Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Tuesday, July 19, 2011 Lookie here...I don't know what you have been told but have I ever discussed how meaningful my job is amongst the bullshit???? Lemme take a moment out of my gator-ade drinking (cuz I mean, it's only a gazillion degrees here in the A.T.L. and my boobs stuck to my bra from all the sweating regardless of how much talcom powder I used to keep them from sticking, I was still able to throw my bra against a wall and it stuck.) ok back to my topic of how I lurve, lurve lurve my job people.......Truly I do..........however....as any good samaritan at times, I wish I would just die at some of things I do to help someone....Case in point....I went fishing in deep-sewage people...I was like.....Rambo...Remember when in part one he was captured by the bad people and they like semi hog tied him to this thingy and I guess they were wanting him to meditate on some things and dumped him in that sewage pit of pee and poop? Yeah....that was me...Except it was a classier version...So it went like this....I am sitting in my office doing paperwork and I get the call.... Boss Secretary: Hey....can you go to Ms. so and so and find out why she keeps calling us she isnt even one of our patients... Me: Ok...I will call you back.... knock knock knock... Me: "Hello? How are you? I was told to stop by to see if there was something you needed?" Her: ummmm...Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh....Ummmmmmm.....I.....Ummmmmm*At this point I have already scoped her apartment and noticed the 20 bottles of pills that I can sell for new tires and have figured out she was high which accounts for her hooked on phonics of speech slur*......... I....ummmmmmmm...need someone to change my toilet pot...It has been like that since yesterday afternoon....... I survey the room and look it at from afar as if it was a danger mission of a task....I excused myself for a moment and called home base... Me: Hey....she wants and needs her toilet emptied..I dont know where her personal nurse is but if I do it Im charging her...what say ye? Secretary: Go for it.... I go back to her apartment, glove up and proceed to her bomb and while walking towards it I tell her to start writing out a check...........I get to this ladies toilet and OMGeeeee- Jimminy fluckity fluck people I lifted the lid and dry heaved.......I slammed the lid back and looked at ms. thang and then told her... Me: Look....you, like Houston..have a problem and I need to call mission control..... She looks at me dumbfounded and says: her: What's wrong? Me: What's wrong is that not only do you have a half bucket full of feces and urine, but you have disposable gloves in the mix. I cant flush that down your toilet. It will back flow and I dont do carpet cleaning...So...this is one job I dont think I can do..... I tell her give me a few moments... I go back to my office call mission control and tell them the situation. They tell me not to worry about it let the nurse handle it if she ever shows back up.....I have a sit down in my ergonomic chair, look out the window and ponder and I ask myself the "How would I want someone to help if they could my relative if in that situation..." So......I call mission control and tell them I will handle it somehow...She starts screaming... "Noooooo Waaaayyyyy"...............but I put on my big girl panties and started the mission of pee and poop fishin... "I aint lyin"..................So............ I go to a couple of floors and ask if anyone at the nurses station have any bio bags....All engineering could lend me were bio extra duty cinch saks....Ok.....it will have to work...So I triple bagged.....then went on the look out for something to go fishing with....All I could muster up were plastic disposable salad thongs......It was in a spork design....I triple gloved, sars masked, and went to do battle people.... I took everything in her bathroom and proceeded to fish.....literally......I fished out all of the disposable gloves into the hefty bags....flushed everything else down the toilet.....nearly created a bomb by using way to much clorox to sanitize, *which by the way my peeps is this whores best friend....* but before I could call it quits as I felt myself beginning to dry heave I was headed out but my eyes averted to the corner of the toilet bowl and I saw that there were still some floaties and before I knew it i added my own fish food and threw up right on the floor missing the toilet myself by an inch or two.....Thank God I had mr. clorox.....Thank you thank you..Amen...... I completed the task of cleaing the additional poo pee throw up mix, picked up the check and rolled the hellup outta there people...... See????? people like me wont let your loved ones down....!!!!! I dont know what you've been told but I do love my job....most of the time....I aint lyin............jus sayin yo............ callie rocked you at7:28 PM 0 Comments: 
Friday, July 15, 2011 Hello savy peeps! I know I know, dont even go there about me playing hide and go seek... I still plea the fifth. It is and has been hard as hell to keep my word about updating you all in the realm of Callie. See my life is not all that grand. After all I am knee deep in cleaning poo all day. So how glam can that be??????OMGeeeeee..I gotta tell you one thing. If I were a lesbian I would so be chasin Nikki Minaj down. I think she is freakin fabulous AND the Barbie will be here in the ATL Sunday yo! Nahhh I cant go. Once again the glam callie will be cleaning poo......... Albeit, Nikki probably wouldnt give me the time of day because I wouldnt know how to *give it to her* using a strap on...I mean seriously...They give classes for that right? because it's not like I walk around with a rubber johnson swaying down my thigh *and yes...women like men that have that shit swinging at thigh length* dont play.......anywho as I was saying...do they do classes??Strap on classes???? I mean it's alot of movement ya know...keeping it at a correct pace and not having it pop out and such......I dont.....jus sayin............... In the meantime, I miss ya'll.... I miss DAZD and *both* Petes....I miss Seraphine.....I dont miss Pele cause she is always emailing me when someone sends her a bootleg email under my name as it's spam. YO if any of you got that, Im sorry. I had no idea my shit was being hacked......And if I knew who it was puleeze believe I would be pullin a jackie chan espresso on someones ass....TRUST........................ I have decided that in 2 years when my son graduates I am moving. I dont know where......I know where I would like but what would I do for income??? Surely no one wants to see me in a strip club trying to do the dougie on a pole.....Not with my muffin top anyways...It can be a riot....So.......what can I do???? Ahhhh where can I go....thats the ticket........ Anyways, before I started my glass of wine, I just wanted to drop a line and say WASSUP..........OMGeeeee...Did ya'll know Dwayne Johnson was here in the ATL filming???? Why didnt anyone text a whore and tell me???????? I would luv me some long time Dwayne the ROCK Johnson so gooooood.....That fine Samoan hotness! make me drool as I type...Dont you all just hate people that call you and dont leave a voice mail...And then if you see them, it's like "I have been calling you?" I am quick to say "Oh Yeah...I dont answer my phone from bill collectors....." Jus sayin.....................Peace love and alcohol rubs people.....Until the morrow.... ciao PS..... Dwayne Johnson...and my make believe Johnson...ya think he would let me try???? Jus askin yo. |
