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Friday, March 14, 2008
Slick, can I borrow that middle finger of yours to shove up the butt of the IRS? Dazd, yes please handle the phone calls and get them straight. Dixie, please come scoop me up in your banana mobile of a schoolbus and take me to the nearest bar. Pele, just give me a ticket back home, because right now people I have had it! This week alone I have been graced in my mailbox to pull out a total of 6..count em....6 letters from the IRS telling me:
1. We got your stuff
2. We didnt get your stuff
3. These are copies of the stuff you sent us
4. You owe us money for the above mentioned stuff that we received...oooops..that we didnt receive.....ooops that we received and are sending you copies of......
5. Please resubmit your stuff
6. Maam....we just don't know what the hell we are doing, but have a beer on us and sorry for the inconvenience.
Done people. Done....and THESE are the people we pay to watch our money in a sense? You know this situation has reached epic cussing proportions when your pastor calls you and you break out into tears and realize 5 minutes into the conversation that you have gone from a smooth talking ghettolatinafabulous gem like myself, to richard pryor in 0-60 flat people! After I finished I took a deep breath and told him.... "Well, you asked how I was........are you there?" He was so understanding though. See he works for the IRS to make sure the IRS are doing "their" jobs. When I emailed him all of the stuff going back and forth he was amazed and told me he needed a few days to make some calls and find out what was going on...So...next week I am sure I will have something more meaningful to talk about.
Pele? Are you surfing the crimson tide yet? Because you and I share the same surfboard and I am crampin like a mofo dreamin of a chocolate sundae with extra nuts and cherries and whipped cream...*sighs*
And while I am typing this- I am on the phone right now listening to this lady try and explain to me about the tax shit- and she just has no idea how I am ignoring her ass as she is trying to explain to me what mail she will be sending out in regards to my acct. "And on page 7 I highlighted this, and skip to page 16 where I highlighted that, but pay no attention to the middle fluff...." pulllleeeeze. Right now, anything they say is SPAM.....imitation of words with excess fillers.
*breathe...breathe.....* In other scopes of my mind boggling space- How does a lady sit on a toilet for 2 years? Riddle.Me.That? I saw it in the news and I thought, what? did the boyfriend just superglue her to the rim of it? I mean....2 years????? Did he remove the ky and things like that from the drawers so she couldn't unseal herself some how? How strange and terrible at the same time.
Alas, Ms. I will send you your transcripts through the mail so you can ammend your taxes for 2005. 2005 people! It is 2008 and your just now hounding me about some bullshit in the amount of 350.00? ok...ok... Omelette this roll..right?
PS...Slick..I am tired of when i leave comments on your site your little word verify thingie is giving me words I have to wikipedia...
What's a mangina?