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I am "The Full Monty"- Vibrant, Educated, Articulate, Twisted. Absinthe Drinker, Diverse and Sensual,. World Travel Freak, Guiness Beer Drinker, Simplistic and Flirt! Lover of Life, Trying To Keep The Flow, On a Journey unknown. Won’t you Join Me?

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Friday, May 25, 2007

I can do this people...I can...really....

1. My car stalled on me this morning at a railroad track... So I did what I could..Jumped out and lifted the hood, went to my trunk and pulled out a hammer... A guy pulls up and says "Need any help?" "NO thanks..I can do it..." I went back to the front of the truck and hit my battery cables with the hammer a few times and cranked her up... VRooooooom she purred..."Daaaaaammmn he smiled"... I can do this .

2. "Mom" the toilet is over flowing!! yesterday when I got home... I stop washing dishes grab the plunger and my flip flops and pray there isnt shit floaties... I turn off the water and proceed to plunge and flush a few times...Turn the water back on and flush and all is well.... "Gee thanks Mom your the best." I can do this.....

3. "Mom!" my son comes in crying again on yesterday.... "I fell off the skateboard and hurt my leg and it's bleeding!" "Calm down and suck it up dear..Can you move it?" "Yes" he cried through sniffles... "Ok...give me a moment... I grabbed the witch hazel and cotton balls, cleaned his knee, applied shea butter to it and told him all was well..." "But mom, my jeans are ripped." "No problem" I told him.. I grabbed an old shirt and ripped a piece off of it and my glue gun, melted it together and voila! "Now you have cool jeans babe!" "Thanks Mom, your awesome!" I can do this.....

4. I am now asleep...The time is 1:30 am... "Mom" I heard him say... "Mom, I threw up"... "Ok babe...Did you do it in the bathroom...?" "Yes..." "OK"... "Need some tea for your stomach?" "Yes".. "OK"..... I get up and stumble to the kitchen to get some tea started and walk into his bathroom to get him a wet wash cloth when suddenly the smell hit me as I turned on the light.... "Oh Shit! there is puke all on the floor! I thought you did it in the bathroom??!!!" "I did" he moans... "Oh Shit...I can't do this!"

Have a great weekend angels.
callie