THAT. SWEETIE. PS.... the hot pink hair does not go with your complexion. It makes you look like Casper in Drag. Your too cute for that. I'm just trying to help you out.
Donations for Chocolate and Midol are accepted. I am outta here!
callie rocked you at12:24 PM
6 Comments:
April 30th will be my day of silence for victims all over the world... Will It Be Yours?
callie rocked you at7:23 AM
2 Comments:
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
It seems that we all from time to time go through periods of the blogger block in which we do not have the words to say at times... Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut of *what will I be talking about today*........And yet that is when I like to go back in Blogger time and look at all of the things that have happened in my life that I so blatantly wrote about. I often tell people I blog because it is cheap therapy for me... It helps to get it all out and yet have people lend advice or bullshit. Whatever floated their boat....
What really caused me to think though, and yes perhaps become a tad emotional, is being able to re-read through posts that really created an impact on me and others... I read through posts where I debated against the War, I read posts where I was openly attacked and called racist names, I read posts where I spoke of my personal moments of being a woman...Emotional, Challenged, and yes lonely.....
And then there were the posts that I wrote that were just purely insane and funny as all get out when it came to my driving in Atlanta, my meeting men at gas stations, my funny moments of Karaoke in Red Neck territories. *Yippie Kai Yay * And yes....there are those posts that still today tug at my heart of romance come and gone, and the friendships built that have helped me through a broken heart.
I read through some of these today and actually allowed a tear to fall as I looked back over some of these, and said to myself "Oh yeah, I remember this one, and that one, and I remembered how I felt when this was said, or that was said." I read back through the ones, where I felt that Calliez Realm would no longer be around and yet where my friends pulled me back with love....
It is perhaps good that at times I do not have anything going on in my life to where I do not have anything to write about each day.. If anything it gives me a chance to be able to read the past and see just how much I have grown, and to see just how strong I am.....And continue to be....
Ok.....Enuff...cuz you know..I don't wanna cry....
Damn that time of the month and I am a little emotional.
lurve you
callie
What really caused me to think though, and yes perhaps become a tad emotional, is being able to re-read through posts that really created an impact on me and others... I read through posts where I debated against the War, I read posts where I was openly attacked and called racist names, I read posts where I spoke of my personal moments of being a woman...Emotional, Challenged, and yes lonely.....
And then there were the posts that I wrote that were just purely insane and funny as all get out when it came to my driving in Atlanta, my meeting men at gas stations, my funny moments of Karaoke in Red Neck territories. *Yippie Kai Yay * And yes....there are those posts that still today tug at my heart of romance come and gone, and the friendships built that have helped me through a broken heart.
I read through some of these today and actually allowed a tear to fall as I looked back over some of these, and said to myself "Oh yeah, I remember this one, and that one, and I remembered how I felt when this was said, or that was said." I read back through the ones, where I felt that Calliez Realm would no longer be around and yet where my friends pulled me back with love....
It is perhaps good that at times I do not have anything going on in my life to where I do not have anything to write about each day.. If anything it gives me a chance to be able to read the past and see just how much I have grown, and to see just how strong I am.....And continue to be....
Ok.....Enuff...cuz you know..I don't wanna cry....
Damn that time of the month and I am a little emotional.
lurve you
callie
Big Phat Edit: Please Excuse the Scarlet Letter that Photobucket placed on my site in the interim that you visited and saw it. Funk That Noize... Someone flagged my site for nude photos...What the hell.. I got your nude photo whoever you are. And it's about ready to slap the ever loving taste out of your mouth virtual wise.....
recognize. that.
callie rocked you at12:44 PM
8 Comments:
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Just when I have been having a rip roaring of a time, I all of a sudden get an email telling me *about* myself and what I need and blah to the blah to the blah....First of all- this one puts me in rare form. So if you are new here and just glancing- don't mind me. I am really not a fighter unless provoked. And then yes, the cobra comes out. However my venom is not lethal. Just perhaps *thought provoking* The following email was sent to me from a person from a past relationship -who has time on his hands to stop by the Realm and then send me evaluation emails on what HE felt I should write or not...Yada Yada Yada...So- Mr. Evaluator- Evaluate this! because I am getting ready to go from Piratesses to Hood in 5 flat....Are you ready???? Let's roll......................
First of all, do not send me any more of your lame ass emails telling me how much you miss me and how much that you love me...As ONE my favorite song artists says: LOVE would have brought your ass home last night! I have no regrets about walking away. You on the other hand should..Because now- your mind is being tormented on who might be in my bed, since you are no longer invited.... Give you a hint- It aint Baby bear or Momma Bear.
Two- Do not keep telling me what I need.... Example? Sure, give me a moment to whip it out of my ass... "You will always need me" was what you said to me in this last email...Baby Baby Baby...Let me tell you this that perhaps you will understand in two year old terms... "I Do Not Need you, or ANY man"...No Woman *needs* a damn man... We CHOOSE to have you in our lives..and when you cant cut the grade, we shop at a hardware store and create devices to make us happy....Battery operated or not..We don't need you men to think it justifies us... I have never needed you...Tell me something: Did I ask you to pay for any of my bills? No... Did you ever spend quality time with me? No.... Could you ever do anything for me to build me up as I did for you? No...so you know, unless I fell off a turnip truck within the last second, what do I NEED you for ?
Some of you men NEED to get some thoughts out of your head. And this is not talking about all of you men, this is just pertaining to the ones that think they do not have issues and that women need them... ahem*YOU* need to wake the hell up... If you cannot get your own shit straight, why pray tell would a woman need your sorry azz???? Riddle Me That.
Over and Out.
callie rocked you at2:35 PM
7 Comments:
My Mood: FORGIVING
It is time for me to truly Forgive and Move on......
Song To Relate To: Brandon Heath- I'm Not Who I was- Album- Don't Get To Comfortable
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you Some time ago
But I never got to tell you
so I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh You know,
I'm not who I was
You were there,
you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing I figured out
I can sing Now
I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
callie rocked you at9:13 AM
2 Comments:
Monday, April 23, 2007
I was doing some reading and since I was thinking of something different to write on I decided to ask YOU. I want to know more about you....The READER....
Let's Play A Game-
Rules:
Must Be honest
Must Sign either Anonymously or make up a name...UNLESS your brave and don't care...
What I want to know:
Something Personal...Wild...Desired...Whatever... Kind of like Truth or Dare, Only without the Dare.. I am *intrigued*.........
callie rocked you at1:15 PM
9 Comments:
And with respects to my weekend.....
May I just say-
"It's nice for a change to finally be the Hunted instead of the Hunter?"
Enuff Said....
callie rocked you at8:04 AM
4 Comments:
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I am off to the Mountain Cabin for the weekend my friends!
it will be GOOD for me as I have been under alot of lifes craziness- and this time would be good for me.
What am I going to do you ask?
Sure: First I will stay in the same cabin with the ginormous whirlpool tub. I am buying some staples, AND guess what? I think my body is lacking
iron or something because I am even buying a steak. Yeah I know!
Later tonight I will build my camp fire and do a few marshmallows. *burnt and slathered between graham crackers and chocolate is the way to make a perfect smore people. Recognize*
And yes... I plan on doing some river rafting if the water is not too chilly still...Have not made up my mind on this.. If anything, I will just enjoy the silence of the running river, the sounds of nature, and will just be amazed that I am able to look into the night sky and see the heavens full of stars all lit just for me to gaze upon.
All in all Saskia I got your book, My journal, my favorite green flannel mens-shirt and I am off!
See you all Monday!
Lurve you!
callie
callie rocked you at8:02 AM
9 Comments:
Friday, April 20, 2007
I remember the group MENUDO...Or as my mother would call them ever so affectionately, "MANURE"... they rawked my sox people! I used to be in LURVE with the Older Ricky..All that curly hair and those braces! I had my wall covered in Menudo 10x13 poster ads that came in the little Tiger Beat books.... "What?" I am telling you, Menudo was the original Backstreet Boys meets Solid Gold dancers with their little shimmies, and the hot pants and Olivia Newton John style Let's get Physical workout headbands!...
And to hear now they are all reuniting to promote a tour and audition..That makes me just squirm in my seat singing:
"Oh yes I like to dance
I like to dance, I like to dance
Menudo I like...."
*laughs* O-ME-O-My......
Well, with that in closing, Long live Hot pants, braces, and work out headbands.....I cannot wait to watch them do "Cannon Ball"..*laughs
callie rocked you at4:52 PM
3 Comments:
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I am tired of men thinking that thin is in.I am tired of men thinking I am not attractive enough...
I am tired of men thinking that my ass is too big.. I thought men liked women with boobs and ass.
I guess not...So....This is what I have been doing for the past month..
Working out- improving me...
Lots of pamper me time...
2 Hours each night of work out time...
And now, I am ready to try dating again....This time, I know I can only be me...and no one else...
So- I am sharing my photo with you all in hopes that you give me feedback on my outfit that I am wearing for my first date Saturday. Wish me well.. Just click on my name!
Yours
callie rocked you at4:36 PM
3 Comments:
My Current Mood: Victorious
Why:
I am a fighter amidst the storms of life
A survivor with instict to keep moving
"Never straight" she whispered to me "Always move forward"
With each new sunrise it is a new promise for me to keep going.
A chance to Reach For The Sun. Is today your chance?
artwork by: Jim Warren Galleries
callie rocked you at8:45 AM
5 Comments:
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Hey ! YOU! Thats right... YOU! I get and find that I have so many visitors that come to this page, and you just stay silent...What is up with that? Say Hello- Bonjour- Happy Alamalaguina" Whatever!
I would like to meet and greet you! Stop hiding..It's no fun to play hide and seek with no partner... No Fair! So- say Hello...You can leave your real name, a fake name, or no name. Just say Hello.... Happy Delurking Day to you too!
"WORD- YO!"
callie rocked you at8:22 AM
4 Comments:
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
First of all- I just love my gas station... If you do not have a QT in your neighborhood you should petition for one. The services and the speed of getting you in and out is awesome, AND it is the Home for the Big Gulp... At forty-nine cents I can sip on a Big Gulp of my favorite soft drink with *free* added flavorings, OR I can just endure a major brain freeze by enjoying a wintry Bart Simpson slurpie on a hot summers day. People..that RAWKS....
Onward- I stop in to my local QT after work where things are slow, and one of my favorite cashiers is there and as she and I are talking in walks- *POWDER* for those of you that have not seen the movie years ago it was about this guy who somehow was struck by lightening and was able to move things around- and attract magnetic items...I don't know..it was a sleeper for me..Anywho- POWDER was white as powder and not a stitch of hair! Hence the reference to powder... Apparently Ms. Cynthia knew this gentleman because this was the conversation-
"My Lord, what happened to your hair?" (he had none...did he have some before?)
Him- "Yeah well, my roommates jokingly did this to me for something I did, they put Nair all in my shampoo bottle."
Me- "Dude, I would sue"
Him- "Naahhh...besides I can't. they are my roommates."
Me- "Sir, pardon me for butting in, but you losing your hair, could have been more serious because it could have taken your sight. They took a chemical based product and harmed you...I am so sorry...."
Him- "Yeah, well....It will grow back..."
I left..People, this poor guy had no hair, no eyebrows all because of a joke...See he needed me as an attorney..I would have thrown charges against his roomies for Bodily Harm, Emotional Distress, and Financial hardship. The judge would have looked at me and said Ms. Callie, what is the charge of financial hardship? I would reply:
"Your honor, if it pleases the court may I approach the bench to explain why my client has had to endure Financial Hardships?" of course he would agree cuz face it, I roll like that, and I would have gone on to explain the following-
My client had to spend hundreds of dollars at Lenox Mall at the Mac Counter for make up aids to cover his blotched skin on his head
My client had to spend hundreds of dollars seeking therapy against not killing his room mates
My client had to seek professional services of *said drag queens* who ordered a special hair piece in which was used to at least make him eye brows- which they pain staking snipped, trimmed and arched, and applied with spirit glue
People, Powder would have walked out a millionaire...Some jokes, are no longer jokes when your body is harmed..Funk that noize.
When I got home last night and did my routine of checking home work, having my son re-do homework, make up homework for him, cook and wash dishes, I then settled down for a moment to watch the highly anticipated documentary of "A Man Among Wolves" on National Geographic... I had seen the ad's on the net- and marked it on my calender... Well needless to say as my son and I started watching it, it was really intriguing and yes, I am a woman and I was somewhat turned on by watching this tall buff man rolling around in a landscape of wolves showing his Alpha maleness..It was sexy..and he was kinda sexy- cute in a Tristan of Legend of the Falls type of way.... And then the ultimate let down and turn off....
My son and I watched in awe at this man expressing his dominance over these wolves...And then they showed a clip not the full version *YET* of him establishing the dominance of meal time..Who eats first, then second...and what parts....Ok..no problem..so I say to my son...
"E, can you tell what he is eating because his hands are cupped and I cannot see."
Him- "I think- maybe beef jerky or something."
Me- "Dude, I don't know.." (me putting my tired mind to logical thinking) "See, if he is around wild wolves, and trying to establish dominance, he cannot just bring outside food in around them...besides, he has blood on his hands."
And then ladies and gents. they proceed to show the meal time issue...Basically this hunk of a man slit open some type of animal.....reached in the stomach area and pulled out all of these innerds, grabbed the liver, and kidneys, slightly cooked the liver and kidneys, stuffed them *back* into the carcass, took this animal back to the pack- reopened it and started munching. People if I had a Depends diaper I may have peed myself. Sexiness went out the window! All in all though it was an awesome look at man co-existing with nature..Albeit a tad out of the box...
Talk about Dances With Wolves.
Other than that, as you can see Diva and I along with any other Piratesses are going on vacation in September...Destination now- Jamaica...Ok..I was really wanting to do the cruise since everything was there, but I can handle being on a beach or at a swim up bar. So the task now for me is to decide *where*.....There are not many kool places in Montego Bay, alas I heard of Hedo 2 and 3, but you know....
First of all, I may talk alot...ALOT of booyah about this and that- but I would not be able to keep a straight face being there..First I would be laughing to hard at all of the penises floppin about...AND I would be uncomfortable because people would perhaps think I was interested in getting laid..And that is soooo not what I am wanting or needing or looking for..... I digress mon cherie, we are just going to find trouble at a regular Holiday Inn, because momma is not about to participate in the Nude Disco, Nude Volleyball, and the Toga Bare as you Dare party...I just do not have the strength or straight face to venture that way.
Until then, may your Tuesday be a good one...and someone send me a joke.
callie rocked you at8:29 AM
4 Comments:
I... designate this morning not just a day of mourning for the tragic events at Virginia Tech., but also a day of expressing Tolerance, Patience and Love ...
Regardless of the situation
regardless of the circumstance
there is Hope in the middle of each disaster that will bring this all around........
Tell someone you care, show someone you are willing to be patient and tolerant of anothers differences- anothers emotions and feelings......
My prayers go out to you .
callie rocked you at7:19 AM
2 Comments:
Monday, April 16, 2007
Yes.. The Piaratess Goddess is back- and is feeling GREAT....Since Piratess Fancy enjoyed my News Cast Posting, I decided what better way to give her another smile??? So here are a few for you Fancy.. All together now................"Arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Rabbits block traffic in Hungary
BUDAPEST, Hungary - Five thousand rabbits blocked a highway Monday, tying up traffic after the truck that was carrying them collided with another vehicle and overturned.
(Can we say Peter Cottontail on this date hopped more than the freakin bunny trail??? Can you imagine that scene? Rabbits hopping all over the road, on cars, on people? Kids screaming they want one and ya know someone was out of their vehicles scooping some up for pets- and possibly a good ole fashion rabbit stew..Don't hate! )
Company: Toilets might catch fire
TOKYO - Japan's leading toilet maker Toto Ltd. is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire, the company said Monday.
( I let out a hell of a laugh on this one people! Imagine sitting on the toilet taking a dump of the day only to get ready to flush and well, you yell out Jerry Lee Lewis style- "Goodness Gracious Great Ballz Of Fire!" People, I cannot explain to you how first of all had I been around this scenario, I would be in stiches for laughing first and then asking if you are ok second... CLASSIC!!! )
Piratess Diva sent me this email on Friday... She is such a funny joy in my life. And yeah we have our disagreements at times- but know what??? Talk about her - or hurt her feelings, and I am on you like a tick on a fat dog! Anyways- check this out for all you WallyWorld fans!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give your urinesample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it."
"It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. . . a lot cheaper than a doctor."So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavyactivity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples fromhis wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
And with that people- I am out like Elvis...
Arrrrrgggghhhhh
callie
callie rocked you at10:16 AM
2 Comments:
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Mahalo Nui Loa Mr. Ho for your sweet sweet music and your legendary voice.
"Tiny Bubbles" is one of my favorites and I will play it often in memory of you.
Me ka `oia`i`o
callie
callie rocked you at6:40 PM
0 Comments:
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Sweet Laura-
May This day bring you happiness and spirit filled blessings! You are such a wonderful person
Happy Birthday My Friend!
callie
callie rocked you at6:58 AM
0 Comments:
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
People, I do not get any interesting email anymore unless it pertains to the UK lottery- or perhaps a new penis enlargement device or pill- so imagine my joy when I check my email and I see something from FANCY- and bless her heart she tells me- "She saw it and could not resist sending it to me".
Check It People!
Check It People!
The Piratess and her lovely Piratess crew are sailing big time on the high seas in search of Truth, Justice, and Adventure in the Female way! Fancy- thank you for the *thought* of me today.. It totally made me smile and brightened my day to know someone was thinking of me... You so RAWK! and here is my gift to you my friend:
"I came with the Cheeseburger Happy Meal...I hope Your Happy!"
love you,
callie
love you,
callie
callie rocked you at12:18 PM
6 Comments:
Number 1.
Insurer must pay for boy breast surgery
By SAMUEL MAULL, Associated Press Writer Wed Apr 4, 9:35 AM ET
NEW YORK - An insurer that refused to pay for a teenage boy's breast reduction surgery on the ground that it was cosmetic must reimburse his father for the operation, a New York appeals court ruled. The state Supreme Court's Appellate Division upheld two lower court rulings that directed Group Health Inc. to pay for the surgery because it was "medically necessary" for the boy to lead a normal life.
In 2004, the then-17-year-old boy's father sued GHI because the insurer refused to pay to reduce the boy's enlarged breasts, a condition known as bilateral gynecomastia.
(Insurance companies suck major azz people... See if it had been one of the board members that had a medical issue such as this they would have rectified it with a Superman-kryptonite quickness...No? You disagree??? Imagine being a guy on the board and waking up one morning and finding out that your penis was no longer functioning because all of a sudden you start to produce a *va-jayjay*....Holy Smokes Batman! I am turning into a girl!!! Yeah right... 911 would not be dialed fast enough....And yes...imagine if it were a lady who got up one morning and saw that her vajayjay was now dropping into sagging balls! Yeah....I beg to differ...This child does not need to have a psychiatric trip episode because some woman later in life tries to feel him up and discovers man boobs....)
Number 2.
Ga. School to Hold Integrated Prom
Provided By: The Associated PressLast Modified: 3/29/2007 2:10:43 PM
ASHBURN, Ga. (AP) -- "Breakaway" will be the theme when a South Georgia high school hosts its first integrated prom, which will be school-sponsored.
(Yes we do still have some assbackwards things going on here in Georgia...For example- people still hunt for roadkill and make a Clampett Dinner type of soup from raccoons and squirrels, A lot of black people still do not shop at the local Piggly Wiggly, and yes..They still have Segregated Proms... It is 2007..And these kids are now having to fight the town, and their parents to have a rainbow coalition prom... I am sooooo crashin this! I need a date!)
Number 3.
Hatfield-McCoy feud blamed on ‘rage’ disease
Rare, genetic condition may have fueled violent tempers across generations
The most infamous feud in American folklore, the long-running battle between the Hatfields and McCoys, may be partly explained by a rare, inherited disease that can lead to hair-trigger rage and violent outbursts.
The Hatfields and McCoys have a storied and deadly history dating to Civil War times. Their generations of fighting over land, timber rights and even a pig are the subject of dozens of books, songs and countless jokes.Angry tumors and tempers Von Hippel-Lindau disease, which afflicts many family members, can cause tumors in the eyes, ears, pancreas, kidney, brain and spine.
(*laughs hysterically*...Ok....Can I say...WEED.....MAJOR WEED.....they need to calm down...Damn Shorty! When your fighting over pigs that is not a good thing... "Gimme back my pig!" "NO! You aint gonna get wilbur this spring cause he'z fixin to be good eatenz for Ellie Maes Weddin!" There is a clinical definition for everything today isn't there....??? I mean can anyone use this??? Example- A couple gets accused of beating each other over the last bag of Lays Potato Chips- BarBQue flavor at that! Police report that both individuals suffer not from "Whoopyourassitis" but from the famed Von Hippel-Lindau rage Disease.....Yeah...remind me to use that one the next time I run a red light. Officer, I am not sorry, nor do I apologize for doing 65mph in a school zone- because I have Von Hippel Lindau disease and frankly Scarlett I don't give a damn. That will go over reaaallll well.)
Got anything else that is newsworthy that you need interpreted? Holla at me! As Popeyes Fried Chicken says: "I do good bayou!"
peace and Arrrgggghhhhh
callie
callie rocked you at7:31 AM
4 Comments:
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
You had to have known in your sweet souls that I was going to weigh in on this tit for tat exclusive of just how assholes exhibit true manhood and assholism views...... I speak of none other than:-IMUS-
See this is what needs to happen during his so called suspension and petty excuses of "I'm sorry because"... Although I do believe in forgiveness, I also believe that a person should be repentant to receive true forgiveness....However, the Pirate Bitch in me has spoken - so shall he walk the plank! Arrrrgggghhhhhhh....
We will first start off by kidnapping Mr. Imus.....He will be blindfolded and it will be removed when he reaches the secret destination...My Realm...The blindfold will then be ripped off to where he will face truly beautiful women that only he can only dream about- because let's face it, he will never behold such elegance because he cannot appreciate such fyness...
Let us proceed.... Judgement: Mr. Imus will be found guilty of First Degree Emotional Abuse of Women, and His punishment will be that of Humiliation- since that is his Fetish.
First I will introduce him to the Lovely Piratess Diva...She has a knack for the ultimate in Makeup and Dress Apparel...He will be transformed into a Girl...by ole means a sad looking girl, but she will do what she can with what she has...However, He will not be granted niceness in apparel. He will have to wear something shabby, and ho'ish since he likes the term so much.
After Piratess Diva has completed that transformation, we will then ship him over to Piratess Wanda...She is our Siren and such men are captivated by her brilliance and beauty, however because Mr. Imus is serving a sentence of humiliation, we all think it fair to have him do chores that Piratess Wanda demands...whether it be to shine her shoes with his tongue, or clean her house from top to bottom while humming the tune of Oklahoma...It is whatever Piratess Wanda sees fit, and it will be humiliating...Because after all Imus, it's what guys like you thrive on isn't it?
After a lengthy time with Cleaning and Scrubbing and sweating and crying, we will then ship his sorry azz off to Piratess Christy aka *Tookie*....Not only will she delight in chugging down a 6 pack in front of Imus before delivering his punishment, she will also thrill in getting into Imus' face, disclosing her true identity of being a white woman on the outside, but also that of being a big black afro wearing muscle bound ex con on the inside, she will surely put the fear of God into his cowardly azz.... Christy- aka Tookie, did inform us of the biggest humiliation of all though for crack heads such as this- She suggested and it was cast to vote, that true humiliation can only be attained by placing someone into the very act that they discussed...Therefore, Imus is now haggard, tired, crying like a bitch he is, and now has to parade up and down the city streets and to my plank area, with Big Hoop earrings, and a huge sign that says:
"No- I am a Nappy Ho'd Bitch!" "Get It Right"...... By the time Imus has his fill on my ship with beauties like us, He will relish in the thought of just how ho'ish we can be in the art of humiliation.... He will be broken in pride and spirit..Because after all, is that not what he did to these young ladies? He will be ridiculed and made a spectacle..He will after all be a subject of his own anal assness..After it is all said and done, he will come to me and will hit my ship deck on his hands and knees, in tears, and beg forgiveness........
"Forgiveness for what?" I will say..."What are you asking forgiveness for?" I want to hear it...
"Ahhh my lady....My Piratess Callie!" "I ask for forgiveness for treating women as if they do not matter, and I ask that I be forgiven and pardoned from any more humiliation as I am not strong enough! Please Please Piratess Callie!!"
And I will look upon this poor pathetic groveling creature with snot running all down his nose..His poor frizzy hair now turned into a stay puff fro from heat and exhaustion, and I will gently say....
"Dear Dear Imus...Have you truly learned your lesson and can appreciate the value that women hold on this earth? Can you appreciate and fully realize now, that we are strong beautiful creatures in many different forms of life, that have birthed and raised Kings???"
"Oh yes yes Piratess Callie!! I do I do!!" he will shakingly reply...
And I will smile and accept his plea...."Imus, rise to your feet. From this day forward may you learn the true value of women and never repeat this episode again, for the next time you do- you will find more than humiliation awaiting you.....But for now, Walk my plank, and as you do- be sure to kiss every one of those female asses that you have hurt along the way- with your apologies and admonishments that you are a sorry excuse of a man."
"Welcome to the Realm". "Now get the hell out of my sight".
callie rocked you at12:20 PM
7 Comments:
Monday, April 09, 2007
"You have something broken too??? Kiss my boo boo and I will exchange the gift."
callie rocked you at3:25 PM
0 Comments:
My first stop was to run back up the stairs to my place before I cranked my truck, as I didn't really check the weather and upon entering my truck I noticed the uncontrollable shakes from being cold- and with me wearing a black leather skirt, and thin white sweater it did not help in 32 degree weather. I decided my black boots and a turtle neck white sweater were in order.... Getting back out of the house, and back into my truck- I go to crank her up.. Only she doesn't start... "Ohhhh NO! Not right now!!"..... Yeah I beg and plead when something doesn't go right especially if I am to be somewhere in a hurry... So...I think like a genius- Switch my gear in Neutral and turn the ignition- it fires up! "Yessssssss" Napolean Dynamite style I hissed....
*Reminder* Have my mechanic Johnny check the electrical system and apply for a part time job as a Hooters girl to pay the bill.....
As I am driving I *then* notice my gas gauge....Can we say Past Empty? All together now..PAST EMPTY...I drive into the gas station- get out to pump my gas only to realize- "Shit! I left my purse!".....So- needless to say I have to drive back home- get my purse- and by this time my only option is to just head to the church and get gas later. Keep in mind- I am in prayer mode, because If I run out of gas on the way there- I have to practice my hitchhiking skillz......
When I get there- I notice a few vehicles, but the parking lot was still basically empty. I get inside the church and I see my Team Leader... "Hey goodmorning!".....I am glad you got here early.. I need to run these songs over with you."
"Ok- no problema" was my response...... It was then during the second, third, and fourth song where I looked at him and said:
"Dude, I am not trying to be rude or anything, but..... you do realize that I have never heard these songs and you are wanting me to sing these as solos right?"
He just looks at me and smiles and says: "You will do fine, You read music and you catch on really fast- God will help you." Ok......Thanks..... Well, I actually did muster through all of them.... annihilated one of them.....
All in all it was fun..And we had a gathering of 15 people which showed up! Breakfast was served also...And it was unique...the cook totally jacked the food........TOTALLY....I think he scrambled eggs mixed with boiled eggs somehow, and the icing on the cake was the bacon...It was black...No...it was not black...It was MIDNIGHT BLACK.... As I sat down at one of the tables, someone at my table made the comment of:
"Well, anyone care for any crispy bacon?" I just smiled....grabbed my juice and started to sip when one of the older senior citizen gentleman proclaimed loudly through his hearing aid....
"Crispy Bacon?" "Hell son, it's burnt!" Needless to say juice did not stay in my mouth long.
Later on that day I did enjoy in the delights of watching GridIron Gang...People- that is an awesome movie! Can I also whisper- *the Rock and Xibit* yum.... And you know what- do not give me any flack for lusting over a few men..It isn't like I am out whorein or anything. A girl can look......and still be in compliance....Which by the way I have been doing alot of... But- if anyone has the hook up for contacting Xibit- have him roll my way. He can pimp my ride anytime! My truck needs it.
I think Scaramouche Jones somehow gave me the cooties, because around 8pm or so I was miserable...Nah- I did not have the phlegm and snot issues that he had, but I had a temp creeping in the 100 mark- so I went ahead and threw back a BC powder and a Guinness and called it a night. I am this morning as perky as nipples on a cold day. Which reminds me by the way- I have been looking into breast reduction.. I always wanted smaller breasts you know..the A cups..Instead I got D cups..... Was also thinking of downgrading the J-Lo ass for the Sigourney Weaver ass...Still in contemplation mode though.....Maybe I can donate what I can get taken out or off to someone that wants additional boobs and booty..I dunno..How does that work people?
callie
EDIT- *laughs* I was just informed via email that in order for me to get hired at Hooters I needed to keep the D size cups and the J-Lo butt, that men are most appreciative to watch a beautiful woman like me and be able to eat chicken wings at the same time.... However, I really don't want chicken wing grease drippin all over me..I will settle for gas station attendant.
All I have to say is thanks for making me blush....And for brightening my day!
callie rocked you at7:57 AM
0 Comments:
Love, Callie
One Flaw In Women
By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
However, if there is one flaw - it is that they forget: THEIR WORTH.
callie rocked you at7:29 AM
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Saturday, April 07, 2007
She's A Butterfly lyrics:Martina McBride
She remembers when she first got her wings
And how she opened up that day she learned to sing
Then the colors came, erased the black and white
And her whole world changed when she realized
[Chorus:]
She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes
Everybody knows she's so glad to be alive
She's a butterfly
Like the purest light in a darkened world
So much hope inside such a lovely girl
You should see her fly, it's almost magical
It makes you wanna cry, she's so beautiful
[Chorus]
God bless the butterfly, give her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
God bless the butterfly, give her strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
Yes- I Am......Because of you....
callie rocked you at8:18 PM
0 Comments:
Friday, April 06, 2007
Scaramouche-I just had to do this post in order to add my little graphic. But I read your other works and I must tell you, I can see why you won the award, and that entry on the Pirates and that Pledge of Allegiance was totally freakin funny my friend.... *laughs*
Until then- "YoHoHo pass the rum matey- Arrrrggghhh"
callie
PS...you get the:
Award.......................
callie rocked you at8:07 PM
4 Comments:
I have found from personal experience that when I cannot or do not have the words to say I can always borrow accordingly with how my thoughts are- how my heart feels. I have received an email this morning from a very dear friend who is suffering from heartache. Of course to some people it is easy to just move on from such matters, and yet for others it is having an emptiness and brokeness that may never heal... May I just say my friend and to others that are on this path....That heartaches are of a level of a deep ache... At times the ache can be so deep that some never recover......
I will however tell you these things from my heart and experience in hopes that you find peace amidst your storms.... I *KNOW* how you feel my friend....and my heart aches with you and you cry not alone. I hope that perhaps what I can say and pass along to you will give you strength, and peace....
1. "Do not be anxious about anything..... Phillipians 4:6-7
2. You are not a victim tossed around on the whims or evil intent of others....*meaning there is always a deeper level than we see or know at that time.* You must believe that you are being watched over and nothing that has ever happened to you has not first been passed through hands of mercy and grace.....
3. My sweet sweet friend, Keep in mind through this trial of yours that-
LOVE never fails *true love*
Joy cometh *yes it will even when you do not see it right now*
Peace rules *It will be and I pray it upon you, a peace that will supercede ALL that the human mind can imagine.
Patience waits * If he truly truly loves you, he will return...But if he does not- be patient my friend... It just means that HE was not good enough for you and the one that your heart desires is on his way*
Do not allow this experience - this trial to keep you in a state of having a hardened heart. Continue living life to the fullest with the expectation and promise that you are loved, your are thought of and your rainbow is just around the corner.....
I am always here for you..I love you...and you are not alone, although you may right now feel like it... This to shall pass......
callie
callie rocked you at7:57 AM
1 Comments:
Thursday, April 05, 2007
1. You all should know by now that I changed my linkage. Poor Shen, he just found out. I guess he realized something was not right when he tried to type in my last web info and he got a glance at porn action instead. I heard him screaming all the way from across the world- "Oh my eyes my eyes!!"2. Recall my episode about the litte man that lives in my apartment complex? Well if you can't recall it here is the linkage- click here- LITTLE MAN
Well, it seems that Little Man came running from his domicile doing a mad 50 yard dash to meet me as I pulled into my parking space the other day. Of course he offered me a beer that was all shaken up- I declined as I do not want him to think we have something going on. "How are you?" "You wanna come to my BarBQue?" "You can come and I give you hugs!" Alrighty then...I just politely smiled and told him I had things to do and ran my own 50 yard sprint to my apartment.
3. I have *another* interview with that Law Firm-Tech company on next week... I am stoked people... Which reminds me, I have to invest in more skirts, tight sweaters and high heels to wear to the office. I mean, a secretary has to look her best yo?
4. I have decided that my next vacation for sure will be at the Karisma Properties in Mexico. I really do like Mexico... and I really think that for the time being since I may be in transition of jobs within the next month or so, that this would be an awesome place for me to regroup- "How Stella Got Her Groove Back Style".....only thing is- as beautiful as Taye Diggs was in that movie, I have someone else in mind that I would rather share that experience with... If that does not equate- then I will send you all photos back of me mackin with the Butler. *laughs* "Of course I am kidding... No I'm not... "*laughs*
5. My sons birthday was on yesterday and of course a major drama moment has occurred at grandmas.. It seems he was a tad enticed by a little girl at church and they were caught sharing a little kiss. Needless to say I am not ready for this and had to pop a few aspirin and finished off a bottle of wine with a small prayer.. "O Lord, please please please let me make it through this stage of adolescence and please let him keep his penis in his pants until after graduating from high school...Amen..Amen..." Did I mention that I broke out in a cold sweat during this moment of blubbering?
6. Did I ever tell you all about my letter to the IRS? I know I told Diva, but I guess I can clip and paste it here for you all..Enjoy....
To: IRS Amendment Department
RE: Amended Tax Form
Greetings,
I am sending this letter in hopes to finalize any future confusion in reference to the above Filing. I have sent documentation certified mail as well as through the Advocacy Department for Tax issues and I am still being sent letters from your office indicating that you have yet received the required filings to close my case. Unfortunately I see this not only as a problem of stupidity within your sectors but also a cause for alarm as you are to be Governing over the financial implementations bestowed upon you for the United States of America, and yet cannot seem to process paperwork correctly. If you could take a moment out of your day of sending letters to remind me of how much of my tax refund you have made out with, perhaps somewhere on your computer screen you will see where I have been dealing with you all since 2005 on a repetitive basis, not as one of a blind date inquiry.
From now on, please cease and desist from sending me any further letters from your office informing me of how much of my refund you decided to take for supposed lack of paperwork. I, like many other Americans I am sure, do not need to be reminded of how bad I was screwed without the Vaseline. For now, just go ahead and enjoy my refund as you use it for your next Office Party Expenditures. I am quite sure you all can enjoy expensive coffee and gourmet doughnuts at the cost of tax payers’ money. But be careful and try not to choke as you will find out when you do properly credit my paperwork by April 15, 2007- that you will need to refund me 906.36. I would like to have that as quickly as you took my refund. I have a trip planned.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter, AGAIN.
People...I can hardly wait for the reply. And yes I really sent it. If anything it will cause them to look at my account and someone from the resolutions department will give a Homer Simpson "Doh" look and will have to reply.. I cannot WAIT! Recognize people... I am on a mission....
Other than that- life in Callies Realm I think is on cruise control for the moment but keep your pantyhose on, She is going to be picking up speed Long Duck Dong style! *winks*
Have a great Thursday.
callie rocked you at8:29 AM
2 Comments:
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
It was 6am in the morning and I was told the night before that I had to be induced because you were having or going through fetal distress and my blood pressure was high.Prior to all of this let's look at how you came to be in my life.
I found out I was pregnant around 4 weeks after conception... Right after the confirmation I was extremely sick. I could not stop throwing up. I had never been pregnant and relied on what other women had told me- that morning sickness was normal for a while..Eat crackers, drink ginger ale..rest... And yet with you, I was doing it 24 hours a day 7 days a week. After 2 weeks of this it got to a point that I could only hold down mashed potatoes.. When I could no longer do that I was rushed to the emergency room. The Doctor rushed me upstairs where they strapped monitor devices all over me and on you... They told me I was suffering from Hyperemisis and that I was basically miscarrying- that it would be a matter of time. In the meantime they admitted me and told me they had to put fluids back into my body. They asked me how long it had been since I slept.. I cried and told them 2 weeks... I couldn't stop throwing up and please not to let you die. I woke up 3 days later listening to your heartbeat through a monitor and tv screen.
5 months- I was having such a hard time with other things that it affected heavily on my carrying you... I was diagnosed instead of Post Partum Depression as having clinical depression. I prayed. I never took the medication they gave me. I prayed. I asked God to remove the bad that was happening and to bring us both through this.... 2 days later your dad was shipped off to the Middle East- and I had a dream... A lady was standing in a pool of water so crystal blue that it was nothing that I have ever seen. She whispered to me, to not be afraid, that you were the one.....
6months- You and I defined the word DELI....Food was awesome! You were picky as hell though. No canned foods of any kind. I had to get everything from the farmers market... But you sure craved a Deli sub and potato salad ALOT....You also craved salt...which in turn had me drinking tons of Olive Juice and Pickle Juice from the jar...
I read to you... I sang to you...I talked to you... One moment that still plays in my mind and I was fortunate to keep on video tape was during an ultrasound appointment. I took a musical globe that I often played for you... When I saw you on the screen I played the music and placed the ball on my tummy...I took my finger and traced your little face, and at that same moment you took your little hand and raised it upwards to where I was touching.... My heart and spirit soared.
8th month- You and and I were in a very bad car accident. My car was totalled and I went into early labor. The doctors told me it was still early and they would do what they could. I was dilated 3 centimeters. They gave me drugs upon drugs to stop the contractions.... I was in the hospital for a week, praying and crying...relying on the dream that comforted me... The contractions stopped.
April 3, 1995- I was told that you were in fetal distress and that my blood pressure was to high and that I needed to be induced. I was told that an emergency team would also be on hand . I went home and packed... I sat down in the tub that evening and you and I had a long talk. I also left a Last Will and Testament handy in the event that anything happened. Deep inside I felt I did not need one, but the Hospital recommended it..... I stayed awake that night...
April 4, 1995- 6 am. I was at the hospital admissions desk filling out my paperwork. I was then taken to my room. It was beautiful.. I changed into my gown and laid in the bed as the nurses came to do my blood pressure, and other vitals. I was then given a shot to start the inducing of my labor... I was terrified. I started to cry and asked God to give me peace- a moment later a mid wife walked in and asked me if I was afraid. I told her yes. She told me not to be, that I would do and be fine.
9am- Grandma shows up and is on my last nerve *smiles*
9:30 am- my water breaks and I am in tears from the pain. The pain is so bad that I noticed after all was said and done, I bent the bed rail from grabbing onto it.
12:00 pm- The emergency team is called in and yells something about having to get me to start pushing. Monitors are going off wildly, beeping noises , people rushing here and there. They tell Grandma she has to move away from my bed. They place an oxygen mask on me as they lay my bed flat. I am then told that I need to push..... and I do.... I continue and continue until I hear you cry.... and the Doctors voice- "Arrival time- 12:23pm "....... They took you away and checked you out. They had given me a sedative and told me that I still needed the oxygen. A nurse finally brought you to me... I took you in my arms and kissed you on your little head...You started sucking your hand.... I told the nurse I could not hold you long because I was so tired....Grandma of course took the honors...and I slept.....
I look back on all of this today..... Your day.... I can count on one hand how many times I have had to spank you... As you have never given me many problems or issues.... I look at how you have grown and how handsome you are. A honor roll student.A compassionate young man... You are 12 today.....In 5 years you will be gone..On your own.... I am still learning how to be a single parent... May I just say that you are the biggest joy in my life??? I am so blessed and honoured to have been chosen to carry you, and nurture you into the man, the leader that you are meant to be..... I will save the mommy advice for next year...... Today if anything I want you to know that I Love you, I am proud of you, and God Loves you...You have a purpose... We have gone through alot you and I....Your path is and will be continuously be revealed each day....And I will be with you always..... Today my dearest son, on this day- The Angels sang when you were born.... They still sing for you....
Happy Birthday!
mom
callie rocked you at7:20 AM
6 Comments:
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
I am fortunate to work in an area that is totally picturesque. The area that I work in is basically a chalet type of resort atmosphere- where my surroundings are encased by glass windows, and wood- to give me more of a mountain cabin feel.... Not only am I fortunate enough to be my own boss with other amenities, I am blessed to be working for a company that is into nature and keeps its landscaping accordingly.
At lunch today I took advantage of some of those amenities by taking a walk by the river. First of all it is near 100 degrees, *kidding* it is basically mid 70's and sunny with a nice cool breeze. With lunch in tow, I ventured to have an hour of me time and decided to sit at the gazebo. I sat there eating my veggie lasagna and iced lemon water as I watched a family of ducks swim by. They swam by quacking along while trying to maintain the single "Come hither or I am kicking serious butt" motif. I then decided to spend some time swinging on the bench swing while staring out at the river... I counted numerous lizards and even caught one. It was a pretty shade of purple with dark emerald green.... I saw numerous butterflies and dragon flies....I grabbed a few dandelions and blew them like I used to when I was younger... I even made a wish....
"Oh pullllleeeeeze let prince charming come to me and do my toe nails like that handsome man from the movie Something New...."...needless to say either I am short of breath or that was not a good wish because I still had alot of furry stuff left on my little flower.... so I tried again....
"Oh Pullllleeeeeeze let me win the lottery that is now 88million dollars!"..... nope...so then I retried for the very last time, and this time I knew in my heart of hearts that this was a winner..."Oh puleeeze bless all of those that come into my life, and give them sun amidst the storms, and send my love to that very special someone to let them know I am here. "
And like presto- all of the left over flurries blew into the wind. It was if I must say so myself a Cinderella moment for me....... I think the best aspect of my lunch today was closing my eyes and just allowing my mind to go blank...Even if for a moment..... I get caught up in the rat race at times and in my own dilemmas and that of others that I simply do not take enough time to enjoy the silence... *laughs* a Depeche Mode moment.
When I closed my eyes and stopped thinking... I heard and saw so much more than what my opened eyes see...There was the humming bird that was behind me somewhere drinking from the flowers. There were the squirrels chattering to each other...Probably conversing about how I invaded their domain and they were planning a nut attack upon my head if I didn't leave fast enough...and then...Behold.....the giant plop noise that landed next to me on the swing. I quickly opened my eyes out of my meditative state of Sensory Enlightenment...I was awakened by bird shit.
All in all, at times I need to be reminded... "With everything that surrounds me in such beauty, I am never truly alone..." Take time out of your day to enjoy your own moment of sensory enlightenment. You, like I might be surprised at what you will see....
callie rocked you at12:03 PM
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Monday, April 02, 2007
When I am so lost at sea
You bring me closer to you- to thee
You carry my worn withered soul
in your caring ways I know
When the world has thrown its curves my way
and the sun refuses to shine
My silent tears they fall to my face
as I look to the heavens I find....
you....
Standing with your arms open wide
You pick me up and I can touch the sky
Once again set me on my path of life
with your strength I no longer fight...
me........
I still go through the race of life
trying hard to find my place
At times it gets so hard to see
when all I see is my face
Your promises ring true and dear
my soul is ever torn
the world will place upon me their disgrace
as a child that should have never been born
but you............
Standing with your arms open wide
You pick me up and I can touch the sky
Once again set me on my path of life
with your strength I no longer fight......
me.......
written by callie