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I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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Sunday, January 31, 2010

We choose to believe in the best of people not because we have too, but because we long to.

We choose to suffer in life's daily trials not because we are so masochistic in ourselves, but because life is somewhat Sadist in it's haste to oblige.

We choose to skip the roller coaster ride not because we are afraid of speed or height, but because we are afraid of going down versus the climb up.

We choose to keep silent so as to not cause strife or turmoil, not realizing that very silence can be death to those whom we wish to protect.

We choose to accept the somberness of quiet mind scape to exercise our moment of mental peace, and yet without exercising our minds we lose the ability to live.

We choose to wake up and decide what side of the fence we are on, only to realize sometimes we find it best to straddle it.

We choose to close ourselves off to possibilities of happiness, only to long for it and never attain it.

What do you choose to do today? You have another chance.

callie rocked you at8:28 AM

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

People! The Callister has become involved in some football bitches!!!! Ok I will admit, I am a hockey girl, and I lurve lurve lurve me some boxing because maybe perhaps I wished I could throw a punch or two with style and finesse- (I especially love that combination thai kickboxing and have only two words... ok 3... "Tony freakin Jaa"....) I went and bought Ong Bak, and Ong Bak 2 and I must say part 2 is better... My son who is 14 going on 30 told me I wasn't like normal moms.. I asked him what he meant.. he just shook his head and laughed and told me I was different........ So what if I don't wear a grannie robe and do dishes and clean all of the time.. I still bake brownies and all that crap even though I am probably wearing lacey panties underneath it all... I know...visual that eye candy in your minds gentleman...and ladies too if your thinkin it.....

Ahem- so back to football.. I never really got into it until I started rooting for the comeback of none other than Michael Vick..and then i found myself becoming a football house hacker... I would place phonecalls to relatives that I knew had some type of tv that did not involve aluminum foil on the receptors...I would ask if I could come watch my Eagles..and would become engrossed and annoyed when Vick wouldn't play enough.....And then they didn't advance to superbowl... And then I started to become more engrossed with my displeasure of "brett fart"....I got into a deep discussion over this turd at a sports bar months ago...Mr. Roddy Rowdy Piper wanna be called himself trying to sell me on the idea of how great a player brett fart was.... Ahem- I mentioned over my Guiness.... Brett fart can kiss my caramel coated nut... He couldn't handle transition and decided to screw everyone to get over.. Well Brett..You got over...You helped your team cross right on out of the SuperBowl.... *PS. Phat Edit- Brett- pack your denture gear and give up your spot to da man... TB!!! That's right.. It's Tebow time!*

So now- I was beside myself and had to make a choice of rooting for someone for superbowl... And of course I felt i had an obligation to do so- with none other the City known for turning me into a Bourbon Street- bead catching whore..... The Nawlins Saints!!!! I was thinking of going over to DaDivas house for this celebration- but then it hit me...Each time I get with her and it has something to do with her hometown of this Boob showing city, I "always" manage to get into some kind of trouble....Ummmmm...as long as she doesnt black mail me anymore with You Tube vids...I think I will be ok.... Then again...I'm skeered.

And of course last but not least.. You all KNOW how I loathe the upcoming holiday of Valentines Day.... However, I am trying to be good and not blast anyone for participating in this costy event. I personally would rather dine over a basket of chicken wings and a Guiness but hey...if you wanna dine lovingly into someones eyes while sharing a dessert that looks like it got hit by a mud van and shaped into a heart- be my guest......Nah i am not blasting it......You just go ahead and enjoy spending hundreds of dollars on roses that will be dead in a week....but if your special maybe you can just improvise your E.T. and touch them and they will bloom back to life.....No seriously, I am not blasting VD day..... HA! appropiately named considering the HoJo inn will probably be packed on that day and that will be a complimentary gift for their guests on that special evening.. Ok ok ok...so I am really hatin right about now...I want flowers and a mud covered shaped heart and to stare lovingly over a basket of chicken wings...As for the visit to HoJo inn....can I do a raincheck? I just wanna feel special...and no...Being my childs Valentine is not what I mean... Mommy wants some lurve too...................................

So there ya have it chicos and chicas...roll with it.... holla!!!!

*c to the a to the l to the l to the i to the e.......*

PS.....Callie's Additional Phat Edit on the Football gig.... This is "my" prediction ok? I told you all beforehand how the Tiger Woods incident really went down- and I was 100% right! So- i figure, I am good enough to be an imaginary football analyst right? Ahem...ok..so here is what I think should happen.... Go ahead and boot Favre right out the door... Switcheroo and find another QB- AND bring along Mr. Tim Tebow as a back up QB for the Vikings...get him good and trained NFL style.... OR......NY Jets- keep that handsome rookie QB Sanchez and take Tebow for the ride as a backup... My only jiggle of a headshake iffy though might come into play that Tebow won't be able to handle playing in cold weather..... He will learn the other stuff- but playing in ball bustin freezin temps may be a challenge..... ok...that's all folks!

callie rocked you at1:21 PM

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Monday, January 25, 2010

Things I can say to make you think:

1. I want you

2. I need you

3. I crave you

4. Give me more

5. Don't stop!

6. Yes, like that

7. Slow

8. Right there

9. Harder

10. Faster

11. Deeper

12. Yes

13. I'm yours

14. Your mine

15. Kiss me

16. Lick me

17. Savor me

18. I'm close

19. I'm there

20. Give me more

Are you thinking yet?

callie rocked you at8:48 PM

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Saturday, January 09, 2010

This post is dedicated to Seraphine whose voice and inspiration ignites even the smallest of flames.

What would our world be like if every girl, every woman declared they were beautiful? How powerful that would be. One phrase to be spoken each day would perhaps change the way we as women would see ourselves. Instead we have battled ourselves each day in different ways to try and combat our images, including that of our thoughts. And then let us not forget Society.

Society tells each of us that we cannot be beautiful unless we are thin. Society tells us- we will not have the kind of job we want unless we conform to an image that is "accepting". Society tells us that we cannot age gracefully or beautifully unless we load up on purchasing creams and ointments to stop wrinkles or age spots. Society tells us we are not good enough to have the man of our dreams unless we lower our standards to make ourselves more appealing to adjust to what their needs are. And then "we" allow society to thread these images into our subconscious which continues to feed and grow and then before we know it- it has manifested into a monster in which our self worth is attacked on a daily basis- not only from our selves, but from each other...Our sisters.....

What would our world be like if each woman regardless of their age, would just stop and share this sentiment with every women we met. Whether it be on the grocery stores, in the mall, in the bank..... What would our world be like if we accepted what society deems as a negative and took it for a positive.... What if every woman that was graced to give birth could look in a mirror without clothes on and say: "I have been blessed to bring life in this world. This body. My body." or maybe: "I am not like any other woman, I am unique and I am beautiful."

Like with anything this kind of passion starts with one person and grows. You have been one to show such grace and compassion to all of your readers. In the years that I have known you, I have become inspired to be me regardless of all the hardships I have faced.I have been strengthened through your words of compassion on the lowliest of days. Your beauty is unparalleled and unmatched Sera. Your creativity, your gift of intuition, your words of wisdom of what you think would only be spoken from those of an older generation flow from your lips like that of angelic reasoning. YOU are beautiful.............YOU are grace...and I am honored.

callie rocked you at1:29 PM

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Friday, January 08, 2010

After I went to the gym this morning, I decided to do a little stop and pause just to get some thoughts together or better yet to take a mental break. I was and have been searching on the internet about things that I have been feeling..... I am a walking bag of Adjectives... I feel blue, happy, sad, joyful......sexy, alluring, kinky and shy....A friend of mine who is a nurse told me it was basically my hormones changing..... "What do you mean changing?" I asked her.. I honestly didn't know. She proceeded to ask me some questions, and then got even more personal than I would have liked....

"Are you sexual?" "No" I responded...."But I wish I were, I am dying." and with that she laughed.. "yeah, it's your hormones, nothing major.... what are you doing for relief?" "Nothing out of the norm." "I read, I get out and walk the mall or around the block, I work out, I stitch, I write, you know..the norm..." and she began to laugh again. By this point i got tired of her laughing at me and asked her what was so funny.

"Nothing! I'm sorry....but it's your hormones. Your entering the zone of female hotness. You need a man!" and I cringed...I don't know why I cringed. I just know I did.....I don't know what the hell I need right now. I know what I would like, and I know what I want, and yet there is that big cloud that hangs over my head with the thought, that what I like, want, may never happen so perhaps I should just take what I can and run with it........

And then that cloud busted like an Alley McBeal moment. I instead ordered sexual aids for a mature woman. How's that for randomness. *EDIT: I chickened out and canceled the order.i know, I suck as a fearless leader.*

callie rocked you at4:57 PM

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Thursday, January 07, 2010

I have a diatribe of thoughts every now and again. I guess that is what makes me- me..... I never was the poser type of girl in which I would portray someone else to get something. I have never been that way which would explain why I never made it for Prom Queen or something like that. I may have been quiet at times, but inside I would want to just majorly blow a volcanic fart and just go buck wild. I did in my 20's and some of my 30's. (Lest we not forget the New Orleans episode where the Big Eazy totally turned me into a non virginal whore for a weekend after hanging out with Da Diva) I haven't touched a drop of hard liquor ever since. Just the smell of Te-kill-ya (tequila) makes me wanna hurl bucket loads.

Now I just find myself utterly amazed at where I have been in my life and where I am now, and I sit by watching where I am to be or go in the next years to come. One of the things that I have learned that I appreciate about myself is that fact that i can say "No" and feel good about it. I can say "No" to being a victim of life's unfortunate circumstances when it comes. I can say "No" to my kid when I feel he is being a total butt and needs me to snap him back into place. (Regardless of the fact that he is 6ft. something- momma can still climb chairs and furniture)...I can say "No" to people that are mean to me or that try and take advantage of me. And you know what people- it feels freakin good. No can be a powerful word that comes in handy.

Another thing that runs in my mind is the fact that life changes the way a person sees things and prompts them to want the best. Well I would think it would be this way for a majority however there are those knuckleheads that will not ever grasp that wisdom and will just be lifeless until the end. I find myself looking back into my past to only understand that choices i made were mine. They were good and they were bad at times, however each of those choices is what brings me here to today. More confidant than I was years ago- stronger than the day before. Having been on both sides of the fence- it has helped me to relate to others in ways of compassion and grace. Lend a hand..Listen...give a hug...share a smile..... Cry with someone, laugh some more.

Which I think leads me to the conclusion of this thought in my head and on my heart. I really don't give a rats ass if people choose to not want to associate with me. They are the ones that are missing out. It is up to each individual to take a place in deciding to read the hearts of man. Each person to me is like a book. They have a beginning, middle, and an end. It is up to me to choose to engage in their life if they are open to allowing themselves to be read. You know i have been on that Dating Web site, and although I am not really looking, or searching, (because I have gone into it with my eyes open knowing it is just a tool to reach out, if anything to find a new friend, go for coffee or something with the opposite sex. If something develops fine if not no worries.

I have received 3 emails from married men- one wanting a so called- sounding board (yeah that's what he calls it) one wanting to hook up for sexual encounters and was so blatantly honest- that he told me that his wife would never find out because he pass codes his phone, pc's, doesn't use his credit card for paper trail purposes.......and the list went on....and last but not least the gentleman that actually looked like a GQ magazine model- who was interested in another female to assist his wife and to become a part of his polygamist or (poly) as I know it to be firsthand from back in the day) household.

Not only did I explicitly reiterate what my profile states, but I gave them all a resounding glorified answer of No...only to have 2 emails shot back at me- telling me how I wasn't this or that anyway....So- what is the purpose of degrading someone? That is when one must delve into their hearts and search out the meanings of character, integrity, morals....etc. etc.. I think to myself, yeah to them I may not be all that, but at least I can face myself in the mirror and come clean and apologize for hurting anyone. And then there was that wild streak in me that wanted to really let into them and perhaps add an additional butthole to their asses with perhaps a brand mark to let them know who gave it to them. And yet- i took a breath and I cried. I am not afraid or embarrassed to admit that i did. I have feelings too. Beyond this device of plastic, and metal and wires with it's surge of electricity - there is a real woman on the other side that has chosen to allow strangers to get to know her and her vulnerabilities at times. Of course not "every" detail mind you, but enough to give validation of my existence in this world. And so along that note, I kindly emailed them back and graciously (as only callie can) extended a "Well good luck to you, by the way here is my web address where I blog. check it out when you have the time.)

And here you are! Welcome to my realm!!!!

Now that you THE GUEST OF HONOR has ventured into my domain may I offer a toast to you?

"Here's to you and others that find degrading people to be a top of your to do list!

I lift my imaginary can of Budweiser and shout a resounding toast of a "Fuck You" to you."

~callie

callie rocked you at9:27 AM

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Ok....I REALLY need to say I'm sorry. It has been a while since I updated links and well to my dismay and somewhat horror, there were a few that were no longer blog sites and instead were sites that made you pay for entry, or sites where you can "view" an entry of some sort. (Catch my drift?) No??? Ok...lemme try it this way.....

Excuse some of the links that were still on my blog and have been abandoned and sold for profit of an adult level. Now do you understand? No???? geez....ok...last time....

Sorry for all of the broken links that were still left on my blog. I found out a little too late they were linked to butt spankin, boob juggling, condom flyin, hee haw sighing porn sites.

better? good. Continue...

~callie

callie rocked you at11:05 AM

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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

I did go to the gym on last night and I must tell you all something, they need to find a better class instructor with a quickness. First off I started with a cardio pumper and walked and ran the treadmill for 30 minutes. After that I decided to do a Latin Dance Class....now.....people, when I see something that says latin dance class- cardio I would expect latin dance cardio. Instead I walked into this class it was "jump in and do whatever you can or want" cardio. The instructor didn't look like an instructor. I nicknamed her- BBG- big booty gurl because she was ample in the trunk and can really salsa albeit wearing a wooly sweater which made me itch just by looking. And then I heard this voice say: "Way to go!!! Ok who else wants to lead?" THIS was the instructor speaking. No wonder why I didn't see her, she is out within the crowd letting other people teach! And what happens next was only as I could explain it as a Kodak video moment. This gentleman runs up to the stage and says he would..........*shakes mah head* only bless his heart, you can tell he was not instructor led or qualified..... He bounced around that stage so off beat and base you would have thought he was high. Not only that none of us could keep in line with his cheerleading efforts of a possible flash back. But he did entertain us by his workout gear...It was like watching Mork for Mork and Mindy clashing with Richard Simmons.

Within the next 15 minutes I no longer wanted to stay in this class and waited it out until the 7:30 pm class which was the Cardio Kickboxing! I found my place at the back of the room- and who walks in? Mork without Mindy! he sashays by me and stands right beside me. I exchange pleasentries and listened to how he loves this class, and how he liked my raquetball shirt, and how he wanted to play with me someday - yada yada yada and then the instructor walks in- and she is built and beautiful in her little tight outfit and I envied her, and the music started and I was getting my groove and suddenly, a sharp pain radiated against my face and I found myself doubled over on my knees....You guessed it...Freakin Mork punched my ass accidentally.....so now.....Not onlywas I holding back tears, but Mork is hovering over me apologizing, the instructor is running to get ice, my son has now bounded into the room wondering if his mom passed out from not breathing...whatever the case. I sit here now looking like one of the Chipmunks long lost cousin.

My son told me I resembled that chick Snooky from jersey shore after that guy punched her in the face- but told me it didn't look that bad. he also was persistent on telling me the next time not to stand next to "Powder- in hoochie moma spandex"......

To be beautiful is pain people.- ouch-

word for the day: LUDA!

callie rocked you at12:53 PM

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Sunday, January 03, 2010

We are in 2010 people, and wouldn't you know it, I have already begun the tales of Callie in MyStyle Fashion! First off I must do a verbal backlash against Lane Bryant. Say what you want but "women" come in all different shapes and sizes. Some women can be tiny up top and spread like butter on the bottom. I am what they call pear- hourglass shaped therefore some clothes fit differently compared to others- which means I have to drape myself in clothes to accentuate. Lane Bryant was one of the stores I would go to for things like Blue Jeans and panties when I didn't feel like trampling in Larry The Cable Guys territory- better known as "Dat der Wal Marts." no offence larry- I still lurve you and think you are sexy as hell, but back to my vent. My son and I ventured to the mall today so he could try and score his own copy of Modern Warfare 2 and it just so happened I saw a glorious sight!!! 50 to 60% off people!!! Everything in the store....So...I HAD to visit!!!

I found jeans, blouses, sexy panties, bras, look people, when I decide to engage in a night of fantasy at some point in time with a man of my own I am gonna be dressed! I think I collected myself a Fredericks of Hollywood closeout by the time I finished..and then I went to pay and asked that question..."Are you all making room for Spring items already?" It was like a slow motion answer from the Six Million Dollar Man jumping a fence.....

"Nnnnnoooooo Maaaaammmmm, weeeeee areeeeeee CLLLLOOOOSIIIING dooowwwwwnnnn."

People, I may have turned white right there in front of her....And do you know what the reason was? Corporate felt that it was not profitable any longer so they are closing a good majority of the stores across Georgia.....ok....so I have to ask the question... Those women that are full figured in larger sizes....What the hell are they to do???? What am I going to do?? Wally world skates by on what I get from time to time, but damn it! I deserve to look and feel sexy and don't want to have to worry about my boobs slipping underneath the cups because of cheap fabric... So- for any of my readers that are full figured like myself, and know what I mean about having to look sexy at the same time of having a menstrual cycle, we need to voice that! It's just not right..... Ok...I vented...on to another subject....

I signed up for the singles dating site called: Plenty of Fish.com

I met one guy from there who talked a really good game. I didn't have my hopes up but I really thought he could be a potential "we can email, call, have dinner from time to time" type of guy, and do you know what? He was too chicken to tell me he wasn't interested...And THAT wasn't even the story...After we met, he was still texting me, calling me..."What's up beautiful, how's your day, " this and that, and "Oh, I could become addicted to you you smell so good, and you have eyes that are heartbreakers to a man" ya know...really laying it on peanut butter thick and then outta the blue, he just ignores me... Now- let me tell you this..I did not burn his cell phone up calling him and texting him, I got to a point sometime last year if a man is really interested he will contact me when he is ready. Give em space- continue doing my thing, go with the flow......

But to just all of a sudden treat me like that? he would send a text- asking how I was I would respond and say How are you? and nada...not even the sound of a fart squeezing through a constipated butthole people...So...I said screw it..... The site if anything has potential...Still- because of my fears of dating or whatnot, I still get the ones that message me and send me photos of them in bathtubs......or out of bathtubs....I just wanna puke...I get the ones that look like they should be Tony Soprano or Pimp Daddy G-Money or Pope Sweet Jesus in the fur coats and hats wanting me to sample some ribs...I even get the ones that want to just complain about how they wont even waste their time on me because I wasn't putting out.... (Yeah, I did mention I was not open for booty calls and wasn't sexually interested in anyone.) Well, ya know the celibacy thing ..... I am just tired of getting involved with someone and that becomes their focus on what they think makes a relationship....and it doesn't...And it just makes it into a chore, and blah blah blah........ And then there is that 2% where I would get a message from someone, and they seem so genuine and interesting and I think to myself, "Wow.... I would really like to get to know this person...and it just becomes so anxiety laden that I just stay away from it all....So- true to my word, and at the advice of some of you all, I am giving it another shot to get back out there into meeting men........

I am missing my Hockey games like a crack head needs crack! I am trying to schedule some things out with my patient to make sure he is covered while I get back into some me time....The gym thing starts tomorrow. I am looking forward to whooping some tae bo arse!!! and then some......

I will keep you all posted! as I am sure this dating service will be plenty of blog fodder for your decadent minds.....

ciao babes!!!!

~C