Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Wednesday, September 26, 2007 "Yo! I am spent....burned out....still not feeling 100%- so how bout I give you all the stage? Marvelous Dahling! What is it I want you to do? Well- how about you contribute something- OR ask a question...Yeah...Can today be that? *Just ask the coolest piratess blog queen a question day.*
I promise, I will be nice... I will not be here on Thursday, so I will post your Q and A'z Friday! aiight? lurvin ya'll callie callie rocked you at12:12 PM 14 Comments: 
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 callie rocked you at9:41 AM 14 Comments:
Monday, September 24, 2007 A- is for the freakin acorn that fell on my head while walking to my office...I wish I had a sling shot to beat that squirrel down that I heard heckling me....B- is for the bags under my eyes from not enough sleep this weekend. I will have to invest in hemorrhoid creme this afternoon to fix that problem. C- is for the movie CRANK that I watched last night and it totally freaked me the heck out! Jason Stathom rawks ladies.... D- is for the Imitation Dairy Queen that gave me the runs...I think the ice cream was old...truly...I am crampin still like a mofo since Saturday. E- is for the excitement I had prior to the Dairy Queen episode- because I got a library card! F- is for the FINGER that suddenly appeared when someone cut me off and he blamed me instead of his own recklessness..Yeah- screw you too butt muncher. G- is for the re-incarnation of Ready Freddy Mercury- imparted upon the jogger wearing bright bright BRIGHT orange booty shorts that were so tight- they could have advertised how latex paint looks on skin. H- is for the hearty har-har I belted out as I saw that sight! I- is for the Indian Mango Chutney that I used for my coconut spring rolls for my movie munchies on last night, and the itchy rash on my arms and neck 30 minutes later.... J- is for the jackass in letter F. K- is for the kickass Hawaiian Potato salad that I am sure my friend Pele knows of..Want the recipe? Holla L- is for the Lurve I have for all ya'll! I know...I rawk.... M- is for the money I lost at the imitation Dairy Queen..I doubt they will give me a refund.... N- is for the NO I told my son when he wanted me to leave him alone at the Library while I attend a womens meeting on Saturday...He is still my baby.... He will get over it. O- is for the Oh My exclamation that left my lips when I witnessed the late Freddy Mercury in those bright, bright, BRIGHT orange booty shorts. P- is for the poo experience from said imitation Dairy Queen...... Q- is for the .......Q is for the........ Q is for the.....Hell....you name it....... R- is for the much needed rest I need. S- is for the sexy black dress I am wearing to a gala event to Kentucky Fried Chicken. A single woman such as myself has to create her own date nights. T- is for the book The Thong Also Rises that I am reading. It is really funny and I recommend you look it up on the internet for a synopsis. U- is for the Undersink problem I mentioned to you all a few months ago that no man answered.....slackers....Anyways- it seems and turns out it was my faucet. The water was leaking under the faucet itself which in turn created the puddle..... V- is for the question of: What would happen if I took Viagra? W- is for "What the Hay?!" Letter V don't matter... X- is for.........X is for..........X is for.....whatever..... Y- is for YO! Z- is for zee you later on peoples! lurve, callie callie rocked you at7:24 AM 7 Comments:
Thursday, September 20, 2007 Arrrgggghhhhh My purty handsome gents and lovely ladies! It seems this piratess has missed yesterdays Pirate Day- alas here I am to claim my gold and pirate bootey!Arrrrgggghhhhhh First off this Piratess does apologize for the absence on yesterday, But I be dealin with a bit of millennial scurvy-better knows as "sick as a dog" arrrrrgggghhhh...Corporate America...This Piratess would suggest you sucking her left nut if she had one- alas, I do..They are located higher than the norm and bigger than what ye mouths can hold! Arrrrgggghhhhhhh...... Herez also a toast for all me mates that sails the high seas lookin fer adventure- or better yet instead of sailing the ocean seas- we drive on asphalt...Arrrggghhhh still lookin fer adventure arrrgggghhh... Raise your glasses Mates! This toast comin from the Head Piratess to all me fellow ladies within the crew to all ye handsome men! Arrrggggghhhhhhh.... "Herez to the ladies that sit on the mens faces, Herez to the men that get up in the mornin and don't wash it off!!" Arggggghhhhhhh Arrrgggh Mateys! Momma is still under the weather and asks fer your patience the next few days.....Until then! Continue sailing and inform me of who stole my gold so they can walk a Piratess Bitches plank! Arrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!! callie rocked you at12:35 PM 10 Comments:
Tuesday, September 18, 2007 A question was posed the other day from a friend that I never really have given much thought too...... "Do you believe in Soul Mates?" When I sat back and thought about it, I had to send her a message to inform her that I needed some time to process it. When I say process it- that means I had to really research not only my experiences, but also that so called definition and terms of the words- Soul, Mates- and then how those words would be applicable to the meaning of the word Soulmate. After a week of processing this- I came to my own personal conclusion. A Soulmate would basically imply that another person shares in your beliefs and other things which raise the compatibility factor beyond your expectations.....There have been maybe perhaps 2 of those times I may have felt that level of compatibility and yet when I considered the demise of the relationships, I found that expectations are raised too high of one another. So much so that when the persons of that relationship fails in an area- we lose sight of how to recover. I do not believe in the terms or aspects of Soul Mates. It sets up the idea or the so called pretense of a dream entitled: Perfection..and yet we are not perfect at all.....Would it be nice to have? Perhaps..I only say perhaps because I would not want things to be perfect...That means you have to work ever so hard to keep it perfect, which adds additional weight of expectations- and a sense of falseness of who you are as a person..... Ummmmmmm....your thoughts? callie callie rocked you at10:38 AM 23 Comments:
Friday, September 14, 2007 Ladies and Gentleman- we interrupt this posting to bring you some very interesting email...Or as I lovingly call it:
 From: "Sorry- can't disclose the info for all ya'll" To:"Nalani T" Date:Wed, 12 Sep 2007 21:16:18 -0400 Subject: You Hi callie! i just wanted to say that I think you are wonderful and I would love to meet you! I will be in town at the end of September and would like to take you out to dinner. Email me back! Peoplez! First of all I posted it here because I thought..Ummmm this is quite interesting..And I like sharing things with you all, and also because some of the male readers that I know will definately give me that *big brother* thought process....ya know the one... "Yo Callie, it aint alright to see this dude yo!" Relax! I was not going to..In fact I sent a very cordial email back letting him know that it was going to take alot more than one email to meet me and let alone have dinner with me...That takes time to build that ya know? Besides..I already have dinner plans with my good ole friend Rex cause he likes owes me a beer whenever he stops screaming like a girl from that skunk whippin his ass... *winks* You all HAVE to read his blog- that story had me rollin! Another good friend of mine JERRY ! Now Jerry is good people... When I am blue, I just mozy over to his site, and bust a gut laughing at his thoughts. I thought *I* was insane....This guy truly is- AND he comes up with the funniest graphic art thingies I have ever seen.... Another insane person.... BLITHER. I am convinced now that she does not have a job because every time I go to her site, she is either drinking, gambling, slapping her husband in her dreams *but it turns out to be real life when he awakes and starts screaming*, OR she is out traveling with her girls, and chasing Tink her dog around who is just happy being Tink........Enuff said.... Holy Batman! Can I just say that I was jammin yesterday while driving to the grocery store! And you know by the way I have to drive like 30 minutes out of the way because the grocery store near my house is like the Ghetto grocery store...Man...They have 20 sumething cashier lines and only 2 cashiers..... They have peanutbutter..no jelly.... Milk..no cereal... That store is so ghettofabulous that they have Oreos- without the cream in the middle...Your basically just licking a cookie..Like a dog biscuit... Anywho- driving out of my range for decent groceries - I turn on my radio *which by the way I have to hit it with my fist to get it to play sometimes* don't hate- Retro in the Metro people! All 80's music... I started off with Wang Chung- and then found myself falsetto singing to Fine Young Cannibals... "She drives me crazy.Woo-Woohoo" and then...Oh my gosh people! Freakin Milli Vanilli...."Gurl you know it's true!" People- I don't care what you say about them, you know you were all running around wearing the little bottoms of a mop on your head pretending they were dreads so you could act like them...Don't play. I know! Just like when Michael Jackson came out with his cooler albums all of you went out to buy parachute pants, a white glove, and penny loafers.And when you couldn't get that ensemble together you stuck with just a t-shirt and black jeans with a fake monkey on your hip introducing *rubbles* cause you know he would have tried to sue you for copying if you said Bubbles...People..You cannot pull the wool over my eyes...For the ladies though we all thought we were either freakin madonna or one of the bangles..Some of us couldnt decide and just took the easier route and threw shit together and called it Cyndi Lauper. Yeah..we were having fun.... The 80's!!! I sit back and think about how cool the 80's were..we are all geeks, nerds, or cool.... I was a wannabe cool chick but got stuck in the geek category...Truly...I tried to audition for basketball.. I thought at that time "hey- black people should know how to play this game and I will have alot of black friends..." and then I went for try-outs. I thought I was the freakin bomb people! I had my mom go out and get me this cool jogging outfit, and tennis shoes for shooting hoops.... I just knew I was going all pro people! recognize! Your Callie, shootin some hoops...The coach gave me the ball and shouted some kind of obscene practice drill and behold I was a freakin hot mess! I couldn't dribble...Well I am sorry! I cannot run and bounce a ball at the same time....I tried to shoot, and the ball just went all over the wall instead..I dont think it ever made it to the basket...Oh..And the pissed off highlight of the try out... WHY?????? People...WHY????? was I not able to stay *on the court*???? meaning I was sliding all over the place...Ummm could it be that instead of freakin sneakers with rubber material I had shoes with no rubber...but some kind of plastic coating..People...my mom didn't buy my tennis shoes she bought me skids! No freakin air buddies but low ruddies....The coach blew the whistle called me over to him snatched the ball out of my hands and told me to not come back. ever. No problem...I went where I was wanted and needed...Freakin ROTC.. Air Force Yo! I can still swing a freakin bayonet- and do cadence marching! The Air Force would have been proud of moi. I aimed high yo! Ok...so now that I have finished thinking about my days of bright colored clothing, lace baby doll socks and the ever fabulous Duran Duran hit song Reflex, I am outta here. You all have a great weekend and try and relax...Work smart- not hard. Holla at a blogwhore people for your entertainment pleasures! callie callie rocked you at12:45 PM 12 Comments:
Thursday, September 13, 2007 Music-can have an impact on our emotions from time to time...People- taking heart felt words-emotions-and setting them to tones that resonate deep into our souls.....
My Mood:  "Cold" excerpt-by: annie lennox Come to me Run to me Do and be done with me (Cold cold cold) Don't I exist for you Don't I still live for you (Cold cold cold) Everything I possess Given with tenderness Wrapped in a ribbon of glass Time it may take us but God only knows How I've paid for those things in the past Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath Cold is the colour of crystal the snowlight That falls from the heavenly skies Catch me and let me dive under For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes......................................... So tell me..."What's your mood?" callie callie rocked you at9:47 AM 10 Comments:
Wednesday, September 12, 2007 Ya know my peoplez..Who ever came up with the saying" Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" needs to be bitch slapped. I mean so hard that their eyes roll around in the back of their heads...Like in the Exorcist ya know??? Why do I say that? Because words do... Poor Britney Spears.. I feel so bad for her...And yet- where are all those people that thought in the beginning she was all that? Let a person get sidetracked and people are out to crucify the poor girl..... I personally don't think she looks fat......My only gripe was that whoever keeps doing that horse hair bonding hair job to her needs to be fired... If you are going to do fake- do it well. Check this out.. I don't know if you guys have a Walgreens...Well basically alot of you outside of the US don't...But anyways- it's a little store that carries like drug store items with some extras.. We have a Drive Thru on all of ours.. I wondered why and then I just *had* to test it.. I would like to submit this report ladies and gentleman. I drove into the little drive thru area and the little lady came to the window and asked how she could help me... "Hello Maam, I need a box of Kotex brand Super Plus Tampons, A Caramel Nut Brownie Luna Bar and a Diet Dr. Pepper please." Do you know this little lady actually got all that stuff and rang me up??? I almost asked her for fries and ketchup but I bit my lip. Way kool eh? In other news... The Callie girl has been playing the hell out of some ghetto racketball people! Ok Lemme clarify this for all ya'll...You know some edumucation... First of all- I pay too much for my apartment with amenities to have those amenities changed and or renamed.. Hence the case of our Tennis Court.. It is no longer a tennis court- it is now the Soccer court thanks to my friends from Latin America... So now what do a few of us have to do? We have to mozey on to the freakin racket ball court and do the freakin dew there! People...I showed up on Sunday and played with my son, and I wish I could say and tell you all that I am badder than Superfly pimpin- but alas I sucked. He kicked my arse...Triple time! On the last set- he then looks at me and says: "Mom, can you teach me the FUNDAMENTALS of playing racket ball?" I look over at him as I am dry heavin like the roadrunner on crack and say: "Baby, we are playing racket ball with tennis rackets..How fundamental is that yo?" After the final set- he ended up half way carrying me back home where I had to sit and stretch for a good hour... I went and played the following evening again with him and I think we tied because Momma knew how to hit the ball in short strides when close to the wall to keep him running most of the time..... *people- I do not run* and yes....I played yesterday with some of my new Latin American friends...One was named Ronaldo *and he was cute all sweaty and such* the other was Javier..He reminded me of Jesus so I didn't stare at him as much...Anyways.....Ronaldo and I were partners and played with Javier and his friend- couldn't catch his name.... I would like to report that Ronaldo and I kicked major ass! I not only spared myself the embarrassment of dry heaving, but I bought a cool sports bra to keep the twins in and in place- which helped alot..... Werd! So....Tonight no game..But tomorrow?! Oh someone better be ready to bring it!..... Ohhhhhhhh...I sooooo forgot to tell you guys this....OK...for those of you that have been hanging with me through the year- you recall my experience with the neighbor downstairs right? REFRESHER COURSE for the new people: Keep up...*winks* Got this neighbor downstairs that times my coming in and going out. Tried to hit on me a few times- but I lied by telling him I had a boyfriend that worked for INS...and well he backed off majorly...Ok so....He did an Emergency EVAC! I got home on Friday and there was all this *stuff* in the apartment. My son is smiling at me like a happy pig in mud... He stated the little man downstairs asked if we wanted his stuff and he helped him bring it up.... People..We got a beautiful dining room table set - a new microwave, a large screened tv, and all kinds of pottery...clay pottery...decorative stuff..... I asked my son.."Is he coming back?" Nope! He said we could have it- he was going back to Texas..... Well people...I am gonna miss him somewhat..running and chasing me down with his beers...I shall have to drink one this weekend in his honor.... And now people....In your honor- I must take my leave because this luna bar is to good- and I cannot eat and type at the same time.... But hey! Who Loves ya? "ME"
callie rocked you at12:34 PM 6 Comments:
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 No Words.......Just Silence............
 Photo Taken By: Thomas E. Franklin (Thank you Mr. Franklin for capturing America- during Adversity still with Spirit of Courage) callie rocked you at7:38 AM 0 Comments:
Monday, September 10, 2007 With Life being a Highway people, you need to ride that Mofo ALL NIGHT LONG! Keep going..When you come to a 4 way- knock the other driver out of the way and keep movin...Got a flat and busted tire??? Bust a Barney Rubble move on your vehicle and thump your way on! I don't care if you have to do 3mph and flag people to go around you.. Keep Movin! Why am I saying this? Because people- LIFE will come at you so hard at times to detour your heart and your emotions that sometimes you just wanna give up...Don't! You grab it by the balls and throw it to the wall and Keep Movin!!
I have been told that I live on the edge...I was trying to define that in order to comprehend it- and this is what I came up with since it was from a *male* point of view... Not that coming from a male point of view is bad, but males and females do not think alike....With his statement I received it as- always into something.....really just having a blast.... But of course wouldn't you just know it- he was referring to being so emotional.... Ummmmm...this statement coming from someone who is emotional with so much baggage he would need more than a mule to carry his load...And yet- I am emotional because I am a woman...It is my make-up... I won't apologise for that..... And yes..I do live on the edge...I believe that each day we make a decision whether to let Life beat us down, or Get back in the game...I am one that I may get knocked down, and punched severely at times, but I will get up swinging....... Yo! Don't give in or give up! You keep movin! As Malcom X would say: "By any means necessary" And of course when all else fails....Blog....*laughs*  callie rocked you at1:47 PM 10 Comments:
Friday, September 07, 2007 ~Whoa~ is right people.. It was brought to my attention that this month marks my first year blogging! My 279th post- today! How kool is that? Although I love writing- I love the people that I meet in this avenue...Let's take a trip down memory lane about what I am pleased about and all the other stuff eh? 1. I write about my personal life. Not every little detail mind you, but enough to give you the reader a look into my world. 2. I have "personally" met some awesome people and looking forward to meeting some more of you... 3. When my real family sucketh muchly, I can come here and spend it with my virtual family and it's great. 4. Last September I had no idea that people would come to this site, and I have over 12,thousand visits and I am tickled as punch about that. 5. Last September I was going through some disturbing things...March of this year- a bomb went off in my world and I went through some major shit versus the disturbing things. This September I am truly a new person in attitude and of what I want out of life. In other words, I have grown...ALOT...... 6. I am honored and pleased to have a few of those people that I met last September, to still be here with me- so it is not only I celebrating this - but you as well..... 7. Today looks better than yesterday 8. Tomorrow looks even better. 9. I am happy and blessed and ......last but not least...... 10. You *ALL*- every visit, every comment, every tease and even every tear means alot to me. I am truly thankful for all of your visits, and feedback..Your courage and so much more..Though you may feel like another person on the opposite side of the pc screen, you all are more than that to me..Your Family! Have a great weekend! Much Luve to ya! Callie callie rocked you at2:37 PM 13 Comments:
Thursday, September 06, 2007 Thursday! ....Today. Is. Thursday. I am ready for the freakin weekend... People just seem to annoy me this week.. Not you all because at least you all some class and common sense.. I am talking about the people that have nothing better to do than to come up to you, and ask you stupid stuff all day long, and then wonder why I sit there staring for a moment before responding.... "Hello??? Here is your sign!" "I am staring at you because my flesh wants to confirm how much of a jackass you really are- but I am learning how to deal with it, because after all, you are a jackass and will still be one once you walk away from my desk!" Example? Well sure..Lemme dig in my box of tricks and just fling something to you all! 1. The man that cannot read the sign... "NO SOLICITING"....In walks Mr. Man in his suit and tie with a briefcase... He wants to apply for a job. I politely tell him- Sir, unfortunately you will need to apply online- we do not accept resume's in this manner..... Naturally perhaps the only thing he heard was: Yes I can accept it.... So he continues to thrust it at me with questions. Well at whose attention can I give this too? Well, can I get a fax number? Can I have a personal email address ? And then the ultimate of all questions: Well I have already gone online and noticed the position still there, can you tell me who is the Hiring Manager so I can send it to them via mail? "Jackass, it is time for you to leave- now..." I wanted to say that...I felt the little ticker going off in my heart and in my head..and yet I managed to stare at him- with a smile...No words exchanged..Just...A..Stare...and a smile....... Needless to say he got the hint and thanked me and walked off.. I do believe I heard him mutter and call me a bitch.... In fact I am sure he did so I decided to give him a few birthday gifts on the way out..I called the other buildings on the property, gave his description and told them he was tresspassing in the event he showed up trying to pass off his resume'. Sure enough...He decided to do just that...Only he was met with *this bitches* security officer who gladly escorted him off the premises... 2.Oh yeah! And the ones that call or come in for an Interview- "Hi I have an interview at such and such a time...Only I do not know where to go...." ok...no problem...Who are you here to meet? "Ummmmmm...Ahhhhhh.....Well, I cannot recall that either....Ahhhhh...Ummmmmm..." Ok...this is not really a big problem. I can try to requestion this for another Hint.... What position did you apply for? "Ummmmm...Ahhhhhh....It was set up for me...."............Jackass...How in the heck do you show up - now probably late for an interview and not know anything? So you know what happens now? You have before you a panic stricken applicant who is as bright as the sun on a cloudy day, and me trying to play a board game with them reality version wise. Never a dull moment people..Never.....Did I ever find who she needed? Sure..Albeit 15 minutes later...But yes I did..... 3.And lest I forget to mention.....My good friends at Dunkin Donuts...I go in to get a white hot chocolate....Medium...I pay for it, and wait.....and wait.....and wait.....Ummmm..let me rethink this for a moment.. I walked in and there was no one in line...I am still standing here and 300 people have all come in and received their cups of joe and decorated sprinkled cakes, and I am still standing here...What gives yo? So I go back to the counter and see the gentleman that I gave my order to, as well as my money...HE is now working in the drive through....So..I flag his ass down and as nice as I can I say: "Excuse me, Sir?! I have been waiting now for about 15 minutes for my white hot chocolate..I still have yet received it-may I have it now?" He looks at me and does this: "Oh Snaps!" Look and says... "Maam. I am sorry, we do not have any white hot chocolate." Ok...So when were you going to tell me.....I just told him to give me my money back and left..So here I am now...pouting. sulking.cramping. and flooding like the mighty river I am of the crimson tide from being on the rag- with no white hot chocolate....no love.... Oh and for your guys that just went ewwwww- when I mentioned I was on the rag. Get over it. It's life. by the time you get to know me, you will have earned a MANs MONTHLY KNOWLEDGE AWARD....You will learn by me and others on this board how to walk proudly in your Manliness to go into any store- head straight for the personal hygiene section and just rattle off: "Honey needs the super plus tampons, and the night time slender pads with wings, Summers Eve unscented wash cloths, 1 bag of oreos, 3 pounds of dark chocolate, and a partridge in a pear tree." Smile you handsome men of today! And with that- this chica is outta here! Holla! callie
callie rocked you at8:30 AM 20 Comments:
Tuesday, September 04, 2007 People! The jolly fat man is almost here to deliver me some Christmas Cheer...Unless you live in the ghetto like I do- then we all gaze at the sky only to see some thin haggard looking fellow skimming our walls with a rope- flashing his smile of goldly falsness looking like Lil John on Crack..."Say What?"- "Ok"....*laughs* So- check it....Christmas really is coming quick and I wanted to go ahead and let you all know now- if you expect anything from the Callie Girl, you need to sling me an address.... You are more than welcome to request a gift- however- don't be shocked when you open it and all you get is a key chain that says "Atlanta" or something like that...Be happy to know my fyness thought enough of you to drive somewhere and plunk out my savings can that I normally use for Dunkin Dounuts to send you that I lurve you gift...... Oh- but I must state to a few people................ KEV: Tell me which Beef Jerkey you liked so I can just buy those- and I have no idea what little cake thingies you liked so you have to be more descriptive..... Freakin Italians I tell ya....ya send them a care package and they get all funky wit ya making demands and shit....*smiles* That Guy: DO NOT ask for anymore baby oil dropping on my body photos...... The FBI has been stalking me ever since. *winks* Wanda: I have no freakin idea if your address was right cause I never got a returned card-so I am bettin someone thought I sent you some money and took your card. Jokes on them... Pete in NZ: I have your address still and got you covered. Tell your better half not to be jealous, she is getting something also, as I did the same for Kevs wife, only I found out she became addicted to Beef Jerky and has not been the same since. Erwin and J: This time around versus the other times I am understanding I will need more than the norm of 25 stamps to send you something again..... As for you other people.....I will make executive decisions and will send you something especial just from lil ole moi....Know why? Cause I roll Like that People! EMAIL ME at aolani_06@yahoo.com Now make sure you all put in the Subject Heading....Sumething Interesting...Like... "YO here is my Christmas wish list and my addy..." Know why? Because I am so popular along with getting mail for porn, implants, dating, and male enhancement juice that I will accidentally hit Delete, and well your mail will go right it. I am glad I am back at work on Tuesday..I am tired as all get out, cramping like a MoFo and already want to run away again...I hope you all had a great Weekend though...Tell me about it! I really want to know...... holla! callie PS. Big Phat Edit: CHECK IT PEOPLE!!! If this was not the cutest! Pele- *in my blogroll* created an Ad for me..*laughs* I think it is awesome....  |
