We are half- hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
C.S. Lewis

You told me once- a while back that if I needed a compass I could use yours....Well, I need it...May I borrow it?

*Yeah- I know it is blurry, but hell, you do not *need* an actual clear view to know that he conned his poor cousin to get in that water- while his ass sits in a boat drinking beer!*

Pimp Daddy Rex: Now about that beer?................

Me: Your on!

Thank you Rex for your time! Look forward to that beer!

callie

People...Can I just say that when stuck in Atlanta- in already 70 suemthing degree temps with a humidity of Satan breathing on your ass that traffic bites! My commute to work is around 20 minutes...However on this day of sun- my commute was an hour and 10 minutes! Thank you to whomever you were to cause not one- not two- but *all* lanes to be blocked from *all* directions. Sitting in my truck I had time to put on my makeup- drink my soy yogurt stuff- and heck I even had time to get a good jog in by jumping out my truck and running around it a few laps. Holla!

Ok..so I did not do that- but it was a thought.....I hate sitting there people...Hate it like liver at a pot luck luncheon after someone tells you they are bringing fried chicken. I want to beat someone down and repent afterwards. People.....School is almost back in- which means a grouchy 12 year old. I think he is just having a moment you know? He did confide in me that he signed up for Drama.. Like thats something to be ashamed of? I had to break it down momma style:

Me- "Babes, I don't see why you feel ashamed to mention that around your friends..Do you know that all those men you see in the movies and tv they had to start somewhere- so they took drama..in school....One day I will be going to see your movies!"

People-he hugged me and told me I could see them for free! Recognize! I aint paying for one single ticket! On the other homefront news- Can someone give me a *logical* reason of why there is a small puddle of water under my kitchen sink- when the pipes are dry? Because apparently the assholes at my apartment complex- cannot fathom a reason..... So- if you come upon this post give me some ideas because I am at a loss..... *ps - yes I have a trash disposal- but that connection is dry as dirt also. and no- I have no chemical spills from any cans or anything of the sort.*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jimminy Christmas I sooooo have to update you all on the Neighbor who loves me..LOL Ok...so...recall my telling you all months ago about the little man downstairs that has my time logged ....For those of you that do not know- I will fast pace caffeine high tell you. I have a neighbor who is Hispanic who is married *but does not think so* who is always running out to meet me when I leave for work, and come home from work...He like knows my whole schedule. And so- to try not be mean- cause he is a nice guy- I told him I had a big boyfriend that was a bounty hunter that visits from time to time, and that he is also on TV...*laughs* so- any ways...I was out yesterday doing some things to my truck..ya know..the coolant - oil-transmission refills....little stuff..And behold..he comes out..offers me a beer.. * I decline* and then he says:

Him-Hello!

Me- Hi-

Him- Hey, you know what cho doing?

Me- umm yeah...it's easy stuff why?

Him- I can help no?

Me- ahhh no...

and I laugh....

Me- How is your wife?

Him- my wife?

Me- yeah..your wife...how is she?

Him- Oh she fine....she mean

Me- yeah?- cause your mean?

Him-Me? nahhhhh...I not mean....I like you

Me- Dude you so need to go back in your house

Him- I jus kidding...Hey you need a hug?

Me- nope..... Want me to hit you?

Him- O you mean too!

Me- yeah..I can be....

and I laugh some more....and this is where he says his little good byes and scurries back into his home.....Oh- yeah- he goes back into his home- and heads straight for his living room window. How do I know you ask? because when I jumped in my truck to crank it- I saw him staring at me through his blinds....Yeah.....he has issues....Time to think of a new plan...

We had a burglary in my office a few days ago....And it was not like it was major stuff that was taken..Only little things- like mustard packs, ketchup packs, raisins...things like that...And then one day I heard this hellacious crash- and there we caught the thief!

What made it funnier- it fell through the ceiling -was wrapped in all this fiberglass and wire and was still holding the box of raisins it stole. Aint THAT a bitch!

I was trying to figure a way to do this post- without being one sided- and then it dawned on me- there really is not a way. Either you are-or you are not. So- With that being said this post is not directed to *everyone* or is it? The other portion I was thinking of when doing this post was based on my beliefs.... True we all have our own beliefs- and I am not saying you all have to agree with me- we can agree to disagree- however in order for me to do this post as with others I have had to lived it per se'- and believe in something in order to coincide with my thoughts....... So with that....Let me proceed.......

As you know for the past 5 months I have been going through a completely different phase in my life. Some of you know of it personally and some of you only know what I have posted in lil bits and pieces here and there... But no one truly knows but me... I am quite astounded by what I have learned of myself in these months- and have been also in communication with a few other people via email and discussion boards-groups- in sharing my thoughts, my growth, my views......




We all at least I think majority of us all have heard of the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden.... For those of you that have not heard of it- I will paraphrase it in speedy sense. Bascially God created everything- including Adam- and out of Adams rib he created Eve....Eve was stunning in *every* sense of the word...She was created in the image of God and had imparted upon her Gods essence. Now- in this garden were a few trees that Adam and Eve were able to partake in- but there was one in particular they were instructed not to eat.. The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil......All was well- until something so beautiful in disguise approached Eve- and deceived her into basically saying "Hey, it's ok to eat it..God just doesnt want you to be all that- like he is." And so she does....Not only does she enjoy it, but she offers it to Adam who grubbed on it as well......Therefore the fall of man has begun and so has the Big Lie...............

The Big Lie I am referring to has been imparted on us Ladies since the time in the garden- and throughout the ages... Since before we were born- this same deceiver has been plotting a course in which to annihilate women all together.... Why? Well, depending on what you believe think about it..... Eve was created with a purpose... In her creation she has all of these spectacular attributes AND is able to carry within her the ability to give new life. Now- I am not about to get into the debate of Abortion- Religion- or anything of that nature. Not that I can't- but I just do not choose to in this post... This post is to inform my sweet sisters that since we have been born we have been plotted against- and therefore have lived under the lie that we are nothing.........

Let's look at a few things.....Women have had and constantly have to fight to be recognized- whether at work- in the home- wherever. There are women in parts of the world that are not able to speak- and are challenged in how to think. There are women that are mutilated physically to dehumanize them...to take away their pleasures as being women.. And yet that deceiver still prowls and throws us other things in the mix- to break your spirits.... Those words whispered:
"Your worthless, ugly, fat, you think to much, you are dissapointing, you don't matter, your too sensitive...." I am sure by now you get the point..I am sure you can think of more.... I am sure that majority if not majority *all* of us have heard it and can perhaps write a book.... And yet the deceiver still eggs it on upon our backs...He incorporates- The concept of Beauty....Beauty is to be this- not that, and if you do not fall into the THIS category you do not matter........The deceiver then begins to set up obstacles in our path to keep us hopeless..... Family members, friends, and what better tool than that of Men...........

My sweet sisters all over the world- we have been living under a lie. The Lie that we do not matter and this is why. I am here to tell you that is further from the truth.... YOU and I have been created with qualities and gifts that you cannot possibly imagine. And yet when you live your life in that saftey zone - it is impossible for you to recognize it.. I have explained or more so mentioned a few times that a womans Beauty is her worth! Some of you have sent me emails and have mentioned that you did not know what that was... Your worth my dear friends- is your Heart- you Inner Depth and Spirit....It is the focal point, that so called wellspring of what makes you- YOU...You have a need in you to be Romanced, to be Needed, to be Protected, To be Loved and Cherished with that sense of Adventure.

And yet throughout the years and ages- we are told that we have to give up either or more in order to be so called accepted...I ask you this question...Accepted By Whom????? When you recognize that worth in you- then you get to that A-ha moment which is what I have gotton to- that my Beauty is WORTH being pursued, fought for, and cherished. And then there is another lie that the deceiver has imparted upon women..... Being Alone.....in life......therefore we at times seek relationships out hoping that it lasts- hoping that it fills the void..And deep inside it doesn't...Because we are still living in that lie... I can assure you- that once you embrace your worth, the other lies will dissipate- as will the lie of being alone...Does this mean that I personally want to be alone for the rest of my life? Of course not.. I am merely stating that because I have embraced my worth as a woman- I can wait happily enjoying my life - until such a times comes.

Now- keep in mind I said earlier that this was not to say *all*- but a good majority..... Never the less Men...You are weak....You are not so much as weak in the physical tense but you are weak in your abilitites and masculinity in exploring a womans worth... You are given basically a few things to bring you compatibility with women..... You enjoy a good fight or challenge, you enjoy adventure that rush- and you enjoy aspects of Beauty....However these gifts that have been imparted upon you- have been used in ways to harm women. Therefore it makes you weak. You no longer take the time to Fight for your woman, you no longer enjoy sharing that adventure that she seeks, and you basically no longer equate her true essence of Beauty...Instead you use her Feminimity as part of your fight or challenge.... In your minds you calculate the length of time it would take to sleep with her... In your minds you listen to certain things she speaks and use it to benefit you.... In your minds you look at her with physical eyes and make snap decisions on whether or not she fits your world- your standards, only to re-do those so called standards........

Riddle me this........When you so call *find* the woman of your so called dreams- why must you have another? Hence the challenge...You have a need to conquer something else..to calculate.....

And yet...this is enough for now..I am sure perhaps you may be somewhat overwhelmed, or your shaking your head saying- Thats not true...thats not me...Well, before you send me any comments- or emails- think long and hard and be honest about yourself before having me respond..............especially if I know you personally......... Until then...look forward to part Two.

I still long to sing the song of a siren
not to harm- but only to glimpse at the man that I would soon behold.

callie

I have a dream....................



To travel out of my comfort zone and help a child or family in need in a far away place.



Or even, just to share a hug...a smile......

I'm working on it..... Now tell me, "What is YOUR Dream?"

-callie