Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
Sexy Comments From Red Cherry Tags
I Want To Add You!
I Dig This!
I Rock To
Who Is In My House?
I Rocked You Here
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- May 2010
- June 2010
- August 2010
- May 2011
- July 2011
- October 2011
- December 2011
- September 2012
- October 2012
- November 2012
- December 2012
- January 2013
- February 2013
- March 2013
- October 2014
- June 2016
Props Go To
Powered By: Blogger
Layout By: Trina
Check Em Out Yo!
I Support The Beauty of Women
Sexy Comments From Red Cherry Tags
I Support Da Kine
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Yo! People...I got this stress under control you know? So what if my eyes are puffy from crying and not sleeping the last few nights. So what if I sound kinda hoarse when I answer the phone. Just think of me as another version of Demi Moore. I got this yo!It just seems in the past week roaches have just been trying to crawl all over me- but I won't let that happen see. I got a nice big pair of boots on people. grape stompin into wine boots! Sometimes you just gotta say what you feel and then cry a little and keep it movin.
Oh- and for that additional vent- just to clear my head from unnecessary bs- "YOU" Ms. high class snobbed attorney, you better be glad I had been sippin on my calm moods tea- because had I been sippin on Red Bull and taking a ginseng vitamin pack and you rolled up at my desk cussin because this is your last day and you couldn't get back into the building- I would have jumped your ass like the great spider monkey I am! Yeah- the ONLY reason why I am bloggin about it- is because right now- I need this job to pay rent and to be able to take my fine ass and my cutey son on a vacation for my birthday you old hag. When you stood at my desk telling me how I needed to call someone else in security- or what was that you said so nicely? "You need to call someone higher up in security because your pissin me off I need to pack up my office" I just looked at you, and took my time dialing the number - because 1. You don't know who you are f'n with! I am the receptionist that can disable your shit and ghost you where you stand. 2. Late for a meeting? How bout you sit and wait an extra couple of minutes compliments of moi. 3. who was it that you called when that baby bat was flyin around your desk trying to probably nest in that so called wig you wear? ME.........the next time- I will just let those bastards head dive and scream bonzai as they attack. Don't screw with me lady. I may not know all of your analytical jargon for the world of legal business but I do know the word- whoop ass....project beat down...and I also know how to phone a friend in which event I would call my girl Dixie because she is the closest and she would drive up here in her big confederate flag pasted truck that I lurve so much and we would have just given you a gumbo style backwoods redneck beat down. With a quickness. Don't even go there.... PS... Your a stupid attorney to not have caught on that I offered you one of menthos because your breath smelled like popcorn feet- not because I was being nice. heffa
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...I am freakin better people! Rollin Out!
~callie
callie rocked you at1:34 PM
18 Comments:
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I am- who I say I am- I tell the person on the other end of the phone. I kid you not. You all should just bow to this princess for always having something to write to you all. Man...0k so...on late yesterday afternoon I once again get a notice that my income taxes have been rejected. ok...why? because of a wrong date of birth..Ok... I only re-did it 4 times but I can do it again. Wrong.same thing. So I then call the IRS....give them my info..and they tell me to contact Social Security because the information that I am giving them about myself is *invalid*...............Ok...so- I call social security. I am screened with questions and then I am told, I am sorry- according to the Patrioit Act we can no longer discuss any info with you due to not being able to identify you according to the questions we have asked. Please submit an application or stop by your local branch for assistance...... So- I go in this morning..and wait......I sat there from the time they opened until 2 hours later to be told basically, "We're sorry, but after 9-11 alot of peoples records have been shuffled and has become disorganized in the merging of information. We show on file since 2001- that you have been under a completely different social security number, date of birth and location of birth. I am going to need to see all of your indentification to re-input into the system."
And I hand her my passport, my drivers license, birth certificate, and for shits and giggle a utility bill. While she is pounding away on her keyboard I look at her through the glass window and ask her.... "So what is the use of the Patriot Act against Terroism if US Citizens are not being recognized and accounted for? How is it that I have been filing for taxes all of these years and I am just now being informed- albeit 7 years later that my private information has been changed and no-one told me?" She stops typing and looks at me and says: Ma'am, I understand that you may be confused or perhaps upset, but we will get this resolved as best as we can." She then tosses this in about how alot of people are just now finding out that even though they have been legally divorced for years, that it still shows in the databases in social security, that they are still married......Can you believe that?
After she types in all of my information and re-orders a new social security card for me, I ask her- how long will this take to be updated in the IRS database? She tells me to call them she isn't sure, but to not plan on any trips or anything of that nature until it gets all *resolved*........ I get back to work and call the IRS and the nice gentleman that I was flirting with by phone *yes, I had to bring some fun into it, and he played along and said he was available* - he basically stated, that in a perfect world it would be today- however since I was not his girlfriend, and we were not in a perfect world, it would not show up in their systems until the end of February and to check back then....... Ok......my cruise is in March..... I cannot re-file for my taxes, AND I am technically still showing my birthday is the end of March, I have no valid SS# or if I do it belongs to someone else, AND I am born in a different city in the state of South Carolina.......
- am I to have a breakdown now- or wait until my make believe birthday?
~callie
PS... I forgot to mention to you all, this explains why TWICE I have had to participate in a strip search at the airport because my name is on the so called LIST.
callie rocked you at2:41 PM
12 Comments:
Monday, January 28, 2008
It amazes me how people go to school to become Chefs and think they can just charge people outta the ass for these meals that look more like an art exhibit than food. Case in point. I get this email late Saturday informing me that I have a meeting with a social group that I am a part of at this Ritzy like joint in Mid Town Atlanta. Ok....no worries.....I do have to admit that the decor and landscaping of this place was really nice- and when walking in your captivated by Jazz music on the overheard speaker, and the swankness of the place. In other words, instead of a fork and spoon on the table- you get a table dressed in white linen, with overturned glasses and gobs of silverware. I get to my table and start to chit chat with a few people of my little club and this is where my story really takes off. First I am handed this ginormous menu. The *Brunch Menu* at that! Well....Damn! I couldn't understand all the little high tech dining gibberish so I ordered the one thing I could recognize-
Chicken and Waffles people! Would you have guessed anything else of me? First of all while everyone else was sipping on 10.00 half a glass of orange juice and champaigne *those are called Mimosas- a bitch knew that after her first cruise *winks* but...to be paying 10.00 for a half glass of mostly juice I didn't see it happening so I opted for water. Besides I was not enthused with their drinks anyways. Anyways, my little short and thin waitor shows up and asks "What would the lady care for?"
I politely responded all lady like" Yes, May I please have the Chicken and Waffles with a side order of Tabasco?"..... He looks at me and says in a whisper like tone- "I am sorry, we do not have the bottles for your table but I can bring it to you in a small cup?" Okie dokie joe. That'll do....and I waited...and waited...and waited....1 hour people! One hour it took for them to stir the freakin batter and pour it in a waffle maker.. 1 hour for them to dip my chicken and fry it in some canola oil or whatever chefs use....1 hour... I downed a whole pitcher of ice water, chatted amongst people that had their food- and stared at some picture trying to figure out what it was....and then...my food appeared.....Mr. waitor sets it down and I guess my face was a dead give away because he asked with his hands folded...
"Maam, is there anything else you require?" and of course my response in a semi-hushed tone and a smile.... "Well, Sir...no disrespect but what is this?" and I am pointing to something that resembles home fries, but laced with lettuce......
"Ahhhhh..." he says... "Those are home style potatos with Collard Greens"....I about shit my pants people. I kid you not.......First.....my waffle...was half of a waffle...2 squares that were no bigger than my palm. I counted a total of 3 strawberry halves for decoration...my chicken was half of a breast of chicken that was smaller than the waffles put together, and then they added 10 pieces of hard cut potatos slathered or rather delicately bathed by large leaves of half steamed collard greens........
I just smiled and told him ok..and proceeded to eat... Oh they brought my syrup and hot sauce in those little silver plate dipping bowls. People...I finished it and was still hungry. I felt my little stomach do that roll-grumble- hey whats going on thing...and the poor guy beside me. He finished his little egg and toast with champaigne dish and he looked at me and said:
"I think I am gonna have to make a Waffle House or Burger King run." So- you see? It was not just me...After the waitor came to clean up our dishes we sat and waited another 30 minutes for a check....Now.....guess how much my brunch was? 15.00 yo! I handed over my credit card and waited another 15 minutes to bring me my receipt. While waiting though I did a little head scratching while I was viewing the multiple Arts for sale...One in particular just had me stumped. I recognized the other paintings well. One was a family at a picnic eaiting Watermelon. The photo was called Watermelon. I could see that... the other was of couples in Paris at a cafe ..that was entitled: Cafe Au Paris...ok...I gathered that well....and the one that kept me staring was a large painting in black...With neon designs..I thought they were African Masks....and then I noticed the tag underneath.... "Ballet Slippers...price 2,450.00"............ Mr. Waffle House -Burger King man read me well - and he whispered- "Maybe it's one of those that you have to stand far away to see. are you gonna buy it?"
I got home after that meeting and headed straight for the kitchen and cooked a fabulous organic meal I tell you.. My son walks in from playing soccer and says- "Ohhhhh Mom! That smells good and it's my favorite- but didnt you eat already for your meeting?" I just looked at him and responded dryly I dont eat alot of foo-foo food.... I then had to explain it to him....after that he looks at me and says:
"Well, I am glad you didnt like your food cause then you wouldnt have come home and made beenie weenies!"
yeah people! THAT right there is good chef cookin! and know what? That cost me 3.00 to make.
Holla
callie
callie rocked you at1:49 PM
4 Comments:
Friday, January 25, 2008
I am just so glad that it's friday, I can pretend to sleep in tomorrow all snuggled in my Downy fresh scented bed sheets- snuggled up with my Lilo Doll not cause I am a humper of stuffed animals and such but because Hawaii is always on my mind, and my Lilo Doll makes me smile. "Boom!"
Insert Orgasmic Scream James Bond- 2008 Daniel Freakin Craig! "Boom!"
I am not diggin on the new Movie name: "Quantum of Solace" but hey, if this is something pertaining to Vesper ok....But you better kick mucho grande ass in this movie Daniel! and please- wear another speedo and rise up out of another pool of oceanic Jacques Cousteau waters so I can drool all over my popcorn! Do this single women that favor! "Boom!"
Life On Mars? Perhaps a caveman looking dude? Nasa! Do not pick this so called man up and haul his ass back to planet earth! See???? Ya'll are always doin some stuff like that. Leave them there!!! Oh- for all that is precious- I dont wanna die from some organism from Mars changing me into smeagol. puleeeze? Amen. "Boom!"
I am granny panty free today people! I made it through that fiasco of the circular tampon and today I am thong th-th-th-thonging it T- back style! "Boom!"
Wanna be me my Valentine? Make up your mind and send me email.
And since I have not engaged in this for a long time- Let's Do our Daily World News Bit.
Women leave town and children in hands of men
By Julie Gordon Thu Jan 24, 8:49 PM ET
TORONTO (Reuters) - What would happen if all the women were to disappear from a town, leaving the men to not only work, but also take care of the family and the home?
"It will be a disaster, a complete disaster," said Kelly Weatherly, who was sent off for a week at a resort, along with almost all the women in her community of 760, leaving the town and its children in the hands of the men.
(LMAO- this people... THIS IS CLASSIC! I cannot wait for this survey to end!!!)
Hmmm. Didn't I have a house here?
Thu Jan 24, 10:51 PM ET
MOSCOW - Returning home after an absence can mean unpleasant surprises — a leaky roof, a pet's mess, even a break-in. But a Russian woman got a nastier surprise when she returned from her country house: her home was gone, torn down mistakenly by construction workers clearing a site, according to a report Thursday on NTV television.
(One word... PISSED...that is all)
oooooo Whats going on in my neck of the woods?
Using a car might have been better...
Thu Jan 24, 8:56 PM ET
SANDY SPRINGS, Ga. - A bank robbery suspect was arrested while waiting at a bus stop to make her getaway, police said. Channel Monae Gaskin, 22, was arrested Wednesday after a police officer saw her waiting for a bus and matched her to the description of the robbery suspect. She has been charged with robbery.
(2 words... JACK-ASS..... that is all)
Border guards foil parrot smuggler
Wed Jan 23, 11:37 AM ET
MINSK (Reuters) - Border guards in Belarus said on Wednesday they had foiled an attempt to smuggle 277 parrots into the ex-Soviet state -- aboard a bicycle.
(In this debacle Polly got more than a cracker, and was riding in class with all her kin folk on a bicycle across the border.)
additional info on what else happens at this border patrol-
Belarussian border guards last year detained a 19-year-old Russian who was trying to dig his way under the border into Poland using nothing more than a mug. (They were watching too much Shawshank Redemption)
last but not least-
Cops find pot near bottle-tossing driver
Thu Jan 24, 8:55 PM ET
HARTFORD, Conn. - Police said they found a half-pound of marijuana in a man's car after they pulled him over for throwing bottles at a truck on Interstate 84 in East Hartford.
Trucker Francis Lescher of New Jersey, called police around 2 a.m., saying a driver would not let him pass, then started slowing down and throwing bottles at his truck.
(People...this is your brain....This is how your brain reacts on drugs...)
holla back!
Insert Orgasmic Scream
I am not diggin on the new Movie name: "Quantum of Solace" but hey, if this is something pertaining to Vesper ok....But you better kick mucho grande ass in this movie Daniel! and please- wear another speedo and rise up out of another pool of oceanic Jacques Cousteau waters so I can drool all over my popcorn! Do this single women that favor! "Boom!"
Life On Mars? Perhaps a caveman looking dude? Nasa! Do not pick this so called man up and haul his ass back to planet earth! See???? Ya'll are always doin some stuff like that. Leave them there!!! Oh- for all that is precious- I dont wanna die from some organism from Mars changing me into smeagol. puleeeze? Amen. "Boom!"
I am granny panty free today people! I made it through that fiasco of the circular tampon and today I am thong th-th-th-thonging it T- back style! "Boom!"
Wanna be me my Valentine? Make up your mind and send me email.
And since I have not engaged in this for a long time- Let's Do our Daily World News Bit.
Women leave town and children in hands of men
By Julie Gordon Thu Jan 24, 8:49 PM ET
TORONTO (Reuters) - What would happen if all the women were to disappear from a town, leaving the men to not only work, but also take care of the family and the home?
"It will be a disaster, a complete disaster," said Kelly Weatherly, who was sent off for a week at a resort, along with almost all the women in her community of 760, leaving the town and its children in the hands of the men.
(LMAO- this people... THIS IS CLASSIC! I cannot wait for this survey to end!!!)
Hmmm. Didn't I have a house here?
Thu Jan 24, 10:51 PM ET
MOSCOW - Returning home after an absence can mean unpleasant surprises — a leaky roof, a pet's mess, even a break-in. But a Russian woman got a nastier surprise when she returned from her country house: her home was gone, torn down mistakenly by construction workers clearing a site, according to a report Thursday on NTV television.
(One word... PISSED...that is all)
oooooo Whats going on in my neck of the woods?
Using a car might have been better...
Thu Jan 24, 8:56 PM ET
SANDY SPRINGS, Ga. - A bank robbery suspect was arrested while waiting at a bus stop to make her getaway, police said. Channel Monae Gaskin, 22, was arrested Wednesday after a police officer saw her waiting for a bus and matched her to the description of the robbery suspect. She has been charged with robbery.
(2 words... JACK-ASS..... that is all)
Border guards foil parrot smuggler
Wed Jan 23, 11:37 AM ET
MINSK (Reuters) - Border guards in Belarus said on Wednesday they had foiled an attempt to smuggle 277 parrots into the ex-Soviet state -- aboard a bicycle.
(In this debacle Polly got more than a cracker, and was riding in class with all her kin folk on a bicycle across the border.)
additional info on what else happens at this border patrol-
Belarussian border guards last year detained a 19-year-old Russian who was trying to dig his way under the border into Poland using nothing more than a mug. (They were watching too much Shawshank Redemption)
last but not least-
Cops find pot near bottle-tossing driver
Thu Jan 24, 8:55 PM ET
HARTFORD, Conn. - Police said they found a half-pound of marijuana in a man's car after they pulled him over for throwing bottles at a truck on Interstate 84 in East Hartford.
Trucker Francis Lescher of New Jersey, called police around 2 a.m., saying a driver would not let him pass, then started slowing down and throwing bottles at his truck.
(People...this is your brain....This is how your brain reacts on drugs...)
holla back!
callie rocked you at10:03 AM
2 Comments:
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Look...Ok.....For all you men that visit my blog...Don't be angry ok? This is not directed towards any of you because you all that visit are actually awesome. However- today...cause I need a real big hug instead of an enema- I am having a rough day in thought about certain men I used to date, and I have realized that to get me to shake off the blues I need some help from my gurlz. And yo! I am calling you all out. Especially Hope, Dixie, RedAngel and Pele.... You all make me wanna just upchuck on a box of little debbie raisin pies from laffin.So- ok..I am bluesin....and yes..I am having a moment of freakin teary eye monstors but I am trying to keep it on the low low cause I look cute dressed in my green business suit, black skirt, and black leather boots with all my make up on and my hair did and my Toms Of Maine toothpaste smile.
Sometimes....men just wanna make me grab a few 2x4 boards and tie them bitches to their legs while they sleep and when they wake up I am standing there getting ready to go all Misery on em......
GIT. ER.DUN.
~c
callie rocked you at10:07 AM
6 Comments:
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I am the goober people, and even if you don't think I am the goober I still am. *WERD* just thought I would toss that out there. Last night I got conned into playin that Guitar Hero Crap thingy and I totally tried to be a rawk star like my friend KEV who is on freakin Hiatus because he is touring and stuff, and he needs to bring it back home cuz I miss em and sexy Rimbina-his wife, cause SHE is the goober too. Oh ok back to what I was saying- Guitar Hero..3.... Yeah I got to playin around with that thing and realized I must have short slender fingers because those digits were all over that guitar like flies on shit!
Just buzzin all over it people. I tried my best to look like a rawk star- had my tongue hanging half way down my chin drooling a little here and there, I even stood up and had my legs spread *keep in mind after the last vajayjay episode I was wearing a diaper so all was straight!* I even did that rawk star move where they do all that head slingin. And I really tore that up I tell ya, cause my son said- WOW MOM, where did you learn that? And I told him not to hate cause I learned that skill from the guitarist from Metallica, and he just laughed his cutey ass off as I did it, and then I stopped and fell the heck out on the sofa cause the blood was running through my head and I started to get dizzy.
And then my dream was crushed as that freakin announcer robot thingy on that game told me I Sucked and would never be a rawk star. Anthony Kedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers got mad cause I screwed his song- the little 3-d cartoon people started booing me. I gave em the finger. They didnt see it....I wanted them too.
My poor son still told me I was awesome and did my best, and I really took him seriously until I heard the hobbit snickering...... I wanted to go smeagel on him but I let it ride yo!
Oh! I just gotta give this shout out to someone.. Ok..not to someone, but to everyone that counts in this department.... DO NOT COME UP TO ME IF YOU HAVE A COLD! I came back from lunch and the person that relieves me was sitting here with snot bubbles playing in or out from his nose. I just wanted to kick his ass. Dont touch my phone, dont touch my seat, dont touch me, just leave and do not come back. I spent a good 30 minutes of corporate time giving my desk a shoe shine waxing people! If your sick take that home. Don't bring it to work. and clean your damn nose! and now I am betting HE is the booger suspect people. DAZD grab your dna kit cause we are gonna kick some butt.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....How about the Bathroom Bandit is back!!!!! I went into my little private bathroom yesterday and did a 360 about face military style! And yes.....race tracks were all up in that toilet.. only it looked more like a few dogs wrestling in mud- it was scattered,smothered and covered waffle house hashbrown style yo! I only had to pee people- I instead had to camel hump my 5 gallons of recycled water a few more miles to the next restroom. Nasty people...grrrrrrrr.
Ok....I am finished now. just had to get that off my chest. Hang in there people. Friday is almost here yo!
Ps...
"Dont ya wish your girlfriend was hot like me, dont ya wish ya girl was a freak like me, dont cha!"
hehehehe..I crack me up!
HOLLA!
~callie
callie rocked you at2:38 PM
2 Comments:
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
-WARNING-
The following post will contain violent images, bloody mind boggling graphics and of course a dash of wit thrown in. Should this offend you, please use your mouse and click to something else. If not- then continue to proceed/ although Ms. Callie already knows her audience gets a kick out of her mind boggling thoughts and actions, therefore this Warning could be BS.
And I did try and warn you all yo! Check this out... I reached a potent moment in my life when I realized after getting out of the shower a few mornings ago that I had run out of Tampons and Pads. Because I had spent the last 50.00 dollars on other things of importance, I had to make a choice, either create my own tampons and pads, OR use those freakin Instead diaphragm tampons. You remember those right? I wrote about it months ago in my blog about the advantages and disadvantages about using those. I unfortunately had a rough time with them, and therefore meant to send them back to the company for a refund since they offer a guarantee - but I kept forgetting and just threw them in my bathroom cabinet. Alas, I broke down and opted to give it another try....And Surely low and behold, the same incident occurred and I ended up having to text an SOS to my friend *Hope*- here begins the hysteria.
Me: Yo- OK pray. I ran out of tampons and pads and all I have are these freakin tampons
that are like used for tampons and I can't get it out!
Hope: Bear down like childbirth and try!
Now- knowing how Hopes humor runs rampant in her mind I had to hit her back with another message during this moment of hysterical proportions.
Me: Don't laugh. This is sooooo not funny! nor is it a chic thing. I have a vacuum for a vagina!
and of course I attached a non happy face because I was really feeling pitiful.
I mean I was only spread eagle on the bed on top of a mound of towels with one hand stuck in my vacuum trying to extract a device the damn package states is safe, convenient, dependable.
After trying to calm down by doing a few breathing yoga breaths -I give myself a huge grunting push and the bastard shot out like a tennis ball in one of those automatic server machines. I know.I am real sexy people. Maybe this will explain why I am single. and should any guy want to date me, perhaps he would relish the thought of a ping pong shooting companion.
After that episode I dug high and low in my purse and found coffee money and could not flinstone it fast enough to the drug store in which I purchased a box of a more, dependable, non getting lost devices. Oh but the drama does not end there! I sent the company of the get lost device an email explaining my dilemma and this is what they sent back. Check it.
Subject:
Instead Softcup Question
Date:
Mon, 21 Jan 2008 11:39:28 -0800
From:
"Instead Customer Service"
To:
aolani_06@yahoo.com
Callie, I applaud you for trying the Cup again. (applaud my ass people) It often takes women several attempts to get used to using the Softcup properly and comfortably. If leaking starts right away (within 30 minutes) then the Cup is probably not covering your cervix properly. (it got lost so it's gotta be covering something properly) When you insert the Cup, make sure the reservoir of the Cup is covering your cervix. The leading rim should slide all the way back behind your cervix and the front rim should tuck up behind your pubic bone. (It was in hiding like freakin Al Qaeda) If you're sure the Cup is in properly and is covering your cervix you should be able to feel the tip of your cervix covered by the cup's reservoir, and you are still experiencing leakage, it may be that you need to change the Cup more often. The Cup can be worn on heavy flow days, but must be changed more often that on lighter flow days. You may need to wear the Cup with a backup pad or pantyliner until you figure out how long you can wear the Cup on heavy flow days. When the Cup fits particularly snugly into the vagina, it can sometimes be difficult to remove. (Difficult??? Explain to me how much more difficult can this get when your already sending out an SOS?) But every woman’s anatomy is different. Removal problems are more likely to happen if you have relatively short fingers and cannot reach deeply enough into the vagina to reach the rim, and/or if your vaginal vault is long. (Ok..so..I have either short fingers, or a highly developed vagina. Which is it?) One tip: if you cannot reach the rim easily when you are trying to remove it, try bearing down with your pelvic muscles as though you were trying to have a bowel movement. This works even better if you are squatting.(So now I am a squatter) This may move the Cup toward the vaginal entrance, closer to your finger. This is what the nurse was suggesting. (Props to Hope!)It makes removal easier if you are having trouble grasping the rim with your finger. You might also try squatting down when trying removal not just squatting over the toilet, but squatting down close to the ground. (Now I am to become a carpet squatter) This pushes down on the pelvic area, and may bring the Cup closer to the vaginal entrance. You can try this in the shower to reduce the messiness. (Messiness? Ma'am, by the time I finished with that episode I looked like a hacker from a serial killer movie.)If you still have a lot of trouble removing the Cup even with these techniques, you may be one of the 10% or so women who can’t use the Cup, and will have to stick with tampons with a removal string. (sighs- now I am reduced to a percentage, a carpet squatter, a ping pong shooter, and a vacuumed vagina kegel exercising mofo- who will probably keep a man very satisfied or either he will be scared that my suction might overwhelm him. Yeah- It aint easy being green people.)
Sincerely,Mary
INSTEAD Customer Servicecustomer_service@softcup.com
Such is my life...such is my life...
you can find this wonderful device at the following website- just click here!
I personally just wanna slap each one of those women that are in the 90% that just rave about this crap.
callie rocked you at8:32 AM
12 Comments:
Monday, January 21, 2008
?
just ask me.
~c
callie rocked you at11:25 AM
10 Comments:
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Semi Snow is defined by moi as droplets of flakes that are good enough to make a shoe imprint, but not well endowed to create a Hallmark Card Scene. Yes people. this is what we got late yesterday evening, and it was lovely for the moment. Heck, I even jumped out of my truck, threw my head back and relished as the cool droplets powdered my face. And then after that moment of bliss I laughed my ass off as I watched my Latin Brothers and Sisters all bundled up like snow tires trying to scoop up enough semi snow to make a snowball. and I laughed as I watched the insanity of my own child lie in the yard to make what he called a *snow angel*...Little did he know the more he kept flapping his arms and legs, the more semi snow dissipated and he was basically rustling up twigs and leaves...He could have started a forest fire he was flapping so hard.
Alas, this morning I woke up to no more semi snow, but now ghetto fabulous black ice snow. Work with me people. I am trying my best to deliver a visual as best as I can. However keep in mind that now it is raining and has been all throughout the night, the air is mild and yet cooling to a woman like me in pre menopausal states, and now all of Atlanta has to try and drive to work in this sludge and possibly black ice. Black Ice is that sheet of glass on the asphalt that you cannot see, but you sure as hell will feel as your vehicle starts to glide through a red light. I drove to work people doing 35mph and dared someone to honk. I turtle humped it this morning all the while praying to God to get me to work safely, along with listening to my used to be boyfriend SEAL * and I am going to say something real quick..kinda a shout out, pour my heart out...SEAL...I Lurve you!!! Oh you and your dark Hershey colored skin, I would have lurved you long time!!! and we woulda had some purty babies! Trust!* Ok...back to reality....I turtle made my way to work, almost hit a deer and the rest of its clan-and the only reason why I missed was because my cd started skipping and I was trying to work that kink out so Seal would not be stuck in repeat mode on Cra-Cra-Cra-Craaaaazy.
So now here I sit...entertaining all ya'll while drinking my soy fiber shake wishing I was the one curled up in the arms of Seal...*sighs* Ok...a blogsnob can dream right?
~Holla~
callie
callie rocked you at8:15 AM
12 Comments:
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I am worn the hell out people! As I tried to explain I have been running around doing this and that- and creating a few other blogs of things that I like to talk about and do- outside of gas station stalkings, Chris Tucker drooling, and of course Guniess Guzzling and Margarita slingin when the time permits. I know. I am so special and you all lurve me, and I lurve ya back. Hard core yo!So- Updates- One of my blog additions is entitled: BLISS *and yes you can click on the word to go there* Basically this blog I think will become very special in time. It is a female blog and what I want to do is bring more to light the thoughts of women from all over. I have included in the blog roll a lot of female bloggers that have just really impressed the shit out of me with their thoughts and I think they rawk. Some of them are new additions, some are from this blogroll but now have another home to visit. Now- yes, men..you can visit and post comments, but I will tell you honestly- any kind of nasty-bashing remarks to any of these ladies and I will hunt you down like I am on the show cops! *laughs* But I also think it would be interesting to get male points of view from time to time, and yet you all can get insight from women. It's a good deal.
I have also thus far left the comment section *open* so everyone can comment. But beware- once it gets to rolling and I start seeing obscene attacks on anyone being done- I will moderate lock it up tighter than a butthole. get my drift?
So- it is 2 days new. I am still having some issues with mybloglog putting the counter on it, grrrrrrrrrrrr and I am still adding more ideas and things to make it homey. Bear with me ok? Puleeeeze?????????
And for kool introductions....A person that I truly love and admire has agreed to Help run Bliss.....Hope is new to the Blogosphere and I am trying my best to get her involved to air her trials as we all do..LOL She is awesome and I am thrilled to have her aboard!!!
Other Updates-
My son is doing better, his finger swelling is just about down and thanks for your kind words and emails!
I will no longer be doing the bootylicious tour as they didnt pay enough..Ok...I lied.I had no sponsors.LOL
I did not do the Lemonade diet, but I opted for the South Beach program and I am lurvin it like McDonalds McRibs. *and by the way- why did they take such a good thing off the menu?*
Valentines is Coming up- I do not have one- so all ya'll need to spread sum lurve this way yo! and I am available to spread some as well.
We are supposed to get some snow in Ga tomorrow. That my friends is a lie. It is actually poor mans snow. rain and sleet mixed in with exhaust fumes from vehicles that do not follow the clean air campaign act creates a sludge like material called black snow- or better known as black ice.
Other than that- Life is good people! Holla!
~c
callie rocked you at10:59 AM
6 Comments:
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I am so sorry ya'll... As Dazd mentioned, the bootylicious tour has taken it's toll. Ha!Actually not. I have just been that hellaciously busy yo! I am in the midst of doing a few other blogs, one is a travel blog- and the other is a blog geared to women today and then some. I just wanted to get a feel for doing some other types of writing.
Ontop of that- you all recall my telling you that I was nominated as President of the Senior Citizens Club for my church, and well that takes alot. Saturday was our first meeting of the year and they are very excited and want to do everything they are able to do. Of course I have to monitor those activaties because I am too scared to do any more casino runs, and last but not least, I do not want to cause a cocoon invasion with them running out into a swimming pool to go skinny dipping or something like that.
I have also been engaged in mommy duties of a different kind, as now my lil man is almost 13- I had a breakdown on the way home last week while sitting at a rail road track and the thought of him turning 17 in 4 years really took an unexpected toll on my thinking process. He no longer likes for me to give him hugs and kisses on his cheek in front of his friends...He learned how to make brownies which by the way rawked socks. I think I am going through a phase of *being totally alone* in 4 years.......or so......depends on his direction in life. Man. I reek as a mom. Sunday night when I got home from a Study class- he was laying on the sofa and he whispered:
Him- Hi mom, I hurt my hand.
Me- What do you mean you hurt your hand?
Him- ok if I show you promise you won't freak out?
Me- Boy, just show me what your talking about!
Him- promise mom!
Me- ok! I promise now show me.
and he lifts his hand and behold you can see where a few fingers especially one is looking like something out of the hulk.
Me- "Oh Shit!" was my - "promise not to freak out expression."
Him- mom you promised!
Me- ok...but...oh shit! we need to get you to the hospital...Come on let's get some ice on it!
and I forced his hand into a cooking pot full of ice. yeah- his fingers turned a little blue. sue me. I then calmed down *2 glasses of wine later* and had a heart to heart chat with him.... I basically told him that from now he has to stay inside. ok I was kidding. but man......I had to bite my tongue and let him be a man in training ya know? I ended up touching base with my best friend Hope via text...
Me- "Yo!"
I explained to her what happened and with her being a critical care nurse people she freakin rawks! She is one of those nurses that if your bleeding all over the place and in a holding cell- you slip her a crisp 20.00 bill and she will get ya taken care of. She is such a wonderful help in time of need. and believe me people, out of pocket expenses for hospital care would send me over. But she determined that E's finger was not broken, and to just soak on ice and get it splinted. THANK YOU ghetto pharmacy care Walgreens! People- they have every type of splint you could think of! $5.86 later I had my sons finger wrapped in swaddling cloth all to perfection. and the kind I got needed no tape! It was velcro yo! after I got him doctored up I just happened to have looked into those beautiful spanish eyes and he asks me in all sincerity.
Him- momma? how am I gonna write in school?
I looked at him and it then dawned on me it is his right hand- first finger....So- I look back at him and tell him in all sincerity-
Me- Baby, just straddle that pencil in such a way like this *and I do an example* and write like your in kindergarten, OR I can buy you those big fat newbie pencils?
case closed. yesterday by end of day his finger swelling had gone down tremendously...thank you God! and that people, is my current update. I am really trying to balance things out, I am sure I will. It will just take some time. bear with me aiight?
~callie
other than that- I am truckin it ya know? best way I know or can...........
thought for the day from the mouth of babes "elijahism":
Him- "Mom, juan said that rock music is stupid, and you know what I told him?"
Me- "ummmm nope what say ye?"
Him- "I told him it wasn't stupid at all because rock singers use big words that I have to look up on google. that would make rock singers pretty smart."
callie rocked you at9:25 AM
4 Comments:
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Confucius say- "Work like dog, people treat you like dog." "Hold sign on street say- Will dance for better pay- then drop booty like it hot and smile. You then be better than dog, you then Top Dog."and with that people, may I introduce to you my new Resume'.
Callie- "Bootylicious Forevah"
808-fun-time
email: bootyforevah@gotazz.com
Objective: To give high paying clients luxury dance moves from tango-to salsa- to hip hop mogul Janet Jackson- j-lo- Brittney spears neck poppin weave wearin enthusiasts.
Skills: Creative dancer and specialized in using props for the ultimate dance experience. Examples but not limited to: Food, whipped cream *it's a specialty and I charge extra for clean up* Tables, bar stools* although you need to saw the legs down on those because I will fall over* Extensive use of costumes from a well known brand label. "Fredericks of Hollywood" and I am highly versed in the art of shaving and waxing my underarms, legs, crotch area, and upper lip. Holla!
Work Experience:
Jo-Jo's Snack Attack: 5 days
Dancer, Waitress, and all around girl. I walked out when Jo-Jo wanted to charge me extra for stealin a french fry from the kitchen. I told him the sign said "Snack Attack"- and I tried to explain that's what I was havin after my buzz wore off, but never the less, he grew anal. I walked out.
The Kitty Kat Club: 1 year
Dancer and pretend lesbian. See, I was doing good at the Kitty Kat cause I was makin good money you know? Men paid more if they saw two women or more- so I played the game. but I left cause Lafwica and I got into a real bad fight. It was on at the Kit Kat Klub as she ripped off my 25 dollar wig I just ordered from Fredericks! Do you know how much good human hair runs today? especially Silky- Yaky straight?
Why you should hire me:
Cause I put alot of time in my shows of art! When I do a Donna Summer dance improv, not only do you get the song Bad Girl, but you also get a montage of a Disco Beat poppin-platform wearin-turning Diva. Like I am an afro queen on stilts turning round and round on stage- and not hurling once! that my friend takes talent!
My Salary Expectancy:
Let's go for broke yo! Crisp ATM smell good bills!
Hire Me!!!
callie rocked you at10:21 AM
16 Comments:
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
C'mon people...I wanna talk about it..."ME"..that's right kiddies, my little pretties..I wanna talk about moi! Ya know...Mommas birthday is coming up. March 3 to be exact. and of course for my own health and well being I have to start the dilemma of getting back on track with my weight and all- because you know what- the older I get the more my ass starts to spread. I could easily walk off my job and become a booty dropper video girl. But alas, I choose not to be and would rather work on stacking paperclips and getting coffee or tea for the big man upstairs. delightful.Ok..so...I text my friend Hope last night and this was how this started out....
Me- "Yo!"
Hope-"Yo!"
Me-"Hey, you think I should still take my iron pill while doing a lemon cleanse?
Hope-"Ummmm....Guess so!"
People...by the way..I lurve text messaging. I have more text minutes than regular phone minutes! You can text from anywhere. the toilet, the car, the bed...anywhere!.... and also it is really great to just all of a sudden see my phone light up and notice I have a text message. Such is the case with Hope and I.....We text each other throughout the day- night! it rawks...So..basically back to talking about moi, I was given this detox cleanse to try and I was looking over it and had been debating whether or not to try it... I am basically going to give it a go for at least 48hours.....Know what would be totally kool? If someone from my blog would do it with me....LOL Hey if I pass out, you pass out with me. Thats how we roll in the realm yo! But also, I want someone elses opinion and feedback.
Actually, this is different from my other detox program. and ya know before I do any kind of weight loss program it's recommended to detox- then it helps speed things up a bit with whatever program your on....So- last night- I decided to *try* the colon flush...All you need for this is:
A liter of warm water
Pure non iodized sea salt *I got mine from Loco Moco -El Value supermarket. Mortons Salt now carries Sea Salt! so- if I could find this at Loco Moco, I know you guys can find it.* werd.
I made a bottle of this last night- and drank it...ALL.....I added enough salt to where it tastes like salty water....May I just say that at 4 am my stomach started to line up with drummers, and by 4:30 am I was on the toilet praying for the calvary. Thar.She.Blows.
People..I *feel* 500 pounds later... I have this "who ate the canary grin" on my face. I was in such great spirits that I immediately text Hope this morning. Sharing the love you know? only she wasn't all that thrilled and mentioned something along the lines of ewwwww...and chocolate fast...
So......at this moment I am quite alert, my stomach is still playing the calvary....and I am counting on you all to give me a high five every now and then....got it???? Ok...I need to end this for now- cause I gotta get some water so I dont fall the hell out from loss of bodily fluid. So- if anyone is interested in this detox- I am posting it below. Let me know if you plan on doing it- so I can be your buddy... El-O-El...............
Lemon Detox Cleanse- *Drink this all day....no food or anything else for up to 10 days if you want. Not even a chicklet.*
How to Make Lemonade
· 2 Tbsp lemon or lime juice (approx. 1/2 lemon)
· 2 Tbsp genuine maple syrup (not maple flavored sugar syrup)
· 1/10 Tsp cayenne pepper (red pepper) or to taste
· Water, medium hot Combine the juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper in a 10 oz. glass and fill with medium hot water.
(Cold water may be used if preferred.) Use fresh lemons or limes only, never canned lemon or lime juice
nor frozen lemonade or frozen juice. Use organic lemons when possible.
As for the salt water cleanse-detox- it is best to do it in the morning on an empty stomach. So they say... give your self some adequate time though. Your in a hole if your stuck in traffic somewhere and your leakin poo. jus sayin yo. And I guess you drink 1 a day? I dunno...each person varies.
callie rocked you at8:25 AM
12 Comments:
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Yo! It has been a while since I have been on a yank feast of daily topics so lemme get straight to this.....Gas Station Chronicles!!! *dundundunnnnnnnnn* This goes out to the mangy man selling the cute lil pup at Christmas time. How I wanted to just smack you down like Rick Flair from the WWF and just shout Woooooooooooo! Your a piece of work- trying to sell me your cute little puppy for 50.00- and then when I said no- you dropped the price at 30.00...Crack Head! If I had a way to sneak that cute lil guy into my apartment and keep him safe and lavish much love on him I would have. Just to keep you from making a buck off of him. AND he was cold you piece of vermin! shivering like he was made for the movie 8 Below but he wasn't that type of dog..........grrrrrrrrrrr....so instead, I went inside and paid for my gas, grabbed a slim jim and a big gulp and a small carton of milk- went out to my truck and bundled that cute love up so tight in my favorite work out towel and poured him some milk in a little cup I had. And what did you say???? "Lady you seem to like him and he likes you....25.00"................... alas, I still couldnt because I knew taking him home meant a 12 year old getting attached and life in my home would be utter turmoil.
Shout Out Message to you Chris Tucker! Should you evah grace my blog with your handsome presence, know this: "I wanna git wit you and git er done!" I saw you in Rush Hour 3, and you sang that Prince song like you knew what you were doing. With your fyne cute self. Hey! I wanna have your baby Chris!!! And I know your sister- and I am great fun, and your momma would like me!!! Call a blog whore will ya????
And heres to you Mr. Man with that bad ass child of yours screamin like he lost his 2 front teeth and then some...For all that is magical in Walt Disney World, you should have snatched that hellion up and swatted him a few times. All that screamin because you told him no he was not getting a toy...Oh.......and when he fell on the floor kicking and screaming and you looked at him and started walking away with your buggy, I just wanted to go to him and stand him up-look him in the eye and give him a small taste of Linda Blair...truly....that would have gotton his attention.......
And heres to you Mr. Man that always has something to say to me each day regarding my make up, my hair do, or my tops that I wear. although your comments are flattering can you get the hint that I do not want to do the nasty with you? Shall I just be blunt and say that your way to over weight for me, and I do not want to feel your stomach sitting on my face or my back? Please...accept the Thank you's and Have a nice day and move it along...ok???? ok.......
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I feel so much better people..Don't you?????
~callie
PS...Dr. Phil, I think your whack and your tv show sucks donkey balls. Holla!
callie rocked you at8:33 AM
12 Comments:
Friday, January 04, 2008
I have been tagged ladies and gents by the handsome DAN THE MAN *click on his name for his site* thank you very much. I have to admit, when I first came across it, I was shocked because this guy is such a romancer. He will make a great catch for some lucky young lady. Alas, Dan sent me a message and was interested in knowing about my goals for 2008. Well, I did not want to leave him hanging by expressing that one of those goals was to eat at least 20 bags of OREOS - I mean after all, they are my favorite cookie, so I sat down and gave it some more thought and this is what I came up with. So- here's to you Dan!1. To continue loving- This means in every aspect. I am getting the hang of it. I was a late bloomer. I want to invest in loving me more and more, as well as others around me. Love is the essence of true beauty in everything.
2. To laugh alot more- Although I laugh alot now, I want to continue laughing, even on days I do not want too.
3. To live- Majority of people feel that in order to live life that you may need obscene amounts of cash or certain tastes of the high life. I am one that lives vicariously through the existence of simplicity. Sure, I would love to be on a jet plane cruising the Hawaiian Isles by now, but because I cannot- I relish in what I can do, and expect the best out of that. I always tell people, "Live life, just don't exist in it."
4. To dream- I want to continue dreaming for others as well as myself. It can be frustrating at times to believe in dreams when chaos is what surrounds you daily. I see that as an utterance of distraction to keep us in bondage so to speak. and yet- when one looks at the bigger picture, when you cease to dream, you cease to live. I strive to become a better dreamer. I am a work in progress yo.
5. To Succeed- I not only want to be a bigger representative for the so called under-dog but I wish for the underdog to succeed. When that happens that to me is success because my efforts to make a change for something I believe in has taken effect.
6. To grow more in my spirtual walk- it brings me peace and when I have that peace, it brings peace to those around me.
Ummmmm what else can I say? Goals are obtainable. if not in 2008 for some point in the future. As long as I keep moving Forward and not backwards. *smiles*
~Callie
callie rocked you at9:23 AM
12 Comments:
Thursday, January 03, 2008
And my Question to YOU my lovely readers, and those that drop by now and again.....
"Who Thinks, and actually believes Racism is not prominent in Atlanta Georgia...Raise your hand!"
And for those of you that actually did- I bring to you: "Racist Bigot Honky Redneck Dent Myers"
I saw this in Atlantas free publication of goings on in Creative Loafing. For your viewing pleasure I am posting here- everything is intact and word for word from the interviewee to the person interviewed. Gotta love it!
Profile: Dent Myers, ‘Racist Bigot Honky Redneck’December 22nd, 2007 by Helen Herbst
photo by Joeff Davis)
Dent Myers is the proprietor of Wildman’s Civil War Surplus and Herb Shop, a store in Kennesaw selling Civil War, KKK and Nazi memorabilia. He is famous for his beard, his friendly demeanor, his love of guns and his racism.
How long have you lived in Kennesaw?I was here when Kennesaw was still a real town. Used to be a town with a history. Then all these people came. You know, with more people there’s more crime. Kennesaw is like North Atlanta.
Has your store ever been robbed?Oh, no. Do you see any blood anywhere?
Do you have regular customers?Some. A lot of people come here from overseas. They know about the store more than people here.
How did you get the idea to open Wildman’s?I was into metal detecting and I had a few guns. I opened the store with a few hundred dollars.
Are the guns you carry loaded?I wouldn’t carry them if they weren’t loaded. If you have a saw, you keep the blade sharp, if you’re going to use it.
Have you ever had to use them?No, it’s just security. People won’t try to mess with you if they think you can protect yourself. Unless they’re on drugs or something. [He goes into an impression of someone on drugs, tugging on his mustache and waving his hands.] Like, “Hey, man …”
I saw the “No dogs, negroes or Mexicans” sign. Is that enforced?That’s really old. A friend gave it to me. Anyone’s welcome in here, as long as they’re not causing trouble. I mean, you can see the pictures there. [He gestures toward a bulletin board full of photographs of smiling black customers.]
How do you respond when people call you racist?I like it. It’s my name. My full name is Racist Bigot Honky Redneck.
Do people ever come in to complain or protest? Or just to insult you?No, not in here. That wouldn’t be a smart thing to do. They just don’t like me.
Do you have children?No, I know what you gotta do to get them. It’s just me since my dog died a few years back. I’m always either here or home.
I understand you’re friends with [Led Zeppelin guitarist] Jimmy Page.Well, he spent a weekend with me once. [Indicating a picture taped by the register] That’s him there, with my girlfriend at the time.I think that’s about all I have for ya.I wanna just — [Myers pulls out a magazine article about the store titled, “Little Shop of Horrors.”]
What’s this from?That’s Morris Dees’ paper. You know who Morris Dees is? Southern Poverty Unit? He’s a Jew boy that hates the Klan and skinheads and white people. But see what he called it? But that—that’s good. I couldn’t buy that much publicity. I can’t hide, that’s for sure.
Personal Additional comments by moi: I especially love the question about the sign on the door. Apparently Mexicans take precendence on his list as this was highlighted by a capital "M".......oh and lest we not forget the photographs of smiling black faces to accentuate his wall. I am thinking very much of driving up his way this weekend to introduce myself. perhaps I can add more confusion to his already state of confusing thoughts. Only in America people, can something that can seem illegal be legal. Talk about doses of hypocrisy with your cup of java this morning.
for linkage purposes for your fingers on this article, you can find it here yo! Dent Myers
"Who Thinks, and actually believes Racism is not prominent in Atlanta Georgia...Raise your hand!"
And for those of you that actually did- I bring to you: "Racist Bigot Honky Redneck Dent Myers"
I saw this in Atlantas free publication of goings on in Creative Loafing. For your viewing pleasure I am posting here- everything is intact and word for word from the interviewee to the person interviewed. Gotta love it!
Profile: Dent Myers, ‘Racist Bigot Honky Redneck’December 22nd, 2007 by Helen Herbst
photo by Joeff Davis)
Dent Myers is the proprietor of Wildman’s Civil War Surplus and Herb Shop, a store in Kennesaw selling Civil War, KKK and Nazi memorabilia. He is famous for his beard, his friendly demeanor, his love of guns and his racism.
How long have you lived in Kennesaw?I was here when Kennesaw was still a real town. Used to be a town with a history. Then all these people came. You know, with more people there’s more crime. Kennesaw is like North Atlanta.
Has your store ever been robbed?Oh, no. Do you see any blood anywhere?
Do you have regular customers?Some. A lot of people come here from overseas. They know about the store more than people here.
How did you get the idea to open Wildman’s?I was into metal detecting and I had a few guns. I opened the store with a few hundred dollars.
Are the guns you carry loaded?I wouldn’t carry them if they weren’t loaded. If you have a saw, you keep the blade sharp, if you’re going to use it.
Have you ever had to use them?No, it’s just security. People won’t try to mess with you if they think you can protect yourself. Unless they’re on drugs or something. [He goes into an impression of someone on drugs, tugging on his mustache and waving his hands.] Like, “Hey, man …”
I saw the “No dogs, negroes or Mexicans” sign. Is that enforced?That’s really old. A friend gave it to me. Anyone’s welcome in here, as long as they’re not causing trouble. I mean, you can see the pictures there. [He gestures toward a bulletin board full of photographs of smiling black customers.]
How do you respond when people call you racist?I like it. It’s my name. My full name is Racist Bigot Honky Redneck.
Do people ever come in to complain or protest? Or just to insult you?No, not in here. That wouldn’t be a smart thing to do. They just don’t like me.
Do you have children?No, I know what you gotta do to get them. It’s just me since my dog died a few years back. I’m always either here or home.
I understand you’re friends with [Led Zeppelin guitarist] Jimmy Page.Well, he spent a weekend with me once. [Indicating a picture taped by the register] That’s him there, with my girlfriend at the time.I think that’s about all I have for ya.I wanna just — [Myers pulls out a magazine article about the store titled, “Little Shop of Horrors.”]
What’s this from?That’s Morris Dees’ paper. You know who Morris Dees is? Southern Poverty Unit? He’s a Jew boy that hates the Klan and skinheads and white people. But see what he called it? But that—that’s good. I couldn’t buy that much publicity. I can’t hide, that’s for sure.
Personal Additional comments by moi: I especially love the question about the sign on the door. Apparently Mexicans take precendence on his list as this was highlighted by a capital "M".......oh and lest we not forget the photographs of smiling black faces to accentuate his wall. I am thinking very much of driving up his way this weekend to introduce myself. perhaps I can add more confusion to his already state of confusing thoughts. Only in America people, can something that can seem illegal be legal. Talk about doses of hypocrisy with your cup of java this morning.
for linkage purposes for your fingers on this article, you can find it here yo! Dent Myers
callie rocked you at8:53 AM
16 Comments:
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
New Years Eve...Ok let me back up a few notches.... First I have to tell you about my shirt incident. and yes ~Angie~ this has got to be the biggest jinx yet. You see, I ordered this shirt from a reputable company to wear for the Sugar Bowl- ya know? Had to represent my team....Anyways- I ordered it on Friday, paid express to have it on Monday. Monday came and I am elated and giddy knowing that I was going to be sportin mah team on my chest. and then the inevitable..So- I call guess who?UPS.....and ask them to trace my delivery as I had yet received it. And then the operator proceeds to tell me something until I burst out in this "You can't be serious" yell which then turned into an open floodgate of tears. My package was sitting in Atlanta, Ga. not 5 miles from my house at 3:44 am on December 30. The operator than proceeded to tell me, how sorry she was, and she did not understand why no one picked it up for delivery- and that she sees in the system where I paid additional for Next Business Day- but that the offices were closed for the remainder of that day and would be on New Years. I was at a loss of words. All I could do was cry. And yeah- I am sure some of you would be like- "It's just a shirt" right? Let me say this to you - had my ass been Donald Trump and I needed to close a contract deal for millions of dollars, I bet UPS, FED-EX, Climax, somebody ex would have jumped hoops to get it done. But because someone wanted to get off early- my package along with others I am sure- had to take it and just oh well it?
Funk. That. Noize.
UPS-I paid additional for a service, your phone system is stating they are guaranteeing deliveries an additional 90 minutes on New Years Eve beyond the norm, and your telling me- it's basically an oversight and nothing can be done? I don't think so....Ok....onward...So- I am just at this point at a loss, and my head is hurting, I had not eaten basically that day because I was so called fasting, and I did good until lunch time- in which I binged and ate a small slice of ham and cheese on wonder bread- and I am just done.....So- after my crying spill, and taking two aspirin *because I ran out of Goody Powders* I lay in my bed in the dark and needed to think....and then...I had a vision....
I jumped out of the bed, put my hair up grabbed my shoes and truck keys and hauled ass to the Ghetto Mall- WalMart! From there I found a black and green jersey and looked at it inside out trying to put together a Martha Stewart Creation. I then went to the arts and crafts section and contemplated adding some rhinestones or spell Hawaii on the jersey using iron on stencils, but then I opted out because I figured the lei would hide all that anyways.... Ohhhhhhh..the lei...I did not have the time nor did I want to handstring one- *I have done this many times, and it's alot of work* So- I just made one with a one two snap. In the Floral department, I found a garland of flowers in different colors and sizes. It was truly a picture perfect lei. 2 hours, 3 new bras, a camera, 6 panties, and a large fry and coke from McDonalds later, I got home, cut it linked with Dental Floss *minty flavor mind you* tied that bastard together and voila! a lei! I also bought a cool head bandanna that was black with skull cross bones. I wanted to make a statement.... *Warriors Bringin the Pain* all in all- that was the emergency outfit for the game. And yes..I am still pissed about my still waiting for my shirt. and before I forget....
UPS....You ask your clients "What Can Brown do for you?" well from my point of view right about now, you can suck my boobs...Both of them...Just kneel and insert those 38Ds and choke.
GAME DAY- I ran to the fancy ghetto mall- *Target' * and bought glass chalk in which I wrote on my truck windows all kinds of neat Aloha Cheerleader verbiage rooting for my team. I went to the sportsbar -settled in with my Guiness and a Cheeseburger and waited. At first I was maybe one of 7 people, but then as game time rolled on I became lost in the crowd but still stuck out among all the Georgia flags and uniformed attire. I was heckled alot....Some jack off even decided to taunt me by announcing that if my team lost I had to wear his Ga. attire and do the bark....... Well, I am true to my word and stood by my team and ended up holding jackasses hat to my chest *cause I was so not putting his hat on my head* and I stood in front of the bar and did a few woofs....All in the name of Aloha spirit. One guy did come up and hug me and told me that I had good team spirit and he felt bad for me because I was the only one rooting for another team. He gave me a hug. I got a photo. but alas, I gotta scan them all so be patient yo.
Needless to say we know how the game ended....And I was heartbroken... I left the bar at almost 1 am and got to my truck only to realize...my keys?! I couldn't find them...I searched high and low to discover... "I locked them in the truck..." So- here I am 6 glasses of Guiness later trying to decide how to get my keys and then another moment! Recall my truck window being smashed due to the Christmas Break In? A-ha....no more needs to be said.
THIS people- was my New Year.....No celebration really...Just me getting through another fiasco......2008 has to be an improvement yo!
~callie
Edit: Oh...I forgot another highlight..Recall the cheerleader verbiage all on my truck? I got up extra early this morning to revise the "We're kickin your ass" to something more "subtle"...only when I tried to wipe it off- it was then I realized it was 20 something freakin degrees, and the windows are iced.....Yeah...Go Team Go!
callie rocked you at10:44 AM
5 Comments:
I am eating pie this morning... "Humble Pie"............. As you all may know- my Hawaii Warriors lost last night..........So- here.we.go.
photo credit: Honolulu Advertiser
Congratulations to the Georgia Bulldogs. You all played a heck of a game and named it and claimed it in the Big Eazy.
To my Warriors- I am so proud of all of you! Though you did not win this one, you all remained intact with your dignity and pride as Hawaii's Beloved Warriors. You stepped up to the challenge and did your best. You showed the world what Aloha Spirit means. Now that you had an opportunity to play in the Dawgs playground, learn from it and be ready to lock and load come next season!
~always hawaiian~
callie
Congratulations to the Georgia Bulldogs. You all played a heck of a game and named it and claimed it in the Big Eazy.
To my Warriors- I am so proud of all of you! Though you did not win this one, you all remained intact with your dignity and pride as Hawaii's Beloved Warriors. You stepped up to the challenge and did your best. You showed the world what Aloha Spirit means. Now that you had an opportunity to play in the Dawgs playground, learn from it and be ready to lock and load come next season!
~always hawaiian~
callie