callie rocked you at10:23 AM

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So- according to my last post I told you all that I would venture back into society of the dating- scene. Of course I don't go to bars looking for men. That to me is not a good deal. But I went to get my groove on ya know? Droppin it like it was hawt. Shakin what my momma gave me. Woot Woot...and then as I stood there drinkin my cheap ass beer *because the bartendress stated they were outta wine, they were outta Guiness* they were about outta luck with me ordering but I bit my lip and ordered something from a spicket. yep. Good drinks there buuudy. So anyways, I am watching this place get more and more crowded with more and more unattractive people.....men.....Yo- I felt like I was in a car show. Cheeze and Crackerz. There was more gold teeth rims in that joint than in fort knox. I saw plain ones, chiseled ones, some with designs some spaced all throughout their mouths. And I just wanted to cry. And suddenly, I just happended to have looked in the mirror at the bar and saw this FYNE tasty morsel of bald headed teasing eyes looking at me and he smiled. He bought me a drink. I went and introduced myself and shook his hand and he told me how pretty I was. and then.........I looked at his hand...and behold, a gold ring circled his finger. And I said, "Thanks for the drink but I really don't want any wife troubles." and do you know what this man told me people? Wait for it, because you are about to blow a fart.

He then says- "Oh no problem at all. We are here in town on business, and we are looking for other married couples to join us. Are you married?"

At this moment I looked him dead in his eye and told him I was one of the women Beyonce sings about- Single Lady and I was not into swapping or swinging. He then tells me: "Too bad, your gorgeous- but we don't do solo."

And on that note, I gave him back his cheap ass glass of beer, and rolled the hell out. Seeeeeeee?????????? This is why I keep my butt locked behind closed doors. That pumpin peter is lookin really good right about now I tell ya. geez...........

On another note. 2009 YO! Ya'll better hit me up with some New Year cheer. Ya hear me?

PS...."anonymous" long time no hear. are you upset with me, or upset because you can't get back into me. *winks*

~callie

callie rocked you at3:47 PM

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Yo- I hope all ya'll had a freakin good Christmas! As for me, Wine, Wine, And More Wine. yep yep! Of course I did not really spend my Christmas all by lonesome- I volunteered to attend my families little throw down and got my Ham and Collard Greens on! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I am talking about eating so much that you are beggin for an enema because you ate so much you can't crap. *wink

See, those that read my stuff you try and act all bashful and "OMGosh I can't buleeeeeeve she said that!" Well listen up mateys, buleeeeeve it! I said wrote it and plastered it all over my lovely blog. Now- whose gonna fess up and admit that they prayed for a big dumperoo after that holiday meal? Exactly.

Onward- My christmas was lonely in a sense because it was not at my house, because hellloooooo- the gas company f'd up a Blog Whores Christmas by having wrong contact info in their database which has prolonged my domicile to generate heat. That's right, not only did I piss a few icecubes which if I didnt wipe fast enough they would have been icecicles hanging from my vajajay- BUT I said HoHoHo outloud and puffs of dewy mist in cloud format blew out my mouth. And no- it wasn't pot or anything like that. I am a natural buzz and high. TRUST. I did accept an invite on behalf of my aunts and rolled down to south atlanta and hung out there. It was cool. And then I jumped back into my truck and hauled ass back to Mexi-lanta and feasted with a few other friends on ceviche, tortillas, and I be damed the BEST cake I have ever eaten. and I think after that is when my mood just went south because my stomach started cramping, and I really wanted to blow a fart but couldnt, and well my night was shot as I doubled over in bed praying that Santa would just fly away and have the reindeer stop running all over my poor belly.amen.

So the fiasco finally ended this morning when I overdosed on laxative and now I have a new bounce in my step and I have been a whistle blowing fool spreadin more good cheer! Woot Woot!!!!

2009 is vastly approaching. One of the many things I will attempt to do is get back into dating. It has been a while and I have learned alot about myself and what I like, want, won't put up with, and I will - am- willing to give it another try. But damn it people. I hate dating. I really do. I am so not wanting to deal with men of many masks, and lies, and oh jimminy cricket on crack- the whole "What's your sign, what's your number (and they don't call) yeah I like you (and they don't call) ..you know what I mean? Or better yet..the sex...I don't know but I can't fathom the thought of laying up with someone that I have never been with before...Am I making sense? no? Ok let me explain...I don't want to be with someone that may not know how much of a freak I can be. The last thing I want is to be with some guy and when I slap his ass he gets pissed. Or if I like to be stroked a certain way- he starts having heart palpatations and then dies on top of me because he was not ready to ride SeaBiscuit. I'm SEXY BABY recognize dat! Cheeeeeeze and Crackers. Dating scares the shit out of me. I think I will just invest in the pumpin peter and call it a night.

I of course have a lot of other things on my list I want to accomplish. Nothing drastic to where if by chance it doesn't happen, I wont lose my shirt over it. Would rather lose my shirt over something exciting and sexy know what I mean? not over drama that I cannot do anything about.

Ok- so- tell me what's up on the horizon for you?

until then...LATERZ!!!!!!!!
~callie

callie rocked you at2:50 PM

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

callie rocked you at10:00 AM

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Monday, December 22, 2008

callie rocked you at6:24 PM

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

callie rocked you at3:22 PM

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I am in the mood. What kind of mood am I in? A Sexy one.. A Seductive one... Thinking about it makes me smile in anticipation. I love doing it slow. I like the way my teeth scrape the top lightly and then how my tongue gently glides over it slowly. I especially like it when I am alone because it's my time to go as slow as I want. Pleasure such as that need no time limit wouldn't you agree?

So- how about it? A Night with me. Watching tv and feeling amorous as we enjoy Oreo Cookies together.

Well- what did you think I was talking about? Duh. *winks

~callie

callie rocked you at5:19 PM

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Friday, December 12, 2008

And I am a few steps closer to nabbing the crook people. Patience- Breathe- Perseverence= kick ass.....

Ok so- the Announcement- a few hours ago I received a letter in the mail telling me I have till December 23 to be out of my house. Falala-lalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. They are going to pay me a little something for my trouble, but I requested a little more to assist me with full expenses to be in another house before Christmas. I will see how it goes, other than that- my weekend will be packing, and waiting for them to come take photos of the property etc etc. They also told me that they will be posting that big red letter on my door as well. I told them that would be fine as long as they didnt start throwing my stuff out on the same day. FaLaLaLaLa-La La La Laaaaaaa

In other news of Callies life right now- I am amazingly calm. I think it is because I said F-it Let's roll and decided that I need to do what was right which is to go after this guy and not give up. So- I have contacted the Attorney Generals Office, and a syndicated consumer talk show host and a local What's going on Paper thats pretty hot. So if anything, this guy will know who the hell I am by the time this is all over with yo!

Can I get a WootWoot?!

Anyways, I will keep you all posted. This is a classic Christmas aint it? *laughs*

lurve you all
~c

PS.

DON'T Pity me people...This is life you know? It will all work out. Besides, I told yall I would keep you entertained did I not? Callie will not fail ya!

callie rocked you at6:42 PM

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Yes People, the beat indeed goes on. I first need to say I am sorry. I have been royally sucking lately with the posts haven't I ? I mean I normally have amps of stuff to talk about but lately, I have been busy working a full time job, hustling to do some things at night to make money *yes legally* and then with all the other drama going on- I have not done anything adventerous or life threatening. Well, that screaming match with the 3 ugly step sisters of Trailor Trash Harlem was interesting, but I digress, there is much more to life than that yo!

So- check it. I am still on Mr. Mans ass about my deposit. He still cries I have nothing to do with it, I said ok- tell it to the judge. And that is where it stands, I am suing him for 3 times the amount allowable and then some. I tallied all of my receipts in monies I have paid to him and it totals around 1780.00 in one months time. Now multiply that by 3. yeah- can we say CRUISE for my Birthday? Oh but Diva wants me to shake my breastesses for Mardi Gras next year. Ummmmmm still thinking on that yo! There is only so much drinking I wanna be around. Know what I mean?

In other news, Cheese and Crackers! Is there anyone out there that watches that show called Andrew Zimmern on Exotic Foods? It's on Discovery. But when I say Exotic I mean foods that we in the USA or whatnot would not want to touch. For example- yesterdays show was on visiting some country where the foods of delight were "innerds". Holy Shit people I am not talking about your norm, chitterlings and pickled pigs feet. I am talking balls, eyeballs, and other stuff that would make you wanna puke your own guts up. And it killed me how everything that was presented was laced in garden fancery on a plate. Screw that- lace my eyeballs in greenery with a carrot flower don't make it appealing. I still gotta look at a big eyeball staring back at me.

That man eats anything and everything literally. It reminds me of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. "Ooooooo Fresh Chilled Monkey Brains" or wait....."Oooooooo *claps and grins madly* "Snake Suprise!" I am so with ole girl in that movie- "What's the suprise and give me your hat so I can puke in it." enuff said.

Another great cable show I just love. "Operation Repo" Holy cow that gets me laughing at times, but I gotta tell you, that big bald head guy needs his azz beat! He makes me wanna just rip those shades off his beady eyes and just claw him to death. He is soooooooo nasty mean. But he was running like the bitch he is when he tried to repo this ladies truck and her homies rolled out of the house with all kinds of guns. CLASSIC! I have never seen muscles move that fast!

Christmas is around the corner and I will be spending it alone this year. It is easier for me to send my kid down to my mom and dads for the holidays while I packed our stuff and just mellowed in thought. 2009 has got to be better than this u know? Still I am thankful of alot. I just need some air to breathe instead constantly swallowing pollution. God loves me and you. Amen.

Sorry I did not send Christmas cards this year. But hey, who says we have to celebrate in December? So all ya'll be prepared to get a Christmas Card in January yo!

Ummmmm what do I want for Christmas.? Tell me how sexy I am and how much you lurve a blog whore and that will delight me for all time.

simple isn't it? *winks

ciao
~c

callie rocked you at5:52 PM

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Monday, December 01, 2008

All I can do these days to keep myself from being in a state of depression is to focus on things that really make me say- "Dat der is funny". For example- The Smoking Gun on Cable. I bust a gut laughing at some of the stuff people do. Like the Drunk guy who couldn't recall his ABC's and told the cop- "ABC and the rest of that shit you should know." or what about the lady who got busted for DUI and decided during questioning to do a strip tease act and then cried when they told her it was taped for her court room appearance. Yeah- Dat der is Funny..... "Oh no your honor, I wasn't drinking, I just thought I would show you my new dance moves and what kind of panties I was wearing that I just bought from Fredericks of Hollywood."

Oh and cheese and crackers, what is up with the Kardashians and how in the hell did Bruce Jenner end up marrying into that family? And is it just me or did Bruce go a little happy on the botox? He looks funny. Kinda like Sharon Osborne. all tight lipped and stuff...Looks like they were both caught in a strong wind or something.

Other things that make me laugh- that commercial of the guy giving his wife all the nonsense christmas presents stuff and when he opens the curtain to the driveway it's two cars. THAT IS PRICELESS!

Did I tell you all that my son wanted to be a real individual and decided to grow an afro. I cannot stand it..It just makes me wanna sit on him and shave it with a quickness. I did threaten him with that again but i recalled how I fucked it up before and he had more hair on one side than the other, and I kept trying to even it and well, he kinda looked like someone that got caught in the middle of something horrid and it just ripped certain parts of his hair out. I pride myself on having a handsome son, I don't wanna mess up his mack thing by screwing up his head again, but we compromised. Friday I am taking him to the barber and getting something short- but still poofy. Kinda like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Nahhhhh...just kidding yo.

So- Tuesday is the day I will find out if I will be homeless or not. Well, I won't be homeless but this is going to be an interesting Christmas I tell ya! Fa La La La- La La La La!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diva- I did call you. Many times. but you aint ever there or something.

Bettina, thanks for your hello from Austrailia..PS...any way you can send Hugh Jackman my way?

Pele- sorry about my address wait on it.

Will hit you all back.

callie

callie rocked you at2:05 PM

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