Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
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Saturday, December 29, 2007
I am doing this early, I know. But I wanted those of you that are a part of my blog to know that I was thinking of you- each of you especially those that are beyond the sea and of course time zones.I really do not think you truly understand how much I value each of you. Regardless if some of you I have not had the chance to meet, I have come to great passions in appreciating each one of you and honored to call you "friend". Some of you have been here since the conception of the Realm. some of you have been gracious enough to carry my burdens and I in turn have been humbled by carrying some of yours. I look back on my year of 2007 and I think it royally sucked. Deaths of people I knew, Deaths of relationships that I have had, Deaths of my spirit at times. And yet, here we are. WE survived and continue to survive.
So- it is now the beginning of a new year. 2008. We made it. although with sweat and tears we made it. If there is anything that I can say that I will be asking for in New Years resolutions it would be perhaps things that some will not understand or agree with..So..bear with me as I pour my heart, and allow each word I type to touch some part of you, because it is indeed out of true warmth that I extend these to you.
I wish for all of you peace amdist your storms.
I wish for all of you passion in living, not merely exisiting.
I wish for all of you the grace of forgiving and forgivness- as this is how all must truly move on in life.
I wish for all of you zest and awareness in others as also of yourself.
I wish for all of you love....love in every aspect and in every fiber of your being.
I wish for all of you joy in each day. If anything joy in knowing that *someone* truly is thinking of you and wishes you well even if you do not think so.
I wish for all of you a true awakening of your spirit to desire and dream. Though some of us have felt or believed that dreams do not come true, or will not come true, I believe they do and will...I want you to believe in that also.
I wish you all health. I know that some of us are riddled with aches and pains in ourselves as with watching those we love suffer in this way. I wish you all health in every area of your life. whether it be the heart, mind, soul.
And last but not least, I wish you all adventure! Adventure in challenges that may seem to take you out- or those that cause you to just sigh in amazement. I wish you all excitement and adventure that causes your hearts to soar to the limitless skies. THIS is my wish for you all.
Let us now within the last few hours of this year, look back as lessons learned and experiences treasured. Let us look forward to Life again in it's fullest with the appreciation and knowledge of experience.
I so love you all....and I am blessed to know you- and continue knowing many more of you.
~callie07
callie rocked you at2:17 PM
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Friday, December 28, 2007
It has been a while has it not my little pretties that I gave you all some random thoughts from my chair! Therefore, I shall aim to please. and for those of you that are new to my site, join in.
1. Why is underarm hair on women considered gross? *just askin yo*
2. Don't you just hate the antiperspirant that does not go on clear? it leaves white marks in your clothes.
3. Why is *THAT GUY* so suave? I think years ago they made a one hit wonder song about him..."Rico - Suave"..makes me wanna put on some chaps and a doo rag and hop-skip and jump.
4. What is it so hard about saying- "Hello" when you visit peoples blog sites. I thought that was correct blog ettiquette?
5. I got 2 hater letters for the Hawaii vs. Ga game on Tuesday. I used it to scrape off the other unseen boogers left at my desk by that disgusting perp. *yo! to the ones that sent it, it went to great use!*
6. I signed up to be a part of the Jimmy Buffet Parrot Head Georgia Chapter . I can't stop humming Margaritaville...*shhhhhhhhh...it is so like the only song I know.*
7. Valentines Day is around the corner. I hate Valentines Day. I already plan on calling out of work.
8. a 25 year old mechanic that looked at my truck gave me his phone number. I threw it away. I felt like it would be a crime to go out with him. even though he was cute to boot.
9. Dixie on my blogroll does not know this yet, but she is gonna lend me her green sparkly wig. I think it is toooo cute.
10. Pele- aka Angie does not know it yet, but I am gonna take a chance and just pack up shop and move back to Hilo Hawaii late next year. Yeah. I have had it with Georgia for a while.
11. I miss Jerry in my blogroll.. Someone please tell him to get his brain back in check and get back to blogging. I am having Jerr shakes.
12. Kev...in Italy....Stop flirting with the foreigners as a roadie and you and Rimbina come back to earth. geesh..enuff fun already.
13. Who on my board -out there in Mexico keeps one foot in Tiujuana, and the other in California? say Hola or Hello already! geez louise.
14. Think what you want, but I saw this picture and started to laugh. DAZD- this would be a great "Caption It Photo."
15. I have a coupon for a buy one get one free Whopper from Burger King! woohoo! Wanna share?
16. Does Monica Lewinsky still have her clothing line?
17. I love to hear people from up North talk...Cawfee, Pop, ya know the words. it's as if someone stuffed cotton up their noses and it gives that nasal flair thingy.
18. the fire alarm went off in the cafeteria....we had sandwiches for lunch today....that is all.....
19. I am once again cutting my hair. thinking highlights. ummmmmmmmmm pondering.
20. thought for the day- Boldly go where no man has gone before. Unless it feels good the way you have been doing it.
~callie
1. Why is underarm hair on women considered gross? *just askin yo*
2. Don't you just hate the antiperspirant that does not go on clear? it leaves white marks in your clothes.
3. Why is *THAT GUY* so suave? I think years ago they made a one hit wonder song about him..."Rico - Suave"..makes me wanna put on some chaps and a doo rag and hop-skip and jump.
4. What is it so hard about saying- "Hello" when you visit peoples blog sites. I thought that was correct blog ettiquette?
5. I got 2 hater letters for the Hawaii vs. Ga game on Tuesday. I used it to scrape off the other unseen boogers left at my desk by that disgusting perp. *yo! to the ones that sent it, it went to great use!*
6. I signed up to be a part of the Jimmy Buffet Parrot Head Georgia Chapter . I can't stop humming Margaritaville...*shhhhhhhhh...it is so like the only song I know.*
7. Valentines Day is around the corner. I hate Valentines Day. I already plan on calling out of work.
8. a 25 year old mechanic that looked at my truck gave me his phone number. I threw it away. I felt like it would be a crime to go out with him. even though he was cute to boot.
9. Dixie on my blogroll does not know this yet, but she is gonna lend me her green sparkly wig. I think it is toooo cute.
10. Pele- aka Angie does not know it yet, but I am gonna take a chance and just pack up shop and move back to Hilo Hawaii late next year. Yeah. I have had it with Georgia for a while.
11. I miss Jerry in my blogroll.. Someone please tell him to get his brain back in check and get back to blogging. I am having Jerr shakes.
12. Kev...in Italy....Stop flirting with the foreigners as a roadie and you and Rimbina come back to earth. geesh..enuff fun already.
13. Who on my board -out there in Mexico keeps one foot in Tiujuana, and the other in California? say Hola or Hello already! geez louise.
14. Think what you want, but I saw this picture and started to laugh. DAZD- this would be a great "Caption It Photo."
15. I have a coupon for a buy one get one free Whopper from Burger King! woohoo! Wanna share?
16. Does Monica Lewinsky still have her clothing line?
17. I love to hear people from up North talk...Cawfee, Pop, ya know the words. it's as if someone stuffed cotton up their noses and it gives that nasal flair thingy.
18. the fire alarm went off in the cafeteria....we had sandwiches for lunch today....that is all.....
19. I am once again cutting my hair. thinking highlights. ummmmmmmmmm pondering.
20. thought for the day- Boldly go where no man has gone before. Unless it feels good the way you have been doing it.
~callie
callie rocked you at3:33 PM
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Thursday, December 27, 2007
~LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE PEOPLE!~
Go Hawaii Warriors!!!!
Go Hawaii Warriors!!!!
Yes people! I am stoked! This is so important to me to represent my Ohana at the Big Eazy yo! I got with mah gurl Angie and inquired about my obtaining a jersey in time for the game, and I will heed her recommendation and will have that piece of authenticity Fed Ex'd like tucks pads to a hemorrhoid. I need it fast! I have already been calling my local sports bars to view that on the big screen! To bad Angie, we would have rawked sox at the joints on that day! I have a bail bondsman card set aside in the event someone wants to talk shit. I will be there in the flesh with Guiness in hand ready to sling it back! recognize people! 2008 is the year! and I am soooooooo proud of my Warriors... Oh.....and before I forget......To my lovely adorable used to be roomate- mother of hookers..Anne. It's ok my friend. I won't hate on you for rootin for your DAWGS and braggin about how your dawgs are gonna whoop some Hawaiian ass.....Although I have no Guiness in hand at this moment due to the non-drinking policy at work, I will be lame and tame on you as I respond with a loud and yet subtle:
"What the hell ever yo!" First, your saggy dawgs gotta catch em! but be forewarned, my Warriors will not go down without a fight and that's ok. I can't wait to see your reaction as one of my brothers sit straddle wise on one of your beloved dawgs faces with a plate of spam and eggs-usin their ass like a legless table. recognize that. Oh I am so ready for this!
Hawaii Warriors-
GET SUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS....Angie- I got mah present and I am tickled!!! Mahalo!!
callie rocked you at10:21 AM
6 Comments:
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Are we over the Holidays yet people? Can I just catch a breather. I hit the snooze button twice this morning. Not once but twice. On the second go around I just laid there in my bed and wished for just a moment that I was wealthy so I did not have to move one tired -bloated- bone out of my warm and cozy bed. yes....Pele and I keep the same menses cycle so I am sure her Christmas was just as bright as mine.Alas, I ended up trying to make the best of Christmas even though I had to work...Yes..and I won't even bore you all with that kind of drama.truly. but let's just say I had a few choice words for my boss and it was not Merry Christmas Yule related. more like- bitch slap the taste out of your mouth you treat me like crap words of frustration. I was done...I got home around 6pm finished last minute cleaning touch up's *cause my mom was coming to town*......by 9pm I was balled up on the sofa snuggled with a blanket sipping on a Guiness watching my son play some video game. And then she arrived! Finally...my mother, and her sister who dropped her off . They both ooooooo and ahhhhhhed for ever about my apartment and how I had it decorated and how cozy it was. I was pleased people. considering that I have been living in Atlanta for 6 years or so and my mother has never visited me. This was her first visit.
I helped her get settled in, and we sat and chit chatted about nothing. I was not much of a talker anyways as I was already tired and cramping, and the stench of pinesol, bleach, and lemon verbena were working a crazy hallucination in my mind. It was best to continue drinking my stout and not say much. My son on the other hand was giddy with joy in trying to figure out what was waiting for him on Christmas morn. Christmas morning I was awake at 6:30 am. I had people texting Merry Christmas starting at that time from as far as Washington DC. I was touched...I lay there in bed though in silence and cried..I know...I am a sap....and yet...I for some reason felt bad or more so alone.....Another year of singlehood- another Holiday alone. and I cried. I am allowed that....
I finally got up and showered and put on my favorite jogging outfit and took a walk outside. I was amazed at how at 7:15 am on Christmas morning, there was a hush of silence...Everything was just so silent...I walked around my neighborhood and upon coming back to my apartment decided to pick up tree limbs for my fireplace. YES I do have firewood, but the wood I got sucks ass..It won't light at all, even with the firestarters. I walked in the house with a handful of wood and my mother is laying on the sofa and says to me:
"You mean to tell me you have been out all this time picking up firewood?"
my response: "I needed the walk and yeah..I was feeling a little Tom Hanks from Castaway this morning."
I re-lit all of the candles in my apartment, started a fire, and made breakfast. Home made cinnamon rolls, coffee and or tea- *I had lemon zest tea* , slow cooked oatmeal loaded with raisins, brown sugar and cinnamon .............my son finally got up and showered and loaded me with tons of kisses on my cheek as I fixed his plate. afterwards we gathered in the living as I watched him unwrap 2 gifts. He was polite and happy, although I know he was expecting more, but was sweet enough to not say anything... I then looked at him and said- Dude, I think there is another gift for you somewhere...Go find it. It took him an hour to still come up empty handed in which case I brought it to him. The only thing he asked for....
"Guitar Hero III"...........now for those of you that do not know of this- it is basically a game in which the gamer plays the guitar according to the notes and keys that flash on your TV screen- to numerous songs that are known for their guitar pieces...Ever since yesterday morning, up into the evening, I have listened to FreeBird so many times that I am ready to throw Guitar Hero out of my window. *laughs* but....what can I say....? He is tickled and I am touched to have made this happen for him........
I am now back at work...wanting to be home, as my son leaves with grandma in an hour for a week to celebrate Christmas at her home.....
I will then be truly alone....me....my fire...my wine.....and of course my thoughts......
callie rocked you at10:06 AM
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Monday, December 24, 2007
Just call me
"Betty Suarez"....without the perks mind you.
callie rocked you at1:59 PM
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Saturday, December 22, 2007
You all will not- I mean will not believe what happened.
This morning as i am getting dressed and on the phone talking to someone
at the same time *cuz I am multi tasked people* my son knocks on my bedroom
door and says-
"Mom, something happened to your truck window." I of course in the pit of my stomach knew what that meant, threw on some jeans and ran downstairs to you guessed it-
a busted window people...YES...someone shanked my window - stole the cd player out of my truck, and I guess that was it. The GOOD news....My sons Christmas gift that I fought for last night was in the trunk part undercover hiding- until I could sneak it in the house. YES. all is good with that.
So- this morning I spent it at Home Depot looking for plexi material to do a band-aid job until the window from the mechanics comes in. I couldnt find exactly what I was looking for so I ended up buying some vinyl material for windows, clear cover and freakin duct tape. My little window is now "Gloriously Ghetto Fabulous"....I know.....I know....The rain has now turned into Hurricane Status, but I gotta keep it going you know? I have to still maintain some dignity and calm in the storm- for my kid. Who was just scared of how my reaction would be. Alas, I am ok and have not broken into a tear stained sobbing mess. I am just gonna hit a bar and drink the fuck up. *cheers*
In other news, my friend..my handsome friend THAT GUY called me last night!!! With his sexy self. Oh and yes.....Mister Man, I assumed you didnt get bumped from the flight cause you know I would have threw something on and picked you up...Ummmmm...maybe thats a good thing...hehehehehe...Alas, I miss the poo outta ya, and I was stoked to get that mystery call after so many years, even though you tried to shank on me about my finger. you jackass. *winks*
Woe it aint me ya'll... I am not giving in to this drama right before christmas yo! I am thinking of all of you, and Pete....In NZ....my card should not be frayed with brown edges because of your lack of shipping skillz. See.. thats what happens to famous Artists when you get all famous huh? kidding. no problema man. I am patient.
For the rest of you. Have a wonderful Christmas and know that someone here with a busted finger, window, and whatever else is thinking of you all!
~peace, callie~
callie rocked you at3:10 PM
7 Comments:
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I know you like my blinkie doo tag. ante up will ya. There are many people that drop by and well- let me be the first to put it out there...with love of course. I just do not know whether to say Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Day, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Yule Season...Heck...just BE HAPPY YO!
I was thinking- what the heck am I gonna write about today. My finger is feeling much better. still looks gross but it does not hurt as much. I could talk about how I about cussed my boss out- but because I am still employed and gain a check and going on a cruise in march- I subtly cussed them out without the excess verbage.
and then I decided to look through my archives to see where I was on this date and I laughed. not because it was extremely hillarious, but because I have come a long way. That is one thing I dig about blogging or journaling. You can look back at your self and perhaps see all of the beauty queen answers of "If you were chosen, what would you do?"........I laughed because I was reading about some of the things I wrote about which were true, but from a bad frame of mind about my life at that time. and then there were a few things that just riddled me clueless with laughter like my being at the airport to visit someone in New Jersey, only to all of a sudden go throwing up in the trashcan in front of everyone. some mysterious bug..I was ill for days....and when I did feel ok to blog again, my good friend "That Guy" decided that would be a good time to blast me out and accuse me of weapons of mass destruction of the projectile vomit kind. *classic*
and then I was reading where last Christmas, I was alone...literally...I was by myself...and instead of moping I went to Starbucks, Barnes and Nobel...etc etc...It was also that time I cooked this fabulous salmon croquette dinner and while trying to open the can I slit my thumb open on the rim of it, and didnt have any bandaids and used a tampon to act as one. *what better device people?* ohhhhhhhh yeah...and Erwin Loyd sent me his first CD, an author sent me an autograph book of Erotica- *which I no longer read* but all in all- it has been a wild year.
So- now that I have perhaps bored the stew out of you all- I guess I just want to say- Happy Holidays...I wish you all peace and blessings to you and your families... 2008 is around the corner! Let's leave 2007 behind and prepare for a great bang for the coming New Year.
callie
callie rocked you at3:42 PM
11 Comments:
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
A Bloody and expensive Christmas people....Why? How bout on Thursday my truck went out on me in traffic after work. It was dark, cold and rainey. My skirt was no longer sleek and trendy. It was wet and clingy. My sweater was no longer bushy and comfortable. It was heavy and droopy. an hour of waiting for a tow truck, a hit and run vehicle chase *because* one person was speeding and failed to see the hazard lights blinking on my truck, slammed their brakes and someone hit them, and drove off..needless to say I watched open mouthed. 2 Strangers stopped to help me. One driver -stranger rolled down their window and offered me their umbrella......The tow truck came and took my jeep and I to my apartment until my mechanic could come take a look... I got home- pulled off my wet clothes and cried....I was just overwhelmed because the cha ching noise started to fill my head. I got a ride on Friday to work. 2 people came by my apartment that day to look at my truck. Both cited- Water Pump..I cite the following hypothesis....
1. Water Pump
2. Thermostat
3. Crank Shaft Sensor is loose
Saturday another mechanic comes by... While he was looking and giving his opinion. He started up my truck- pressed on the gas hard. my fan cover started to fall off between the engine, and I am sure by now you all can picture what I am getting ready to type. The motherly reflex of catching something- kicked in.. I reached in to grab the cover...only.......the fan got me first......
Now- have you ever heard the stories of people being bitten by sharks but they do not realize it at that moment due to shock? Well, I was not in a shark attack but according to the blood and him shouting I guess I was in shock...I didn't feel anything at first...I recall falling to my knees in the grass-gravel stuff and holding on to life of my hand..which now is squirting blood-along with pain...Heat seeking missle pain. I began to double over and cry...I recall *and I state recall because by this time the sky is looking awfully black* the mechanic starts screaming and shuts the truck off- drops beside me and starts forcecully trying to grab my bloody hand as I am fighting him for it.. and then I hear the words:
"Sweetheart, I need to look at your hand to see if your fingers are still attached, if not we have to find them and put them on ice!"
By this time I think I did sorta pass out amidst the dry heaves of crying. He looked over my hand and then said:
"Shit your lucky! You got all of em, but the bleeding is coming for a really bad cut on one of your fingers. Let's get you inside..."
I get inside, my son flips out- his best friend starts crying because I am crying and holding what I am sure looks like a bloody stump. I am doubled over the kitchen sink when my son appears with a first aid kit of herbs and stuff... The mechanic takes a gauze and soaks it in Witch Hazel and puts it on my wound and I about lost it...After he cleans away some of the blood he looks at me and says....
"Sweetheart.....Your nail is basically half on and half off. The cut is where the nail bed is and it looks like the fan cut inside or under the nail into the flesh. We need to cut this nail off....He grabs the clippers and hands them to my son who is horrified by now looking at his mom turn 5 shades of white. The mechanic is behind me holding me and my hand so tight to help cut off the blood..My son tries once to cut the nail but he starts crying and can't...The mechanic then gets the clippers, tightens his grip on my hand as I am halfway leaning into the kitchen sink and he counts and rips the nail off. after all is said and done, that night I was 3 goody powders, 3 tylenol and 4 margarita coolers to the wind.
My finger is still bandaged and still hurts, but now that the blood has dried and I am taking care of it- it does not look extremely bad...puffy perhaps....a little blue...but it is not leaking puss or anything so I think that is a good thing right?
All in all- that is why I didn't post on yesterday. Not only is my truck still being fixed, but I have been heavily medicating myself as needed..Never a dull moment in my world people...never.....
BLITHER! I got my card!!! Thank you!!!!
now- off to take another goody powder..I hurt.
callie
callie rocked you at10:01 AM
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Thursday, December 13, 2007
Please ladies and gentleman. No pushing.... This was the episode at my place late last night right in the middle of watching the Second Season DVD of Ugly Betty *which by the way people is my favorite* ....when suddenly the following conversation ensued....
My son- "Mom, something smells like it's burning."
I paused the movie and did the little gopher alert stance trying my super sensitive nostril sniffers.... I did smell a little smoke and got up to check the oven and the stove- *because the other night I made brownies and accidentally left the stove on with the already done brownies still in the oven..yeah get the point.* Everything was off and I could not find the source so....... We proceeded to watch more of Betty....and then it kind of reeled from there....
My son- "Oh Snaps! Mom! the tree is on fire!"
It wasn't really on fire you see.... Long ago at a day care, my son was being rushed out of the building due to a kitchen fire. It scarred him....It got to a point that when he and I went to Tokyo's Japanese steak house one time- that when the chef did like this onion volcano flambe' demo my son went apeshit and jumped out of his seat and ran to the lounge area. Heck he just got back in the mode after watching a few Chris Angel Shows along side with a few JackAss videos and now he is becoming a pyro when it comes to making a Christmas fire in the fireplace.
Alas, the tree was not on fire, but kinda smokey. It appears maybe it was a bad socket or something...maybe bad bulbs..I got them at the dollar tree instead of Home Depot. and well...my little pink tree is kinda burnt on the edges, with a few crispy flamingos and a singed penguin on a surfboard.... But people! I am the gravy on the mashed potatoes! All I did was unplug the smoking villain and threw the tree with ornaments outside on the backporch. Be prepared for anything yo!
In other news of the wild... USPS sucks major butthole! And for those of you that do not comprehend the acronym...USPS= United States Postal Service. Angie my wahine from da islands- sent moi.. *and I did shed a tear* a Christmas gift people....!!!! I was touched...but guess what....???????? Since I was not home to sign for it, they took it back to the Post Office. Now THIS is where stupidity falls in.... No one...NO ONE at the Post Office location where this delivery was logged back in and returned can be found. I kid you the hell not! I have been on the phone every 2 days speaking to man in charge asking for info. and it's the same... *Eeyore voice insert here people* "well, I just don't have an answer. We show where it was delivered and brought back, we turned this place upside down and cannot locate it, we do not even show where it was sent back to the sender."
Ok...lemme break this down to all of you how I replied back in Mary Poppins tone...
"Sir, I understand that with the Holiday season things can get misplaced, perhaps even overlooked. However, considering that you have the same confirmation info that I have, do you not think that you have a thief in your department?"
Speechless..was.He..... So...people....be on guard with that crap this year. It's a shame shame shame......
My coffee high is running low! Now I need to come up with a plan B for Holiday Decor...any ideas?
callie rocked you at9:35 AM
12 Comments:
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Have you ever peed on yourself?I think I just did...slightly..
I was cleaning my purty desk in order to decorate gangstah-style Christmas
and I was fidgeting with a piece of wood stripping in order to decide to either re-tape or strip it off and suddenly-
The Death Scream of an Office Admin...... I grabbed the inner portion of the wood strip with my finger and there...on my finger....a big gooey booger...
Enuff said..I am done.. I peed on myself.
~callie
Ps. Alex Trebek heartattack additional comment........ Do I need an Aids test? Hepatitis test? I mean...a booger is a bodily fluid right? shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttt......................
callie rocked you at4:24 PM
3 Comments:
Monday, December 10, 2007
Should I thank Santa, or perhaps Hollywood for at least giving me some pre Christmas Cheer?
Need I say more???????
*singing*
Tis the Season to prepare
Falalalala lalalala
Daniel Craig in Speedo Underwear
Falalalala lalala
Chasin Bad guys
Nifty Gadgets
Falala lalala lalalalaaaaaaaaaaa
Bond is back
in full force magic
Fa-lalala- lalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Need I say more???????
*singing*
Tis the Season to prepare
Falalalala lalalala
Daniel Craig in Speedo Underwear
Falalalala lalala
Chasin Bad guys
Nifty Gadgets
Falala lalala lalalalaaaaaaaaaaa
Bond is back
in full force magic
Fa-lalala- lalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa
"Bond,James Bond"
2008
callie rocked you at1:39 PM
2 Comments:
Friday, December 07, 2007
Yo! Tis the season to beat some ass, Falalalalalala people! I am over it like trying to give a blow job to a penisless man. This...is why...Hold on cause I had to wipe a bead of sweat from my arched brow....
PARKING- There are some rules that some of you need to abide by. First, do not honk at me when I am behind someone else- mainly 15 thousand more vehicles that are waiting for a parking spot. It is not my fault that other people are waiting to squeeze into a spot and there is no way for me to go around! You jackass! Sit and wait in line just like everyone else! Sip your cafe au freebie, gab on your worthless prepay phone and wait!
Christmas Decor- For the love of frosty the snowman on a bullriding machine! Putting up the lights does not mean stringing lit cords from bushes over the river and through the woods past grandmothers house you went! It does not mean putting up a false baby Jesus manger and adding cabbage patch dolls with the 3 wise men bearing gifts of coors light, and it does not mean using blow up condoms to replace the tree ornament balls that a cat got a hold of. Go and drive around neighborhoods in the upper parts of Atlanta and steal some ideas...Not their decor mind you, but at least make it a night time drive by and learn a little sumethin on decorating for the holidays. It doesn't take much..In your cases in the above mentioned scenarios Less is Best. Go for the Charlie Brown tree and decorate that scary item by using big bushy volumes of garland. Something!!!!
Mall Shoppers- I do not like shopping with you all. I like you, but I do not like shopping with you... First you walk to slow and talk on the phone at the same time and expect people to just waddle behind like a stream of ducks...... No. Move out of my way or I will hump you into the new year! When you *know* and this is what kills me, they know when people are behind them because the pedestrian traffic starts to look like a conga line, and they go slower and talk to whomever it is they are chatting with and just expect the world to go at their pace. Funk that noize! I will ride you into the ground to the point that you will feel my breath on your neck. Yes..that close....Keep it movin!
To Give a Gift or To Give A Bad Gifter people- If you have no idea what to give someone give them a gift card to Walmart. The store is universal AND someone can find something even if it is a pair of socks....Do not go the extra mile and buy a freakin fruitcake....And you *know* the ones I am talking about...The ones that are from WalMart or perhaps your own freezer in which you scored 25 of those logs at the price of 5dollars... I do not eat fruitcake and I hate the dried up 15 year old pieces of fruit in them! Give a Card....Give a gift card...But skip the fruitcake.
People this is only a few quirks...I am sure some of you can contribute for todays blog. So Git Er Dooooone!
holla
callie
callie rocked you at11:30 AM
6 Comments:
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Dear Santa,Yo! I am not going to bog you down as I know you are busy and all trying to get your sleigh packed and all that stuff but I wanted to take a moment and send you my Christmas Wish List if I may. Keep in mind you can choose whatever floats your boat. As long as I get at least one thing, I am straight like a penis on viagra! Let's Do this!
1. Peace on earth....Ok...so I know It won't happen but everyone says it and I just thought I would give you a good warm up start.
2. Choco Love Chili and Cherries. Santa, my life is so not full of passion- this is my one vice. Choco Love Chocolate in the Chili and Cherries brand. It makes me smile.
3. Hockey Tickets. and Santa I am asking for non nose bleed seats for at least one game.
4. I know that I can ask for a trip to Hawaii but I also know that I would be sending a letter of resignation as well as living in a tiki hut by the ocean because I would not return back to georgia. So instead I am requesting anything special from Hawaii to come to me. Even a pineapple. As long as it says- sent from Dole factories- Hawaii...It's all good. I am not picky.
5. A Journal Book. I am almost finished with my ninth one. I need another one.
In other words Santa, just whatever. I really do not need anything this year...As long as my son gets covered with a few of his requests, Christmas will be great!
Love, Callie
Dear Callie,
I received your requests via express Santa Mail Cargo as you stuck only a mere 500 stamps on it to ensure proper delivery to the North Pole. By the way- no need to ask how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie roll of a tootsie pop. You have defied all spit licking efforts in obtaining that record- and I am sure your tongue is either blistered- or perhaps scratchy like that of a cat.
Alas my dear, let us go over your list. Your list is very simple and humbling. Although many would request the finer things in life, your list requests the simple yet meaningful things. Many do not believe in the simplicity of life which is one of the keys to true happiness. Peace on Earth my dear, is attainable, it is merely the acceptance of people wanting to change their hearts. After all, this is the season for compassion. Yet I often wish compassion continues year round, and not only at Christmas time. I received your sons Christmas Wish list the other week. He mentioned a Guitar Hero and last but not least for you to be Happy. Indeed both of your requests will be fulfilled, if not in the exact formats- it will be taken care of. Dearest Callie,- the Peace on Earth that you stated earlier shines in you and will continue to spread. Think nothing less. Wishing you a Blessed Christmas!
callie rocked you at10:46 AM
12 Comments:
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
12 Days of Christmas Callie Style Yo! Hey, would you guys have it any other way????
~12 Days of Christmas~
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12 months of maid service
11 Bath and Body gift cards
10 Hockey Tickets
9 trips to Hawaii
8 months paid time off
7 swanky cruises
6 Bally Gift Cards
Antonio Banderassssssss
4 Butlers too
3 months free rent
2 dozen roses
and sparkling platinum diamond bling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Top that Jerry! *laughs*
callie rocked you at10:15 AM
0 Comments:
Monday, December 03, 2007
I got so many emails letting me know that I was missed and ya know what? I had a little bit of eye spillage water works glisten my cheek reading some of the love people. You RAWK!
Updates Updates- Ok. I was planning on spending some time with my friend and taking care of him for a few days until I got the call that my grandfather died. SoOoOoO I packed up some things and headed to the Tennessee Mountains........ What made this trip not only unique in ways- it was also a time of making peace within myself as with others. I know this may not make any sense- but for the past month and all I have been going through some things, and working through alot, as well as taking care of people....... My grandparents and I did not really have a relationship. I mean- we used too but when drama comes into play- I kind of wean myself out of the picture. Like erasing a zit on a photograph. I went to my grandfathers funeral making ammends with family members I had not seen in basically 12 years or so........ Not only that- but I also saw my own parents that I had not seen in a while.
It was if anything.... uplifting.... I let go of baggage.. and regrets...... I drove around where I used to live and Oh "THAT GUY" if you come across this post, I still saw our kissing tree.... The memories....... I had some fantastic bbq, and I even enjoyed giving the tour with my son. However I think he found it most exciting to listen to my brother tell these ginormous lies on me about my days as a teen..... He laughed...ALOT...and I turned red...ALOT.......
All in all- I am back and trying to get back in the swing of things, so just give me some time ok? Again- thank you to all of you that sent the sweetest of emails to check on me, and to say Hi. It meant alot and does not go unnoticed.....
Wishing you all a great day!
callie
PS.
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for SuperBowl 2008?? C'mon now!
Why not the Boss??? Bruce Springsteen?
Now I have to send an email requesting 3-D glasses that give
captions because I cannot understand a damn thing that man sings.