Who Is Callie?
I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted.
Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,.
World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt!
Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?
 
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Wednesday, October 24, 2012 It is hard to explain sometimes to get others to understand. and I may be wrong. which is why it helps to get feedback but until then I will just say it from my perspective. I dislike weak men. I really do..And no it isnt that I just dislike men that cry. I mean the men that cant make decisions. the men that cant decide to lead ..take charge...Don't they know this is something women crave? As I was explaining to a friend. Perhaps women sometimes go with the pants droppin bandanna wearing gansta thug because we fill they know how to do the damn thing vs. a man dressed in a suit and tie.Men..my brothers.. It is about that hidden swagger that excites us. Its about protecting us. Letting us know that you are down for our cause. Its that sexual appeal that makes us wet and how you entice our minds and engage our thoughts. Its how when problems arise you take the initiative to get it worked out to the best of your ability. We look at all of that. at least i do... perhaps i am also just really too deep at times for my own good. I swear I am close to the nunery. callie rocked you at12:06 PM 0 Comments: 
Friday, October 19, 2012 This post is with regards to yesterdays post. Something that I have put into practice and do so everyday. "Grace"....... to me it is an extension of another facet of love.Me: Do you still love me? Him: Of course. I was just feeling guilty thats all. It's not you its me. Me: Its "US"..youre never alone. ur my favorite. And Im sorry ....I dont know what youre going through... and I didnt know you were stressed and I am just sorry. Him: You dont have to apologize, in a way I need it. Its nothing but a learning experience for me if anything I should be the one apologizing. Later after this exchange with my son I received this messege: Texter: Hi Ms "Callie".. This is Juan and I just want to say that I am available to talk. I'm reaching out because I dont want to lose a friendship. Even though I had no involvement in those actions I still knew about it. And when I found out is where I feel like I messed up as a friend for covering it instead of informing you about it.And I dont want you to have that image of me ma'am. I just hope it's not too late. I did express to him that it is never too late to do the right thing and make ammends. What this has shown me that we all make stupid mistakes. We as parents are so bent on making sure that our kids do the right things, that we forget we didnt always do the right things, and yes even though at times our actions had serious consequences we did in the end come out alright. It's scary watching my child make stupid ass decisions, but I have to do what I can do and let go of what I cant and just learn how to be more supportive when things do go to custard. Can I have a pirin tablet now? You know..an aspirin with the a and the s scraped off. *winks callie rocked you at1:21 PM 0 Comments:
Thursday, October 18, 2012 Who would have thought that one day I, Callie would post something so unforeseen that not even I can believe that I am..and yet this is one of those posts. A post that I did not ever think I would have to post about- and yet should because not only will this help me but maybe someone else. Yesterday as I got home from work, I looked at my sons report card and my mouth hit the floor. My bright, handsome, funny, honor student, reserved teen was not only failing close to 3 classes in his senior year - but is also smoking weed in my home, me totally unaware. I have written about my son before in previous posts. He is just the most amazing young man. Smart as a whip....gentle and kind....soft spoken....giving....and now an illegal drug user. Ok so some of you out there will read this and be able to whip out the legalities of why *weed* is good for the soul. Yeah yeah. I know and heard all the bullshit on that. And yes, it's your choice. But this is not acceptable to me as a parent- as I am paying the bills, and putting the clothes on his back, food on the table. He is under my roof therefore he or anyone else would need to abide by the house rules.I am sure it was not his intention nor perhaps did he think things would have come to a head like that did last night. After viewing his report card and listening to bullshit excuses I recall seeing myself step out of my body and ripping X-box shit out of the wall. Cords flying here and there.. Video games being snatched from this way and that. Electronic devices being thrown up against walls.... And then I went to his room.. Opened a drawer and proceeded to dig through looking for games. cell phones. i pods...and then I stopped...and I asked him... :"Do you have any drugs or any paraphernalia hiding in this room? " "Yes Maam" he said softly....and my heart sank.....my body merged into the one that was out of control, and I responded cooly... "I want it all now"........... I watched as my son dug through a drawer and handed me a prescription bottle that was unmarked but filled with a substance I dont recgonize I just took his word for what it was. I asked him who else he was smoking with he told me his friends. These same friends that I have taken into my home as my sons. His brothers..they all grew up together.. I told my son to get dressed...and we drove over to their house and I had a meeting with their parents *who by the way were uncontrollable in their emotions and reactions as I had to inform them that they were all doing this*.............by the time I left I was in shambles. My mind racing. my son not speaking to me...... We got home and went our seperate ways. He in his room. Me in mine. I cried myself to sleep... I cried so hard- whispering in the night while bawling in my pillow. "God, whatever grace you have given to me, pour it out on my son..and bring him back to me..." This morning my home is solemn. I took him to school in hopes of having a more rational conversation as last night, I was not the mom..the friend.. I was his worst nightmare. I cussed. I yelled. I was angry and hurt..so hurt. In a more calmer approach and voice, I told him we would need to discuss some things when I got home..He needed to do some things in school that I asked him to do.... I also mentioned to him- that if there was anything in his locker that didnt need to be there, get rid of it. One of the things I also found out- when confronted- no names of who the sellers are come into the open or in play. No one was willing to narc on anyone- which meant that I have no idea of touching base with these students without having my own either beat up- or killed. This mornings conversation was not a good one also...I was met with silence- to a "i dont think you love me and I hate you." "I hate you." my son.....the young man that has NEVER given me any issues now hates me. Though you readers and yes somewhere in my psyche and puffy red eyes say "Callie, he didnt mean it" to know that my child is suffering inside to produce that- kills me.... I called my mom.... "Momma, my son now hates me...." I whispered to her in choked tears... "Momma, did I ever tell you that growing up?" She said she would plea the fifth..but yes..my brother and I did...but she knew it was in the moment... I apologized profusely to my mom.. I cant remember saying that..ever...But if it caused her as much pain as what I feel in this moment of typing this.... My heart feels like it is going to burst.... So.....what to do.... We as parents...we do what we can....we try and do the best we can by them.....I am racking my brain trying to retrace if i did something wrong...what could i have done different...and so much more..... And yet...also in this moment... I recognize a war. A war with my son, and so many other kids and teens today. I refuse to give up on my child and will fight for him. I have too....he is destined for so much greater than what he sees or knows. as are so many other kids and teens... They are worth the fight..... callie rocked you at11:08 AM 0 Comments:
Monday, October 15, 2012 2. Mr. I am NOT The kind of African You have met with before: You are certain as shit about that Mr. Mustafa. You are not a Mandigo warrior like you said you are and truly believed. *nica- these readers don't know do they?* Ok..so here is the story about this pussy. He and I have known each other for a while. meaning a year or so... He was invited to a party I threw. He came and all of my guests including him had a great time. He kept in touch afterwards. We started hanging out. *every day*...Lunch and or dinner and sometimes both. He called me, text me.....and then the warning flags started coming up but I in my own ineptness at the time ignored my gut- *as some people do* and I tried to take the flags down.See, I tried to be "proactive".. meaning when a man tells a woman what he didnt have from other relationships we as women try and give them what they are needing..As was my case. And then the flags started to pile up. He would call me or send me text messeges all hours of the day and night and would get hysterical when I would not respond in an instant. "I expect you to answer or text when I call you. Why is it that you are always busy when I call? Why cant you be more attentive? I don't think you are ready for a relationship." Ummmm yes bitch.. I am always busy because I am working. or driving. or sleeping. or eating. I found myself saying "ok..I will do better..I'm sorry..shiiiiit" only to find myself running to catch the phone while brushing my teeth. while sleeping. while eating. while masterbating. while peeing. while shitting. It got to a point I was answering the phone even if it didn't ring. But I tried to be "proactive"..and then after some time, I did the do with him...You know..we ended up fucking. and the first time it was good...and then the rest of the times, it was hell. I found myself lying about it. making excuses. faking it. yes. I did. trying to save his masculinity and getting myself off when alone. But again..I was trying to be "proactive"....And then he started doing things that just wasn't right..for example.. He would go to my bathroom take a shit like as if he blew the hoover damn and would not flush my toilet. Who the fuck does that?? and I asked him...what the fuck are you thinking? This is my home..this is MY HOME..and you treat it like you treat me?? like it doesn't matter. I helped him that night grab his shit and threw him out of my house..Oh but I also forgot to mention..it was kinda a done deal while grabbing his clothes his underware was full of shit. I mean..like. I don't know how to wipe my ass shit in the drawers. Like.. Dale Earnhardt and Danica Patrick and everyone else in NASCAR did a 500 lapper on the Talladega in his underware... What. The. Fuck. oh nooooooo.... After throwing him out of my house, it was guilt trip city. "I wasn't this. I wasn't that. I'm not going to ever have a good man in my life because of this and that." and what really sank my battleship.. "You don't know what loyalty is or how to be loyal." At this- I didn't respond. I haven't spoken to his non speaking english ass wiping ass in a hot minute, but his insinuation and accusation of the word Loyalty stuck with me for a long time. Loyalty is defined as:
loy·al·ty
[ lóy əltee ]
Now... for some of you assholes out there that I have dealt with, let me explain to you the jonx version of loyalty. Not only for myself but on and for the behalf of other women out there that demonstrate this tedious task just to please assholes such yourself.
I am LOYAL...Loyal is when you're broke asses couldn't pay your parking ticket, your light bill, your baby momma- you would come to me to so call 'borrow' it. Hell you were my man. Of course i'm gonna help your ass out.. why? because of loyalty. When you're ass got slung in jail or you have a little issue going on in which you had no one to turn to when you're own family let you down- it was me that was in your corner holding you up. encouraging you. why? because I am fucking loyal. And lest we NOT forget the times I didn't want to do something sexual but I did to please you." You want my legs stretched where baby?" That's right. When you wanted to be more explorative in your fantasies you didn't need to ask me how fucking high. I encouraged your asses to be comfortable enough to know that I was down with whatever you wanted to do or try because hey.. you were MY MAN and I was down with you! even though 90% of the time it wasn't about me but what I could do for you- because of loyalty. You fucking losers. The next time you wanna be a bitch imposter just let me and other ladies know ahead of time. That way- we can skip all the bullshit of hearts and minds getting played and will just basically instruct you to drop to your knees and suck our strap on dicks for a change. I hope you gag on mine. at least it gets the job done from time to time.
"Yeah I said it." "deuces"
callie rocked you at12:54 PM 0 Comments:
WARNING:
This post may hurt your feelings because today It's All About You. Expect a thorough tongue lashing with heartfelt fuck you condolences. It is after all- what you left me. To the reader- if you are offended by such things, please hit the close browser and seek out a different topic in the topics side rail or just leave my page. You're forgiven.
Ok so let the JonkFest begin. I have for days now had to think about this upcoming post. I had rattled it over in my head. I asked myself the questions of: "Should I be very timid like in my writing to spare others from seeing how crazy I was?" or "Should I not curse so much because even though I can conduct myself as a lady, I don't normally go around cursing like a sailor." and then I was left with: "Gurl! Stop! You are who you are and if you use this venue as "YOUR" vent spot and thoughts then so be it. Cowgirl up and let's roll." So that is where I am. Albeit this post may seem a little lengthy, it's only because I got years of shit in my head that needs to come out.
Can I first say that my vagina is pissed! No truly. I am pissed as is my vajayjay. Because of *certain* men that have come in and out of my life- that drama has taken a toll on me as a person and my vajayjay is a person too. Does she not have feelings? She bleeds. She hurts. She has pleasures and pains and if spoken to correctly the bitch can talk! Recognize. Now- lets shift to "why" my sweet lovely vagina and why "I" am so pisssed these days.
Men....Not just every man, but damn near a lot. They aren't men anymore. They are pussies whose own vagina lips didnt stay tucked in but instead fell out into a fold of hanging skin. Yeah I said It. "YOU"....the ones who are so behind todays post. You're pussies. The biggest kind. Let me be more descriptive and point you out.
1. Mr. NY I'm All That and more: Dear Mr. NY wanna be all that but aint- Let me give my lovely readers the insight as to how we met and what really went down. We met on a networking site. He would send me shit via messege box all day everyday and finally asked me out. Sure thing. We met- went to the park had a nice time- and talked. You talked your ass off. like some whining bitch. You talked about how your ass was mugged. hit by a truck. how you live in some kind of shelter where guests can't come see you...etc etc.. I felt sorry for your ass because hey let you men tell it: "Good guys finish last". so in my goodness I gave you the benefit of the fuckin doubt! The next time we hooked up I took your ass out to dinner. You licked your damn plate like you were some poor ethiopian in the desert! bottoms up! No problem. Then we went back to my place for wine and cheese. You couldnt keep your hands off my ass, and even tried to hump it. Who humps ass??? Oh yeah...I forgot...you tried to hump my ass because that so called dick of yours wasnt working right. I felt it as you tried to rub it against me but your shit was asleep and snoring. fine with me. as I told you that night. "I'm on the rag"...I lied..just so you wouldn't contiue to embaress yourself by making excuses. "Damn baby I want to, but my meds from my accident makes me limp sometimes." riigggght. Anywho...the next day I text you to make sure you were ok-have a good day. I don't hear from you. 2 days go by I- being concerned call you and your phone is cut off... Ok..no problem. I send you a text messege via the internet network and get no response....I go to your page and what do I see? The chic you *claim* you werent jiving with seems to had been in touch with you. As she proudly displayed: "I miss you..can't wait to see you again..I love you.." I also noticed that you had been active on your page numerous times prior to this...So you limp dick bastard I deleted and blocked your ass and kept it movin. Now almost a week later I check my email and you have the nerve to send me a "You deleted me! I don't need people like you in my life! I dont think we need to see or talk to each other anymore." blah the fuckin blah... Look playa.. You don't pay my bills. You aint good enough to excite my pussy. You live in whoville and think you ballin. NY Swag? really? really? is that how they roll in the NY??? get the hell on...you make me laugh. Yeah I said it. Bada Bing. Bada Boom.
Part Two in another post.
callie rocked you at11:28 AM 0 Comments:
Tuesday, October 09, 2012 I have given up on men. No really.. If you would read my many versed topics of discussion throughout the years I have come to the realization that I am to be a nun. They have non virgins! I have just had to let that shit sink into my head.. I think by chance I also heard Gods voice *which in my mind sounds like James Earl Jones* and he said "Nooooooo....the force is not with you Callie" and it kinda scared me and I think I cried but sucked up the snot bubbles and reconciled as I threw deuces up into the sky and said: "Youre right God-James Earl Jones"...... Now don't get me wrong. I love men. and I have given men the opportunity to meet me.. But I also think part of me did that to be nice OR I am just desperate for adult male conversation for a change because I have gone out with some men that you all would have slapped me for.. Like the one guy from Africa..I mean truly. How many times did I tell you all that I would not go out with an African because they were crazy. end of story. and I did..and he was tall and gorgeous from the back and face to face over coffee I couldnt help but notice one eye went east and the other went waaaay west and I felt it distracting. And I couldnt understand his verbal skills in some areas, and when he got a phone call from a relative how I couldnt help but laugh because it sounded exactly like the little african child from that one South Park Episode.And oh yeah, the one guy that looked like a GQ model that I had been conversing with for a month that I met for breakfast *that he volunteered to cook* threw me out of his house because I wouldnt put out...Yeah that was a first for me. I got put out for not putting out. I bought my own breakfast that day. And oooooh one of the best ones so far. The one that showed up at the Red Lobster looking like he just auditioned for SuperFly and wore a pimp daddy suite, talking all loud bout how "I jus loooove me some scrimps and lobstah baby!" and how I started to sulk in my booth because he broke his cheese biscuits apart whilst flashing his big rings on each finger and cocaine fingernails- and told me how he was a Prophet-Preacher and I wasn't ready for the word he had to share..So..because I am one to listen I stuck my foot in it and asked..And he proceeded to tell me the stories from the Bible but in his version of jack and jill...and lest we not forget how during slurps of his beer and cheese bread how he has out of body experiences all the time..and then his phone rang.. "Yo man im out wit a fiiiine lady right now whatcha need? Nawww maaan! I can't meet you till later and then I can give you a dime bag. cool. later." and it was with that I expressed I understood fully why he had out of body expriences. I text my son I was so outta there but he begged me to wait for dessert and bring some biscuits home. Now I have met some really nice men..with actual jobs...and that could dress and smell so good and all of the above. But that is where it ends. They - we- just didnt click. and the ones I was interested in wasnt feeling it with me..So there you go... I am gonna die alone. Unless God has pity on me and plants someone right in my path and he has a big blinking arrow that says- "go forth and multiply." and then I would be more than elated to hump him like a rabbit 24-7. Holla. callie rocked you at11:15 AM 0 Comments:
Monday, October 08, 2012 It never Fails. You start off the new year with promises and you really really work hard to overcome things from the past- only to get caught up once again in the bull shit and end up asking for another year to break more promises. Same crap- Different Year.Since I was last here I found that I had to back off my blog which I did for a long time. I wasnt inspired and I think I was coming off as a nut case at times because after all : " she puts the lotion in the basket" ..............yep that was me. It wasnt that I wasnt inspired. it was just I wasnt inspired in how my life was going, and little by little I knew I had to somehow intergrate my thoughts back to the page that gave me solace and meaning, and gosh knows some of you that I was bang up on some of my thoughts. Like for one.. Remember Ernest from Mexico and that diatribe? Well after 5 years I went ahead and sent him an I Forgive Him Email for a year of worthless bullshit and a hemorrhoid. He hasnt responded which is. My heart and mind forgave him and my ass doesnt pucker in pain anymore so I am gucci.. TRUST.... Remember my love Michael? Well he passed away a week after thanksgiving last year. That broke me in so many ways. Though we were no longer a couple, he was still a part of me. The good part. because when it was bad it was horrid. I didnt really grieve for him. I kept his number in my phone for the longest time just to hear his voice messege. We had spoken a week prior to his death and he apologized and was in such a happy place....This thanksgiving will mark a year since we last spoke...literally. Remember the story about my job? well things have changed considerably in a good way. I gave up management to do one on one care now and I am fine and happy with that instead of all that bull shit. Recall me stressing so bad that my hair started falling out? Even the va jayjay cause you know- nerves are there too..Dont act like you dont know. Remember The Beast? well she finally conked the hell out and I had to part with her. Yep. Got wet eyes and everything. She was awesome at 300 K gagiliion miles, holes in the floor board, and best believe under the hood she was decorated with duct tape in different patterns and colors. The guy at the car dealership was like" Maam? will it make around the corner for a test drive?" I was like "Hell to the yes!!! err just dont go past 50mph though because she will start to shake rattle and roll and smoke." They offerent me 500.00. So now I have another truck .. She was Christened with the name "SwagonWagon"..and then after work I noticed big huge Heron shit splattered all over the back right window. I am still...SINGLE...I know I know....But hey what can I say. My old standby boyfriend by the name of B.O.B. blew a battery fuse after a year. I wanted to send that shit back but I kinda new it was on the fritz after heating up.... Well.. I knew it wasnt normal..but still... Anywho... I am hoping to reconnect with my old pals and hope to create new ones. I missed ya'll.... Bada Bing, Bada Boom! |
